One Last Breath

Skylar

There was a silence in the household that consumed the two of us. My brow was furrowed dramatically, creating deep lines on my forehead that screamed to be creased out. My bottom lip was between my teeth while I gently chewed on it in thought. In my lap, my fingers drummed against my thigh.

“This is boring, I don’t want to play chess anymore,” I pouted, moving my chair back and folding my arms across my chest.

“That’s because you’re losing!” Anthony exclaimed in exasperation, giving me a little glare.

“That, my dear brother is not the point,” I said in my defense, even though his accusation was entirely true. He continued to glare at me while I just smiled because I knew it would make him even angrier. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly just as my father walked into the room, looking bemused as hell.

“Your daughter is a sore loser,” the younger boy mumbled, still upset. I rolled my blue eyes at him.

“We didn’t finish the game, so you don’t know if I would have been a loser or not.”

“That’s because you knew your ass was going to be handed to you and quit.”

“It’s the smartest tactic.”

It was our father’s turn to roll his eyes and I just gave him my innocent smile. “Come on children, I made lunch.”

I placed a hand over my chest in faux hurt. “Father, I am a fully grown woman, not a child!”

“Sometimes I doubt that.”

Anthony laughed obnoxiously, which earned him a sore punch in the arm from me. I wasn’t the strongest at this point in my life, but I took pride in the fact that he walked into the kitchen rubbing his upper arm. Victory.

My father, unfortunately, handed me an overly large and overly healthy sandwich while my brother got artery clogging fried food. I would have argued about the unfairness, but I had had that fight with everyone in the household. I was to eat as healthy as possible while staying here, seeing as a healthy diet was supposed to help my muscles dissolve slower than usual. Why is it that nutrients the body needs has to come from healthy things rather than food dipped in oil and flavor?

As I munched on the sandwich, I couldn’t help but blame Noah for telling my family I was to have absolutely no junk food. The blame didn’t last long, however, because I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him. The man had been by my side since day one here, he’d cried with me, and he was helping me heal. How could someone stay mad at someone so amazing?

Unfortunately, Noah was back at the hospice right now, talking to the nurses about my soon to be stay there and everything that I needed for said stay—as well, he was picking up supplies that he needed to take care of me here. But mostly, arrangements needed to be made as soon as possible, that way everyone would be ready for my unexpected arrival at the hospice.

Two or so weeks had gone by since I was last there to get my EKG, and against everyone’s hopes, it didn’t seem that the dystrophy was slowing down any. I hadn’t gone to sleep with any symptoms of a dry spell, and it had gotten everyone’s hopes crushed, but they were all still here for me. My family of three was actually starting to help Noah when it came to my physical therapy. Dr. McKnight would guide them on what I needed to do to keep my arms as normal as possible and my parents and brother started to do everything with me, that way I didn’t feel so alone when doing it.

I couldn’t help but smile into my meal at the thought of my family. They were doing well with hiding their sadness about my condition, and unless they had to, they didn’t treat me any differently than they would treat anyone else. We did things that normal families would, we talking about normal things, and we just enjoyed one another’s company.

I was forced to put my sandwich down when my arm began to spasm, and I did it as calmly as I could, that way the two men didn’t notice a difference in me. Right now, my dad was talking to my brother about school, a normal topic, and I smiled like nothing was going on.

No matter how much better they thought I was doing, I was still hiding the pain and the worst of it away from them. They didn’t know how much it hurt me, they didn’t understand that every twitch or spasm was like two muscles going to war on another; they didn’t understand any of it. Noah had some clue, but the way I always dismissed it made everyone believe it didn’t hurt as bad as it did. In all honesty, it was agony. And to bear with it all and continue on with my act, I snuck pain pills so no one would notice. They helped, but only a little.

Noah

After all the times that Skylar and I had slept in the same bed together at night, I found it weird to sleep in one of the guest beds near her room. Her family visited as much as possible, which was more than I thought when her parents told me they would be busy, but there were still many days when the two of us would be left alone together. When no one but the two of us occupied the house, I “snuck” into her bedroom and held her close. Sometimes we would stay awake to talk about nothing that important, and other times we held each other when one of the days had been really bad for her. Whether we slept or not, I found comfort holding her at night.

Tonight was one of the nights where I was forced to sleep alone. It was a Saturday night, which meant that Anthony and his father were here because there was no school, and I had to retreat to my bedroom. I wasn’t all that happy about the arrangement either, because today I had to spend most of my time away from Skylar at the hospice, arranging her things for when she was forced to come back. By the time I came home, the sun had already gone down and everyone was getting ready for bed.

So there I lay in my own bed, looking up at the ceiling as I tried to fall asleep. Seeing as I was awake, I heard everything that was going on in the house right now, which meant I heard when a particular person was rolling out of her room. Skylar was headed away from me, which was strange because the only reason she should have been leaving her room was to visit me or use the bathroom, which was in my direction.

I got out of bed as silently, as to not wake anyone or let my patient know I was following her. Thankfully, this house seemed to be in great shape so there was no creaking doors or squeaky floorboards, that way I went undetected. I follow the noise of Skylar to the kitchen and was confused when I heard what sounded like muffled grunts.

When I walked into the kitchen, my heart dropped right into my stomach at the sight. Skylar, looking tired and sicker than she actually was, was spamming in her wheel chair. A bottle of pain medication was in her hand, and through the twitches, she was trying to get out the right amount of pills. A sound of deep pain left her mouth, though it was silent. She didn’t want to wake anyone in the house.

“Skylar.”

Said girl jumped in her chair and looked over at me. Her eyes were wide when she saw me, and she tried to hide the bottle, but what seemed like a painful shiver when through her, so she held onto it tighter and made another pained sound.

I came right over to her and took the bottle from her hands, pouring out three white pills and handing them to her. I watched as she smiled at me in gratitude before downing all the pills. While she did that, I watched her body.

Almost every part of her was moving, showing that the muscles under her skin we battling each other and causing the girl more pain then she had ever let on. Though what muscles she had left in her legs were weak, they too were jumping and causing discomfort that she could barely feel. Her arms must have been the most painful thing.

“N-Noah, I didn’t—“

“How long have you been sneaking pills behind everyone’s back?” I asked her in a whisper, harsher than I intended it to be.

She swallowed down another painful sound before answering me. “A couple d-days after we left the hospice. I take them a-all throughout the day when n-no one is looking.”

I pulled the girl out of her chair and into my arms, holding her body steady and tight as I leaned against the wall closest to me. She was tucked into my so tightly that I could feel every muscle pushing against her skin and winced when she made those wounded animal noises. God, it must have hurt so much, yet she had been hiding it so well. If I hadn’t of been awake, who knows how long this would have gone on.

“Skylar, why didn’t you just tell me you were hurting so bad? I could have done something.”

“I didn’t want anyone to worry more than they had to.”

There it was again, the voice of a reason of a child that was forced to grow up too fast. At the age of thirteen, she was forced to turn herself into an adult and take care of herself. Skylar had been shown that adults weren’t the ones that needed help. Knowing that her family would want to help her, she hid every pain she ever had and dealt with it herself. She just put on a brave face and acted like nothing was wrong.

I held her there like that until the spasms stopped and the pills kicked in. Every time she tensed in extreme pain or made a noise, I kissed her. Her neck, her shoulders, her head, anything I could reach. It was almost an hour before her body had tired itself out.

“Skylar, you can’t hide this anymore. Not from me, anyway. Tell me when you’re in pain, okay? I’ll get you something that will stop it.”

She nodded her head and I kissed her blonde locks, trying not to cry at how brave she was being.

“It’s getting worse,” she whispered, the edges of sleep in her voice.

“I know,” was all I said back, and wished that it wasn’t.