One Last Breath

Noah

I ran my fingers through Skylar’s blonde locks, trying my hardest to pay attention to the thrum of the TV, but was more worried about the girl that was sleeping sprawled across my lap. It was mid-afternoon, a time where the two of us—when alone together—spent time outside in the sun, or a time where we would stroll through the woods. Today, however, was what Skylar called her “weak days”.

They had been somewhat common lately, and at first we had mistaken it as a sign of her dystrophy slowing down. Just like the dry spells, she was tired most of the time, and would take one to two hour naps, or sleep in later. However, unlike the dry spells, she didn’t feel better afterwards. On these weak days, Skylar just felt tired all around. Unless she had a really long sleep, she just felt like she had been working too hard.

This was the second weak day that we had had this week, the other one having only been two days ago. While we had taken it as a bad sign when it first started happening, we found that it didn’t have that much of a negative effect on her. Actually, it was almost like a positive, because on these weak days, her muscles seemed to agree that they shouldn’t wage war against each other and cause her pain. It was almost like her sickness was taking a day off every time it happened.

The girl stirred in her sleep, pushing me out of my thoughts, and I continued to pet her head. I felt and saw her hand move to rub the sleep out of her eyes and I smiled down at her, even if she couldn’t see it.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to fall back asleep,” she said quietly, snuggling further into my lap. I chuckled.

“That’s not a bad thing, you know. You’re allowed to sleep on days like these.”

She turned her body so that she was now facing me and could look into my eyes while we talked. “Doesn’t it get boring for you, though? I mean, I sleep, but you’re trapped here. No one is even here to entertain you.”

I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, making her close her eyes and sigh. I moved to her lips and gave her a quick kiss there too before pulling away to answer her question.

“As long as I’m with you, sleeping or not, I don’t care. I’m not bored, I’m content and happy just sitting here with you.”

Skylar started to pull herself up into a sitting position on my lap, which I only helped a little bit with. She was very adamant about keeping her independence; she would tell me to back off if she thought I was helping her too much. Once she was in a comfortable enough place, she rested her head on my shoulder and kissed my neck. “I love you Noah.”

“I love you too Skylar,” I whispered, bringing her body closer to mine.

I ran my hand back and forth against one of her legs, thinking about how small they had gotten since I first met her. She had liked to wear pants to hide her legs back then, because even though the dystrophy wasn’t as far along back then, you could still tell there was something wrong. But now that it was just me and her most of the time, and occasionally her family, she didn’t hide it anymore. Sure, she still liked to wear her comfy pants, but shorts were also a common clothing now more than ever.

The blonde kept kissing my neck, over and over against the pulse and it made me shiver, though not in displeasure. I felt the girl smile against my sensitive skin and kiss again, this time rubbing the tip of her nose along my neck as well. I sighed and turned my head so I could kiss her lips.

“Even on a weak day, you still tease me,” I said. She shrugged her shoulders and grinned up at me, looking as innocent as ever.

“It’s what I do best.”

Skylar shivered in cold and moved closer to me, trying to gain some body warmth from me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder tightly and kissed the top of her head. I could feel the goose-bumps rising on her skin and making the light and silky hair stand at attention. I ran my hand up and down her skin, trying to ease it, but for some reason it stayed like that.

“It got so much chillier in here,” the girl said, pouting and cuddling closer. With a laugh, I pulled the small lap blanket that was behind us and placed it around us, continuing the soft strokes of my hand on her arm.

“Feel any better?” I asked her.

“A little,” she said, though her face looked confused as her light eyes looked down at her body. For the first time, I started to grow concerned.

“What is it?”

“I’m not sure,” the blonde started off, still engaged at looking at her body, “I just don’t feel… right.”

I moved out from under the blanket then, moving to kneel in front of her until I had her whole body in my sight. I made her look at me, and her blue eyes seemed unfocused.

“Skylar, tell me where this feeling is coming from.”

It took her a few seconds, but she started to move her hands to her chest, and seemed like she might indicate with words that it really was her chest, but a gasping breath was all I got back.

As a doctor, I had heard this sound a million time before. When a patient was having a problem with their lungs, or they just needed some oxygen, they tended to make this sound, as if they had just run miles and gulped down air like it might disappear in a second. It was always an alarming sound, a thing that warned you worse might come, but I never been this scared by it. Skylar was making it, and she was different.

“Skylar, hey, can you hear me? Can you breathe?!” All I got back was another gasping breath while her hands went to her throat, like it was going to help her breathe.

“Fuck,” I cursed silently, standing up and running into my guest bedroom where I kept the medical supplies I needed to take care of Skylar. Oxygen was a must have with any patient, so it was right where I needed it to be, but it didn’t stop me from feeling like I was running back to the girl in slow motion.

By the time I got back, Skylar was on her back, her arms spasming as she tried to control them and keep them from accidentally hurting her.

Letting my professionalism take in, I hurried over to her and pinned her to the couch, though it wasn’t that hard because no matter how hard she fought, her weak muscles couldn’t do much against me. While I held her upper body down with one arm, I used the other to force the oxygen mask onto her mouth, not caring if the plastic scraped against her face or if the cord made it too tight against her head. Turning the machine on, I watched as she took in a big breath of air, taking it down like water.

Her chest rose and fell with the movement of her ragged breathing, and I noticed when she exhaled it sounded raspy, like a victim of smoke inhalation might sound like. The new air also helped control her muscles that were fighting against me, and it could almost be concluded that maybe they had been spasming because of their own lack of oxygen.

Skylar’s breathing began to go back to normal, but the rasp didn’t, which worried me. As well, the muscles would still sometimes buck against me violently, which they shouldn’t have.

“I’m fine,” she said, trying to sit up before I pushed her back down.

“Like hell you are Skylar, this is not okay. This is not normal, not in the least. We need to go back to the hospice.”

“Noah, no—“

“No is not an answer right now Skylar. You may not like it, or agree with it, but we need to go back. Get some tests done and see what is going on. It will even help to have more than my pair of eyes on you.”

She closed her eyes tightly, so tight it almost looked painful, and a muscle jumped in her arm and made her punch the back of the couch. However, I had a feeling that that movement had been intended.

“I didn’t want to go back there, not until I absolutely had to.”

Looking at the girl; at her almost dead legs, her weak arms, her almost deformed muscles that lay beneath, I knew she didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“We absolutely have to Skylar. And I don’t think we are coming back here.”

Her eyes closed tighter now, though it didn’t seem possible, and it broke my heart to see tears trail down the side of her face.