Regrets A Waste Of Time
Pain
I was standing outside the school, I was scared to go inside. Those double doors looked like the gates of Hell now. Inside were demons to tell me how evil and wrong I was, but ironically I didn't belong with them. They were better demons, I was nothing.
"Why so glum chum?" came a familiar voice from behind me, I turned to see Jack standing there with a curious grin on his face.
"Just wondering if I wanted to go inside or not, today seems like an awesome day to skip" I said turning around to look back at the doors.
"They can't make you feel bad unless you let them, David. Plus, you have me and Rian, not to mention Alex to protect you"
"You guys can't protect me forever. Zack can be nice to me all he wants but I can see it in his eyes that he thinks I am a freak"
"With an attitude like that, you are never going to get him. David, you are going to march inside those doors and I will be right beside you. No one is going to make you feel like shit" said Jack, I just nodded and walk inside with him. People glanced at me and began whispering to their friends. I tried not to let it bother me, but on the inside I felt like I was dying.
After lunch, I didn't feel like seeing the stares. I started walking down the hall with my lunch. I heard the sounds of gentle bass playing when I reached closer to the band room, I looked inside to see Zack stroking the bass gently. I opened the door gently and he looked up at me, he didn't smile at me. I frowned he must really hate me.
"What are you doing here, David?" asked Zack in an unreadable tone.
"I can leave, I just heard you playing and I didn't feel like eating lunch in the cafeteria. I can just leave" I put my hand on the doorknob.
"You don't have to leave. I am sorry, I am just stressed"
"Because of me, no doubt" i said stepping away from the door and sitting in a empty desk.
"It's not your fault that someone is doing this, David. I just hate that the entire school knows how you feel about me. If it was just you and me, it wouldn't be a problem but this is bigger than you know" said Zack putting down his bass and looking at me, like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't.
"Zack, it would still be a problem. I would have to deal with these same feelings of regret and shame every time I look at you" I said looking down at my shoes.
"Why do you even like me, David? I am nothing special at all"
"Don't kid yourself, Zack. You are amazing, when the gallery put your photos up, I couldn't believe someone that looked as good as you was that talented. Your pictures breathed new life into this town. You are smart, funny, and just amazing." I said as a blush rose onto Zack's face, he looked even cuter.
"You actually went to that? I only sold one picture" said Zack with a shrug.
"Yeah, I know." I said, I knew because I was the one who bought it, Zack looked up at me, opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it.
"Want to learn how to play bass?" Zack asked, no doubt changing the subject.
"I doubt you can teach me to play an instrument, greater men have tired" I said, Zack smiled.
"Well, they weren't Zack Merrick. Come here" said Zack, I got out of the desk and sat down beside him. He put the bass in my lap, then got behind me and put my hands in the correct places. My body tingled when he touched me, i hated myself for feeling this way. "Just strum"
I did what I was told and it didn't sound bad, I smiled.
"You just played your first note" said Zack, I looked up to him with a smile, he smiled back at me. I watched as Zack's smiled faded from his lips, he quickly stood up and moved away from me. "That was good, David. I better get to class"
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, Zack shook his head and left the room. I looked at the bass in my hand, it was Zack's personal bass. I was confused, I didn't know just what happened. The door opened, I expected it to be Zack to come get his bass but it was two jocks, one had a bandage on his nose, he was the one Rian punched the other day. The unbroken nose one, smiled at me.
"All alone, fag?" he asked with a smile, the other one smiled back.
"My friend left but he is coming right back" I lied, hoping it would come true.
"I don't think anyone is coming back for you" said the jock, he looked at his friend "lock the door"
"Guys, um, please don't do this" I said, as I watched the other jock lock the door and pull down the privacy blind.
"Don't worry, we aren't going to hurt you bad" said the broken nose jock.
"Guys, please I will give you anything you want" I pleaded, the jock came up to me and pulled the bass from my hand, I watched in horror as he smashed it on the ground. Zack's bass lay in a million pieces beside me. A tear streamed down my cheek.
"Aww, don't cry faggot. It won't last long" said the jock, I tried to get up and run towards the door but the other jock caught me and held me tightly. His friend punched me hard in the stomach, my breath left my chest. He punched me again, blood came from my mouth. He punched me hard in my mouth, I wasn't sure but I thought saw a tooth fall to the ground. He punched me again. That was all it took, the pain took to much out of me as everything went black.
"Why so glum chum?" came a familiar voice from behind me, I turned to see Jack standing there with a curious grin on his face.
"Just wondering if I wanted to go inside or not, today seems like an awesome day to skip" I said turning around to look back at the doors.
"They can't make you feel bad unless you let them, David. Plus, you have me and Rian, not to mention Alex to protect you"
"You guys can't protect me forever. Zack can be nice to me all he wants but I can see it in his eyes that he thinks I am a freak"
"With an attitude like that, you are never going to get him. David, you are going to march inside those doors and I will be right beside you. No one is going to make you feel like shit" said Jack, I just nodded and walk inside with him. People glanced at me and began whispering to their friends. I tried not to let it bother me, but on the inside I felt like I was dying.
After lunch, I didn't feel like seeing the stares. I started walking down the hall with my lunch. I heard the sounds of gentle bass playing when I reached closer to the band room, I looked inside to see Zack stroking the bass gently. I opened the door gently and he looked up at me, he didn't smile at me. I frowned he must really hate me.
"What are you doing here, David?" asked Zack in an unreadable tone.
"I can leave, I just heard you playing and I didn't feel like eating lunch in the cafeteria. I can just leave" I put my hand on the doorknob.
"You don't have to leave. I am sorry, I am just stressed"
"Because of me, no doubt" i said stepping away from the door and sitting in a empty desk.
"It's not your fault that someone is doing this, David. I just hate that the entire school knows how you feel about me. If it was just you and me, it wouldn't be a problem but this is bigger than you know" said Zack putting down his bass and looking at me, like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't.
"Zack, it would still be a problem. I would have to deal with these same feelings of regret and shame every time I look at you" I said looking down at my shoes.
"Why do you even like me, David? I am nothing special at all"
"Don't kid yourself, Zack. You are amazing, when the gallery put your photos up, I couldn't believe someone that looked as good as you was that talented. Your pictures breathed new life into this town. You are smart, funny, and just amazing." I said as a blush rose onto Zack's face, he looked even cuter.
"You actually went to that? I only sold one picture" said Zack with a shrug.
"Yeah, I know." I said, I knew because I was the one who bought it, Zack looked up at me, opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it.
"Want to learn how to play bass?" Zack asked, no doubt changing the subject.
"I doubt you can teach me to play an instrument, greater men have tired" I said, Zack smiled.
"Well, they weren't Zack Merrick. Come here" said Zack, I got out of the desk and sat down beside him. He put the bass in my lap, then got behind me and put my hands in the correct places. My body tingled when he touched me, i hated myself for feeling this way. "Just strum"
I did what I was told and it didn't sound bad, I smiled.
"You just played your first note" said Zack, I looked up to him with a smile, he smiled back at me. I watched as Zack's smiled faded from his lips, he quickly stood up and moved away from me. "That was good, David. I better get to class"
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, Zack shook his head and left the room. I looked at the bass in my hand, it was Zack's personal bass. I was confused, I didn't know just what happened. The door opened, I expected it to be Zack to come get his bass but it was two jocks, one had a bandage on his nose, he was the one Rian punched the other day. The unbroken nose one, smiled at me.
"All alone, fag?" he asked with a smile, the other one smiled back.
"My friend left but he is coming right back" I lied, hoping it would come true.
"I don't think anyone is coming back for you" said the jock, he looked at his friend "lock the door"
"Guys, um, please don't do this" I said, as I watched the other jock lock the door and pull down the privacy blind.
"Don't worry, we aren't going to hurt you bad" said the broken nose jock.
"Guys, please I will give you anything you want" I pleaded, the jock came up to me and pulled the bass from my hand, I watched in horror as he smashed it on the ground. Zack's bass lay in a million pieces beside me. A tear streamed down my cheek.
"Aww, don't cry faggot. It won't last long" said the jock, I tried to get up and run towards the door but the other jock caught me and held me tightly. His friend punched me hard in the stomach, my breath left my chest. He punched me again, blood came from my mouth. He punched me hard in my mouth, I wasn't sure but I thought saw a tooth fall to the ground. He punched me again. That was all it took, the pain took to much out of me as everything went black.