Regrets A Waste Of Time
That'll Be The Day
It wasn’t there, the one thing I never let out of my site was gone, I felt like I could faint. Wait, maybe Alex got it, he was taking care of me last night.
“Come in” I said to them as I walked to the den where Alex was watching television, “Alex, have you seen my journal?”
“No, last time I saw it, it was in that jacket you are holding. Hey Zack and Lizzy” said Alex, they both said hello, but I was too busy freaking.
“What are you missing?” asked Zack
“My journal, I must have lost it at your party, fuck, what if someone finds it” I said, Lizzy looked nonchalant.
“Nothing you wrote in there could be that bad” she said, I just looked at her and then to Zack.
“I just need it back” I said, Alex patted me on the shoulder.
“It’s ok, maybe it’s at Zack’s house, I am sure if he finds it he will give it back to you” said Alex, Zack nodded.
“Of course, it’s going to be ok David I promise” said Zack, if he only knew what was in that journal. The things that I had written about him in that journal, he was the one person I couldn’t have reading that journal.
Later that day, after searching my room completely and finding no journal, I couldn’t believe that I had lost it. Alex kept telling me to calm down but I just felt like everything was crashing down on me, that journal was practically my life. My cellphone beeped, I picked it up to see a text from a number I didn’t know.
Hey, it’s Zack. No journal, I am sorry. Don’t worry we will find it. I read the text over, for a second I was happy that Zack Merrick actually had my number but that was short lived my journal was gone, someone had it.
Sigh, I guess someone found it. Hopefully they will give it back to me. Thanks for looking, you’re the best. I texted back, I was hopeful, I had to be.
“I brought you some milk” said Alex walking in my room with a glass of milk, I smiled.
“Thanks Alex, what would I do without a best friend like you?” I asked, he shrugged.
‘Probably be less cool”
“Probably so, “ I said with a smile, “Zack couldn’t find my journal”
‘It will show up, I mean who would want that journal” said Alex, I shrugged.
“Maybe I will get it back Monday” I said as my cellphone dinged again, I picked it up, it was another message from Zack.
I meant to ask you earlier how you are feeling? Did you eat the Pop Tart?, I looked over at the half eaten Pop Tart on my nightstand, I wanted to forger throwing up at his party so much.
Yes, I did. I still feel so stupid about that, I texted back, I looked up to see Alex looking at me curiously.
“Who are you texting?” asked Alex, I flipped my phone so he could see it, “why do all these people text you and not me”
“Because I am cooler” I said with a smile, he smiled back at me.
“You wish, if you were as cool as you think you are, I would ask you to be in my band”
“Liar, you want me to be your manager, besides I can’t play an instrument or sing”
“That is true” said Alex with a smile
“Alex, what if someone reads my journal and tells everyone what’s in it?” I asked, he shrugged.
“David, what could be so bad in that journal? Got a hit list in it or something?” he asked with a smile, I shook my head.
“There are just things in there I don’t want people to know”
“Stuff you havent even told me? You’re best friend?”
“Alex, it’s not a matter of best friend or not, it’s a matter of my fear” I said, Alex put his hand on my shoulder.
“You don’t have to be afraid of telling me anything, I am here for you no matter what” said Alex, I looked into his eyes.
“Alex, I know we have known each other since the 5th grade. What if what I tell you changes that?”
“What if it doesn’t”
“Alex, I am” I said, I paused the word wouldn’t come out, then he just laughed.
“It’s 3 letters, David” said Alex, I looked at him shocked.
“You know?” I asked, shocked, he nodded.
“Since the 8th grade. I am you’re best friend, how could I not know?”
“Do I act gay?”
“No, you don’t act gay. I just know things about you.” said Alex, I was halfway relieved, but there was still who had my journal, “Is their more in your journal than you being gay?”
“Much more, Alex, I wrote things about someone that I like” I said looking down at my cell phone.
“Who?” asked Alex, eying me curiously, with a hint of something in his eye.
“Zack”
“Zack Merrick?” asked Alex like I had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“Yeah” I said sheepishly.
“Now it all makes sense, the reason you were so excited about the party, the way you look at him. You’re like in love with the most popular boy at the Academy” said Alex, the way he said it made me feel stupid, and he was right. Zack was straight and the most popular boy in the school, he wasn’t like me, he was always hanging around Lizzy and they were so close. I was being ridiculous. Maybe it was a good thing my journal was gone, save me from the pain of my stupidity.
“Yeah, it’s stupid, I know. It’s just a crush, probably because he is so popular” I lied, Alex look pleased with my answer.
“Wanna play some Xbox?” he asked, I shook my head.
“You can play and I will watch” I said with a forced smile on my face, Alex smiled and patted me on the shoulder, I was happy that we were still best friends, but I wasn’t happy that he made me realize something that was there all along, I was stupid.
“Come in” I said to them as I walked to the den where Alex was watching television, “Alex, have you seen my journal?”
“No, last time I saw it, it was in that jacket you are holding. Hey Zack and Lizzy” said Alex, they both said hello, but I was too busy freaking.
“What are you missing?” asked Zack
“My journal, I must have lost it at your party, fuck, what if someone finds it” I said, Lizzy looked nonchalant.
“Nothing you wrote in there could be that bad” she said, I just looked at her and then to Zack.
“I just need it back” I said, Alex patted me on the shoulder.
“It’s ok, maybe it’s at Zack’s house, I am sure if he finds it he will give it back to you” said Alex, Zack nodded.
“Of course, it’s going to be ok David I promise” said Zack, if he only knew what was in that journal. The things that I had written about him in that journal, he was the one person I couldn’t have reading that journal.
Later that day, after searching my room completely and finding no journal, I couldn’t believe that I had lost it. Alex kept telling me to calm down but I just felt like everything was crashing down on me, that journal was practically my life. My cellphone beeped, I picked it up to see a text from a number I didn’t know.
Hey, it’s Zack. No journal, I am sorry. Don’t worry we will find it. I read the text over, for a second I was happy that Zack Merrick actually had my number but that was short lived my journal was gone, someone had it.
Sigh, I guess someone found it. Hopefully they will give it back to me. Thanks for looking, you’re the best. I texted back, I was hopeful, I had to be.
“I brought you some milk” said Alex walking in my room with a glass of milk, I smiled.
“Thanks Alex, what would I do without a best friend like you?” I asked, he shrugged.
‘Probably be less cool”
“Probably so, “ I said with a smile, “Zack couldn’t find my journal”
‘It will show up, I mean who would want that journal” said Alex, I shrugged.
“Maybe I will get it back Monday” I said as my cellphone dinged again, I picked it up, it was another message from Zack.
I meant to ask you earlier how you are feeling? Did you eat the Pop Tart?, I looked over at the half eaten Pop Tart on my nightstand, I wanted to forger throwing up at his party so much.
Yes, I did. I still feel so stupid about that, I texted back, I looked up to see Alex looking at me curiously.
“Who are you texting?” asked Alex, I flipped my phone so he could see it, “why do all these people text you and not me”
“Because I am cooler” I said with a smile, he smiled back at me.
“You wish, if you were as cool as you think you are, I would ask you to be in my band”
“Liar, you want me to be your manager, besides I can’t play an instrument or sing”
“That is true” said Alex with a smile
“Alex, what if someone reads my journal and tells everyone what’s in it?” I asked, he shrugged.
“David, what could be so bad in that journal? Got a hit list in it or something?” he asked with a smile, I shook my head.
“There are just things in there I don’t want people to know”
“Stuff you havent even told me? You’re best friend?”
“Alex, it’s not a matter of best friend or not, it’s a matter of my fear” I said, Alex put his hand on my shoulder.
“You don’t have to be afraid of telling me anything, I am here for you no matter what” said Alex, I looked into his eyes.
“Alex, I know we have known each other since the 5th grade. What if what I tell you changes that?”
“What if it doesn’t”
“Alex, I am” I said, I paused the word wouldn’t come out, then he just laughed.
“It’s 3 letters, David” said Alex, I looked at him shocked.
“You know?” I asked, shocked, he nodded.
“Since the 8th grade. I am you’re best friend, how could I not know?”
“Do I act gay?”
“No, you don’t act gay. I just know things about you.” said Alex, I was halfway relieved, but there was still who had my journal, “Is their more in your journal than you being gay?”
“Much more, Alex, I wrote things about someone that I like” I said looking down at my cell phone.
“Who?” asked Alex, eying me curiously, with a hint of something in his eye.
“Zack”
“Zack Merrick?” asked Alex like I had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“Yeah” I said sheepishly.
“Now it all makes sense, the reason you were so excited about the party, the way you look at him. You’re like in love with the most popular boy at the Academy” said Alex, the way he said it made me feel stupid, and he was right. Zack was straight and the most popular boy in the school, he wasn’t like me, he was always hanging around Lizzy and they were so close. I was being ridiculous. Maybe it was a good thing my journal was gone, save me from the pain of my stupidity.
“Yeah, it’s stupid, I know. It’s just a crush, probably because he is so popular” I lied, Alex look pleased with my answer.
“Wanna play some Xbox?” he asked, I shook my head.
“You can play and I will watch” I said with a forced smile on my face, Alex smiled and patted me on the shoulder, I was happy that we were still best friends, but I wasn’t happy that he made me realize something that was there all along, I was stupid.