Drop Dead.

My crush on Oliver didn’t really accumulate, and for that, I was happy. I didn’t need the aggravation of word getting around about how I felt about Oliver, followed by Melanie finding out, and followed by a huge blow-out between the two of us. Unfortunately, secrets don’t stay hidden. Tom had some kind of telepathic power because one afternoon, while we were sitting on the couch in the living room, he blurted it out that he knew. Luckily, Mel and Oliver were out for the day so it was just the two of us.

“I’ve always known, Char,” he said when I asked him how he knew. “Jus’ the way yeh look at ‘im tells everythin’.” I looked down at my lap and wondered if Melanie could see it as well. Or, even worse, if Oliver could see it.

“I don’t think ‘e knows, love,” he reassured me, sensing my worry. I breathed out an inaudible sigh and twirled my hair around my fingers.

“I don’t know what to do, Tom. He’s with Melanie,” I said quietly, my eyes searching the floor. Tom reached over and put his hand on my leg and my gaze slid to his.

“There’s realleh nothin’ yeh can do, love. I ‘ate to say it, but it’s the truth. ‘e’s with Mel and as far as I know, they’re proper happeh together. All yeh can realleh do is hope this crush goes away.”

“I was afraid yeh would say that,” I muttered, sinking lower into the couch. I shoved my hands in my hoodie pockets and sighed heavily. “It’s just hard to stop liking someone, yeh know?”

Tom nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I know.” Silence fell over us as I stared at the blank television and Tom stared at his feet. His elbows were resting on his thighs and his head was bowed. If he hadn’t spoken, I would have thought he’d fallen asleep.

We sat in silence for a while until I decided to distract myself by turning on the television, although I didn’t pay much attention to it. Instead, I was lost in my head. If Tom could clearly see my feelings for his brother, couldn’t Melanie, being my best friend? And Tom said he didn’t think Oliver knew, but who knows? He could be ignoring his knowledge of my feelings because of Melanie, because he didn’t want to stir up trouble. Besides, even if he knew, he’d never like me back. Melanie was beautiful, the Jennifer Aniston between us. Me? I was some washed-up, drug-addicted actress. I didn’t compare to Mel. Her personality was brighter, her hair was blonder, and her style was more chic. Oliver would never choose me over her.

This thought put me in a severely upset mood and Tom, sensing my distress, offered to go out and buy ice cream, to which I laughed, but declined.

“I’ll be fine, Tom,” I reassured him. He gave me a doubtful look but didn’t push it. He left soon after, and almost immediately after that, Melanie called me.

“I won’t be comin’ home tonight. I’m stayin’ at Olleh’s, she told me. It wasn’t a big deal; if I was in trouble, she was right across the way from me. However, I hardly thought that she would come to my rescue, being too occupied with Oliver.

So I went to bed early that night in my quiet apartment. I didn’t like it; it was too quiet. I would have preferred to hear Melanie and Oliver in the room over than lie in total silence. I cringed, though, when a mental image popped up in my head. I had to stop thinking of Melanie and Oliver in a mess of sheets and limbs.

However, that image of a shirtless Oliver in my kitchen trying to make coffee wouldn’t leave my head. Now that I didn’t mind in the least.