Sunflowers and Tulips

Braedon's POV

Fifteen minutes had passed since I snapped at James, and all I could think about was how much I had hurt him. How in the world could I have been so cruel to the most innocent thing in the world? I mean, at first glance, James looked like an extremely intimidating and tough guy who wouldn’t take any nonsense. But, if you got to know him like I did, he was a loveable drama king who would do anything to make you happy…and I just crushed him.

God, I’m a bastard.

Warm, sticky tears started to flow down my face and I realized I was crying. But why would I cry? Oh yeah, that’s right. Because I’m a horrible human being who deserves the pain and suffering I got. I just practically destroyed the only thing in life that I actually loved liked. How am I going to fix this? My emotions were everywhere. At first it was complete, one-hundred percent guilt, and now I’m just a mixture of rage, guilt, and sadness. What is going on?

“…Braedon?” a deep voice said.

I looked up to see my dad, his brow creased in was what obviously a mixture of anger and worry. “Yes?” I sniffled pathetically, wiping my nose. At least I can move that…

“What the hell happened? I saw James passing through the waiting room and I saw him crying, but when I went to go talk to him, all he did was just wail like a baby and run…well…limp out of the hospital even though the nurses tried to get him back,” he replied. His voice sounded steely, like he knew I did something I wasn’t supposed to.

Shaking my head, I looked up at him, trying to sort out my thoughts. No works would come to my mind to justify what I did to my poor Girasole. How was I supposed to explain that I basically just broke his heart into little pieces and stomped on it? And now that I think about it…I’m really heartless…

“Dammit, Braedon!” he snapped, slamming his hand against the wall. “You’ve only been awake for a day and you managed to ruin the life of a young man who’s been your best friend since practically day one. Tell me what happened right now or else I will disown you.”

Judging by the evident irritation in his voice, I knew he wasn’t joking when he said he would disown me, so I plucked up my courage and said, “I…uh…he told me he loved me, Dad.”

Dad interrupted me by throwing his hands up in the air and exclaiming, “Finally!”

“Uh…what?”

He waved his hand, dismissing me. “Nothing. Continue.”

I hesitated, but went on anyways. “So I kind of messed up and…basically told him he couldn’t be my friend anymore since he loved me.”

“WHAT,” he basically screamed, his face turning slowly red. “Would you mind telling me why the hell you did that? Hm?”

“…Because I’m not gay, and I’m afraid of that…”

A choking sound erupted from my father’s throat and I froze. Was he really crying? My question was answered when he said, “Son…I have something to tell you…I’m gay.” Instantly, my heart dropped to my stomach. I couldn’t believe it. My dad was gay? Impossible. When I voiced my thoughts out loud to him, it was as if he wanted to slap me. “You’re a fucking idiot. Do you know that? I can’t believe you! How dare you insult me like that when I raised you and loved you. Now you’re basically saying you’re going to toss me away as a father because I’m gay? You’re such a hypocrite, Braedon!”

“What do you mean I’m a hypocrite!? I just found out that my best friend is in love with me and my dad is gay all within thirty minutes of each other!”

There was an awkward, tense silence as he just looked at me, glaring. Then, he broke it by saying, “You’re honestly that stupid?”

“…What?”

“Son, you’re gay,” he stated simply, looking at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I immediately recoiled and shouted, “No way! I can’t be! I’m perfectly straight!”

He snorted, mocking me. “Yah. As straight as a fucking rainbow. You’re as gay as me. Trust me. I’m the experienced gay guy, I got the gay-dar.”

The more he said it, the more I started to realize that I actually kind of was gay. I mean. Sleeping with all those girls, being a man-whore, getting attention…it was all because I was ashamed to admit to myself that I was gay. I was creating my own cover-up the whole time James was falling for me, and I was too blind to see that…Oh shit. I’m in love with my best friend and I didn’t even know it.

“FUCK!” I screamed, realization, slapping my hand against my forehead.

“Uh…yah. You’re stupid, like I said before. Now what are you going to do since you practically ruined James’ life?”

I looked up at him expectantly, trying to find an answer, but all he did was shake his head and walk out of the room. He was right…what am I going to do?