Sunflowers and Tulips

Braedon's POV

“But…what does this mean? I’m not understanding, Mom,” I said frantically, shaking my hands in the air while she still faced forward. I knew why I can’t see her, I just didn’t understand it.

She sighed, making her shoulders shrug up and down. “Honey, I know that you want to see me. I know that I want to see you and hold you and kiss you. But, we can’t. You’re going to stay in this limbo forever. Even worse, if you die while you’re in limbo, you’re gone forever. It’s something you would not want to do; it’s even worse than Hell.”

I took this into consideration, then replied, “Wait…why are you here if this is my limbo?”

“That’s exactly it. It’s your limbo. A person’s limbo is their own world. Their own creation. Think of it like MCR’s Black Parade. It’s kind of like that, but for people who are in limbo and are not completely dead. It’s their world.” She exaggerated every detail, the tone in her voice kind of hardening.

I sighed, then said, “I take it you don’t like that idea…”

“Of course not! I want to be with the people I care about. Not here. Dead.”

A look of shock covered my face and my jaw dropped. “What!? You can’t be dead! You ran off with that bastard and you’re supposed to be living the high life! You shouldn’t be dead!”

Her shoulders shook and I realized she was crying. Sniffles and hiccups were all I heard as I stood there, helpless. I know I couldn’t touch her; it would ruin me. No matter how much I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her, I couldn’t. And it killed me. (Figuratively, of course) “Momma…how did it happen?”

“The…the jerk beat me to death. He just…grabbed me and kicked me and punched me. I was in a world of hurt, so I just…let go. I’m so sorry, honey. I feel so bad. I’m so sorry I couldn’t watch you grow up and live.”

I looked at the back of her head. The beautiful, blonde hair that flowed down her back was all I could see, sadly. I wanted to see her face. I wanted to so bad. But, I started thinking. And the more I thought, the more I realized that I didn’t want to touch her or see her. She was ugly because she left us. She left me and Dad and she didn’t look back. I shouldn’t see her. I don’t care about her…

I never did…

“No. I don’t forgive you, Mother. You’re not my mom. You’ve never been my mom. All you’ve done is given me a great relationship with my father because you decided to be a bitch and leave him! You’ve never cared about me and I sure as hell don’t want you to start now. So you know what? You need to go fuck yourself. You’re a horrible woman and it’s good that your dead because then you can’t crush any other boy’s life.” I screamed and yelled, letting warm tears cascade down my face. No one noticed, but even then, I wouldn’t care. I needed to let all my anger and frustration out.

She cried even harder, but I still didn’t care. She made my life (and my dad’s life) a living hell, so she doesn’t deserve my pity.
“I’m sor-” she started to say something, but I cut her off.

“No. No apologies. I’m not even going to let you fucking apologize. You need to burn in hell, bitch.”

I walked away, leaving her sitting there alone and crying. The playground was the closest thing there, so I went towards that, forgetting that Mini-Me was there with my his friends. The swings felt like a good option for me, so I sat on one and slowly rocked back and forth, trying to get my head together. I sighed, shaking my head, and closed my eyes.

Then, I felt a presence near me, so I opened my eyes only to find a certain little black-haired boy right in front of my face. His wide, leafy-green eyes looked up at my through his dark eyelashes and I couldn’t help but smile at his innocence.

“Are you okay?” he said, tilting his head a little bit sideways.

I shook my head and replied, “No…not really.”

His face curled into one of distaste and said, “You shouldn’t be sad. I’ll make you happy!”

“Oh yea? And how will you do that?” I teased half-heartedly.

He thought for a minute, sticking his tongue out in the adorable way James does when he’s in deep-thought. Then, his face brightened out and he smiled, showing his perfect white teeth. “I’m gonna kiss you!”

I reeled back, shocked for a second, then chuckled. “Okay, fine. Lay one on me!” I moved my head further towards him and pointed to my cheek, smiling.

In return, he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. His warm, moist lips felt like they belonged there. It was magical. Even though he was a little boy, I realized that even then I loved him.

Suddenly, I felt like I was being sucked away from him. My arms tried to wrap around little-James’ short body, but he slipped from my grasp. I screamed as my body was lifted into the air and twirled around. It felt like I was being pulled apart from every direction; I hated it.

As I was lifted higher and higher into the sky, all I could make out was James’ wide smile beaming up at me and his small hand waving goodbye.

Then…I opened my eyes.