It Takes More

Three Years. That’s how long it has been since I’ve seen him. He never once came to visit when they were home, no that was just Jack, my reliable, stable, and trustworthy brother. No matter how long they were gone, he always managed to check in, and check up, on me. But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. It would probably make more sense if I told you the whole story.

It was the day after graduation. My brother and my boyfriend, who just so happened to be my brother’s best friend, had just graduated High School. We had had the normal post graduation celebrations. We made the rounds to the various parties being thrown before the four of us, including my best friend Marla, who just so happened to be dating Jack, ended up back at Jack's and mine's house. We stayed up all night reminiscing about the past and talking about the future, the near future in particular.

Jack and Alex were leaving the next day. They, along with two other friends, were going on tour with their fairly newly formed band that they had dubbed All Time Low. The four boys were packing themselves in a van and driving of into the sun. It was bittersweet for both Marla and me. Of course we would miss our boys incredibly. Marla and Jack had become extremely serious over the year that they had been dating as Alex and I somehow became even closer as well over the past year. We had only been dating for five months but it seemed like a lifetime, probably because I had known him for a lifetime; mine. But it wasn’t all sad. We knew why they were leaving, to follow their dreams. Each one of those boys loved to play their instruments more than anything, and I knew Alex felt the most at ease in front of a microphone.

Around noon that next day, us girls watched the boys pack up the van with their bags and the trailer with their instruments and equipment. We sat on the curb, each silently telling ourselves not to think about what it would be like when they left. This was going to be the first time, ever, that Jack wasn’t by my side, Alex too, for that matter. I had always had one if not both of them around at all times. I never once had to contemplate doing something without their company. At the time I had wished for a moment away from their over-protective, watchful eyes. But now, I was dreading it. Be careful what you wish for, right?

We all said our goodbyes, everyone promising to text or call frequently. I saved Alex for last, knowing that aside from my brother he was the one I would miss the most. We stood in front of each other just watching the other’s expression. I broke first, jumping into arms that instinctively wrapped around my waist. We stood like that, caught in our embrace, tears flowing from my eyes onto his tee shirt, for minutes. Eventually, we pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes. After a lifetime of memories, and five months of dating, I love you wasn’t hard to say. Those three words were easy. It was goodbye that got caught in my throat. It was that one word that was impossible to say.

“Before you know it, we’ll all be home. I’ll never forget you, ever. You know that right?” I nodded silently, knowing that Alex and Jack could never turn their back on me.

Too bad they broke my faith in them. No I can’t say that. Jack would never dream of leaving me behind. He kept tabs, like I knew he would, and visited often, as I expected. Alex though, he never came back. I held on to his parting words, I’ll never forget you. That’s what got me through each and every day that past without a phone call, without a text message, without a visit. I held onto those words for two years before I realized it was a lie. He had forgotten me.