Papercut

Watching and waiting, I’m yours for the taking.

As we entered the apartment, I could hear everyone still in the living room, causing me to drop Josh’s hand. He gave me a weird look, and I shot my eyes in the direction of the living room. He formed his mouth in an ‘o’ shape, before motioning for me to follow him.

“Jeez, did you guys smoke the whole pack out there or what?” Brian asked causing me to laugh.

“Nah, we went on a walk,” I said falling into the familiar Lovesac, “But how have you guys been? I haven’t seen you in what feels like forever.”

They all dove into stories about recent tours, and I smiled while I felt a pang of jealousy on the inside. They were living their dreams, and completely happy with their lives, while I had been held back by my now ex-boyfriend. When they asked about my life, I told them almost everything about it. I told them about my boring 40 hour work week, my hectic college schedule and of course the abuse. They all listened intently, and it felt nice to be talking to people who actually cared.

“I feel bad for doing this, but is it okay if I go to bed?” I said stifling a yawn, “We can catch up more another day, deal?”

“I should probably get home anyways, there’s a family reunion type thing tomorrow,” Brian said jumping off of the couch.

The others all agreed it was time to head home, and I gave them all a big hug. I walked towards Josh’s room, and could feel the eyes lingering on my back. I chose to ignore them, and quickly used the restroom while waiting for Josh. I walked out of the small, attached bathroom, and was drying the last few drops of water from my hands.

Josh had already managed to change into a pair of shorts, and was standing shirtless at the end of the bed. I padded over to him, and snaked my arms around him, loving the familiarity.

“Thank you for everything,” I mumbled against his chest.

“I’d do anything for you Payton,” he mumbled into my hair as his arms dangled on my waist.

I pulled away from him a little, and couldn’t help but to stare up at his face. His white hair was going in every direction, and was offset by his dark blonde eyebrows. His nose wasn’t perfect, but the bump on it gave it character that I was strangely attracted to. While studying his face, I didn’t even realize that our lips were moving closer together.

The kiss went from innocent, to heated rather quick, and we were soon backing up to the bed. We softly fell back onto the bed, and Josh guided me up to the top without breaking the kiss. He slid his hand under my shirt, and pinned my hip down as he trailed kisses down my neck. I squirmed under his touch, and I could feel him smirk against my skin.

“Are you sure about this?” Josh asked hovering over me after all articles of clothing had been shed.

“Just be gentle,” I said before kissing him softly.

=======

Like I asked, Josh had been gentle. He made sure I was comfortable, and it was the first time in a long time that I actually found myself enjoying sex. He rolled off of me, and we both laid on our backs catching our breath. I couldn’t help but to look over and Josh with a small smile of thanks. He returned it, and pulled me into his body, wrapping his arms around me.

As I was drifting off to sleep I couldn’t help but to think that I had made a mistake by sleeping with him. He was one of the few people I had left in my life, and I had possibly jeopardized that in a fit of passion. I shook the thoughts from my head, and willed myself to fall asleep in his arms.