I Still Remember

I woke up alittle while later to find that I was still in the cornfield cover in a blanket and Marcs arm was around me. I grab my phone and look at the time. 9:45 PM. The bridal party wasn’t going to be back until midnight. All though I did see the following on my phone screen:

Sydney: 3 Missed Calls
Jordan: 2 Missed Calls
Jared: 5 Missed Calls

Sydney: PICK UP YOUR DAMN PHONE!

Jordan: WHY ARENT YOU ANSWERING THE PHONE!?

Sydney: Oh my god this bitch got strippers…SHE DOESN’T DESERVE STRIPPERS!

Jared: I WUUBBBB YOU FUTURE SISTER IN LAWSIES! WHEN YOU STOP THA WEDDINGGAHH, MAKE PRUDDY BABIES WITH MY BROSKI!!

I throw the phone to the side and looked under the covers to see I was still naked and Marc still had his arm around me. I look up at the sky. Marc and I had sex…again. This time it was sober and felt right. It was like we were made for each other. I turn to my side to see Marc still sleeping. I just wanted to call him my own, was that too much to ask for?

I hear a groan coming out of Marc and see his eyes open. The smile forms on to his face. It was the first time since the wedding dress incident I saw him smile, a true genuine smile. “Hi,” I say as he kisses me.

“We had sex, didn’t we?”
“Yes, we did.”
“Great…and I’m getting married in two days.”
“You’re the one who wanted it,” I say, getting up and getting dressed.
“You’re mad aren’t you?”
“No, but I do think I know what your problem is.”
“And that would be…”
“You’re having second thoughts?”

Marc is getting dressed and trying to think of an answer for my question. Deep inside of me, I was hoping to God he was going to tell me he was going to call of the wedding because he knew deep down he and I were made for eachother. He walks over to me and kisses me. He pulls away and looks at the ground. “I made a promise, I’m going to keep it.”

Was Marc Staal fucken kidding with me right now?

I mean, I understand he made a promise to get married, but we just had fucken sex, therefore, he cheated on the bitch. He told me he loved me countless times during the past month and yet, he still had the nerve to tell me he was still going to marry Francesca. I throw my hands in the air. I’m so fucken pissed off right now. “So that’s it? We’re back to where we were before?”

“Where we before Gina? I don’t think we were anywhere?”
“Yes we where Marc, we were somewhere. You told me you still loved me yet your going to marry her? Marc, it doesn’t work like that?”
“Gina, I made a promise to a girl and I intend to follow through with that.”
“Marc, admit it, you liked what we just did. You wanted it!”
“I did want it, but I can’t just call off a wedding if I don’t want too.
“Marc, you’re retarded! She’s a dumbass. You’re marrying a dumbass and I know why!”
“Oh why don’t you tell me then Gina.”
“Because you don’t know what the hell you want!”
“Oh now you’ve done it Gina, I’m leaving,” he yells, walking away.

I chase him out of the cornfield. I wasn’t going to give up this easily. I was going to prove my goddamn point to this man. I don’t care if he didn’t listen now and I had to object at the damn wedding, I was willing to do that if I was going to win the man over. God, this sucks, I never thought I had to do this. “YOURE A DUMBASS MARC! YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT BUT YOU DON’T WANT TO LISTEN!” I yell as he walks to his truck.

“Shut the fuck up Gina,” he yells back, opening his truck door.
“Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up because you know that I’m right,” I yell at him, closing the door.
“Why don’t you just admit that I’m right and you’re the dumbshit.”
“Because it’s not true.”
“You know damn well its true. You’re only marrying her because you’re afraid of being alone. Sydney called you out on it.”
“Oh don’t pull Sydney’s psychological bullshit on me!”
“Marc, why is it that no matter how much I tell you that I still love you, you’re going to get married? Why don’t you tell me that!”

Marc isn’t saying anything because he doesn’t have an answer. He knows for a fact I’m right, but he’s going to try and deny it, because that’s just how he is. He’s always been like that. He tries to open the door, but I hold the door with my hand. “Get you’re fucken hand off the damn door,” he tells me.

“Answer my fucken question.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, I could never live with you.”
“I maybe the pain in the ass but you’re a stubborn asshole, who can also be a pain in the ass, but I could live with that.”
“You see, all we do is fight!”
“Because we’re like everyone, that’s what everyone does, they fight! Not only are we fighting with eachother, but we’re fighting with ourselves. We’re fighting the demons inside of us. You’re brother taught us not to be scared of them, which is why we’re fighting them. You, however, you’re fucken scared of them!”
“I’m not scared of anything.”
“No, you’re scared of a lot of things Marc. You’re scared of getting hurt, being alone, dying alone, you’re afraid of everything. You come off as a tough guy but you’re actually a pussy! Admit it.”
“You know why I’m scared? Because you shut me out of your life! You slammed the door in my fucken face, you kicked me out of your life, and I can’t be with you because I’m afraid youll do that again!”
“You did the exact same thing to me, and do you see me scared?”

Marc isn’t saying anything now. He knows I’m right, he knows for once, he’s wrong and he can’t make a bullshit answer to prove I’m wrong. I knew I had to try to talk him out of getting married now or I was going to have to sit in a church and watch him marry the bitch. “Marc, please, don’t marry her.”

“Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because I love you, you dumbass, that’s why.”
“Gina…I’m getting married on Friday, and that’s that.”
“Fine! Get married then! See if I fucken care!”
“Maybe I will.”
“FINE!”

I watch Marc drive away after our outburst. I sit down on the front porch and watch him drive away. I don’t even know where he is going, I don’t even want to know. My attempt to talk him out of getting married failed. I cried as I looked at my last two options:

1. Watch him get married
2. Tell him infront of 300 people in a church why he shouldn’t get married.

I had two days to make a decision, and this was going to be the hardest decision of my life.