These Are the Fast Times

Lila

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“Lila?” a voice comes from the other side of my door, accompanied by a soft rapping.

“What?” I groan back, lifting my head in confusion. I feel a strange shifting under me, then I freeze.

Shit.

Gabe's still here, sleeping. I haven't told Victoria about us, because I know she'd freak out. Then she'd tell Melly, and Melly would freak, and everyone knows that Melly can't keep her mouth shut, so then everyone in the city of Chicago would know by the end of the week that I've been sleeping with Gabe Saporta.

I look at the clock, realizing we've overslept; Gabe was supposed to be out of here two hours ago, before Victoria came home.

“It's important,” she says, and before I can tell her to wait a second, the door slowly swings open, allowing me only enough time to cover myself with the blankets. My heart starts pounding erratically, because I know her reaction will not be the best wake up call.

I swear my heart stops beating altogether when I see who's in the doorway.

Imagine a rough charcoal sketch.

Start with the easiest part.

Me.

Me clutching the blankets up to my neck, my face partially hidden by shadows. Not much detail necessary.

Now, picture, next to me, Gabe. My fuck buddy, my friend, my ex, my roommate's bandmate, my whatever - the look on his face priceless in the bad kind of way, startled awake but still half asleep and trying to piece together what the hell is going on.

That's the easy part of the sketch, the blurry, hazy details in shadows you don't notice at first.

Then there's where it gets complicated.

Victoria, the picture of disbelief itself, the light from the living room highlighting her wide eyes and gaping mouth. One hand still partially raised, frozen in the air from when she pushed the door open.

Pan over to her right, the one part of the picture that doesn't belong.

“What the fuck, Lila?” he shouts, his face contorting in anger as soon as he sees Gabe. “What in the fucking hell, Lila?!”

My mouth is slightly open in speechless shock, and I try to say something, but start choking on my words instead.

Butcher storms out while Victoria and Gabe stay still and silent. I stay frozen for a second longer before jamming on a pair of shorts and a hoodie from the floor. I follow him down the hall in record timing.

I start to feel sick, because out of all the men in New York City, I have to pick the only one I have a history with to fuck. And why is Butcher even here in the first place?

“Andy, please-” I catch up to him mere seconds before he gets in the elevator.

“Please what, Lila?” he demands, holding the elevator open with one hand but not stepping completely into it just yet. “Please fucking what?”

“I never meant-”

“For me to find out?” he snaps, and I suddenly get defensive.

We're not even together anymore. I haven't done anything wrong.

“What the fuck do you even care?” I counter, abruptly angry, and he flinches from the fury building in my eyes. “You were the one who broke up with me, remember?”
He backs away slowly, half in the elevator, just like he's only half in my life anymore.

“Over the fucking phone,” I continue, choking back a sob. Suddenly, my eyes are wet and I'm pathetic. “I thought we…we were more than that, Andy. Why would you do that to me?” I wipe my eyes, embarrassed by the furious tears coursing down my cheeks. “You're supposed to be my best friend.”

He watches me wordlessly, an expression I can't read on his face, and all I know is that he's
partially in shock from my tears, because I don't fucking cry over boys.

“You should get back to Gabe,” he finally says, almost silently. He pulls something from his pocket and hands it to me. “This is for you,” he says, still barely audible. He gets into the elevator and the doors slide closed before I can do anything.

I head back down the hall, but can't bring myself to go inside just yet. I sink to the floor, leaning against the wall, face pressed into my knees while I sob quietly and clutch the cd he gave me, his and the guys' debut album, personally delivered.

I don't know how much time passes, but the next thing I realize is that I'm crying into Gabe's shoulder and his arm is around me and Victoria's on my other side, holding my hand.