‹ Prequel: Confessions
Status: Complete!
These Are the Fast Times
Feel Like Rain: Part 4
Lila
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I walk into the venue with my nerves jumping around in my stomach in a way that almost makes me feel nauseous. There’s a decent-sized crowd, but I stay slightly aloof out of anxiety.
I wish Melly were here like she said she’d be, but she had to work late. She said she’d meet me here, but I’m starting to think she was only saying that so I’d show up. She wouldn’t even tell me exactly which one of the guys demanded that I come tonight. I don’t dare to hope that Butcher was the one who asked for me.
They’ve already started their set when I arrive. I know it doesn’t help my emotional sanity or anything, but I catch myself staring at him, wondering if he has any idea that I’m here.
He doesn’t notice, but during a break between songs, I make accidental eye contact with Sisky, who immediately nudges William in order to mutter something to him.
The nerves in my stomach being to tie themselves into knots, because I don’t know what’s going on.
I wish Melly were here.
I wish Victoria had come back with me from New York for spring break.
“Alright, that’s the last song of the set,” William announces to the crowd after a couple more songs. A few people towards the front voice their displeasure. “I have an idea, though. Who wants to hear a song our drummer wrote?”
I catch the subtle glare of confusion Butcher shoots at William, but the crowd cheers in response, so he doesn’t have much of a choice. William ignores him and nods once to Michael, who pulls his acoustic off a nearby rack.
They’ve obviously planned this without his consent.
Butcher stands solemnly still, frozen for a few seconds while Sisky, Mike, and William leave the stage.
Michael begins strumming the acoustic and Butcher has no choice but to step up to the mic. The crowd gets quiet.
“Close your eyes.
The dark outside can't hurt you,
And I’ll never desert your bedside…”
My first thought is that Michael’s playing is so pretty, and Melly’s lucky to have him, to have a relationship where everything doesn’t get blown out of proportion by stupid things.
“So close them tight;
The stars are so glad that they've found you,
And on the blankets that surround you,
They shine their light.
They shine their light…”
My second thought is that Butcher actually has a decent voice, and I don’t know why he doesn’t write more often.
“So rest your head,
And I'll be watching from the doorway,
As you slip into a perfect, peaceful sleep...”
The rest of my thoughts are a jumbled mess of realizing how much I miss him, both as my best friend and boyfriend, and trying to decipher what he’s saying, and wanting to cry some more, and feeling stupid for wanting to cry.
“And morning will come in all its simple glory,
And you will find the light…”
I will not cry.
“And I will be there,
Standing in your shadow,
Knowing that you once were mine.
All mine…
My baby…”
There’s a choking noise in my throat and I vaguely recognize it as a suppressed sob.
“My baby…
My girl…
My baby…”
That’s when he sees me, standing there in the back, me frozen to the spot I’m standing, speechless and tears trying to push themselves out of my eyes.
His eyes briefly widen in complete shock but he looks away just as quickly.
He stalks off stage, leaving Michael there awkwardly alone and strumming the last few chords.
I rush for the exit, hailing a cab to take me to Melly’s apartment.
I try to wait until I get there, but I start crying in the cab.
And I’m embarrassed. I thought all the tears were out of my system a few weeks ago, but seeing him again…
I barely have enough cash to pay the taxi driver, but I manage and make my way to the door.
Melly opens the door, looking confused until she sees my face.
“Lila, what happened?” she immediately asks, letting me inside. I just shake my head and she immediately hugs me.
“Did you know?” I manage to choke out after a few minutes.
“Know what?” she asks absently.
“About the song,” I say, wiping my face and pulling away from her.
“What song?” she asks, furrowing her eyebrows and sounding genuinely confused.
I just shake my head and wipe my eyes again.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I walk into the venue with my nerves jumping around in my stomach in a way that almost makes me feel nauseous. There’s a decent-sized crowd, but I stay slightly aloof out of anxiety.
I wish Melly were here like she said she’d be, but she had to work late. She said she’d meet me here, but I’m starting to think she was only saying that so I’d show up. She wouldn’t even tell me exactly which one of the guys demanded that I come tonight. I don’t dare to hope that Butcher was the one who asked for me.
They’ve already started their set when I arrive. I know it doesn’t help my emotional sanity or anything, but I catch myself staring at him, wondering if he has any idea that I’m here.
He doesn’t notice, but during a break between songs, I make accidental eye contact with Sisky, who immediately nudges William in order to mutter something to him.
The nerves in my stomach being to tie themselves into knots, because I don’t know what’s going on.
I wish Melly were here.
I wish Victoria had come back with me from New York for spring break.
“Alright, that’s the last song of the set,” William announces to the crowd after a couple more songs. A few people towards the front voice their displeasure. “I have an idea, though. Who wants to hear a song our drummer wrote?”
I catch the subtle glare of confusion Butcher shoots at William, but the crowd cheers in response, so he doesn’t have much of a choice. William ignores him and nods once to Michael, who pulls his acoustic off a nearby rack.
They’ve obviously planned this without his consent.
Butcher stands solemnly still, frozen for a few seconds while Sisky, Mike, and William leave the stage.
Michael begins strumming the acoustic and Butcher has no choice but to step up to the mic. The crowd gets quiet.
“Close your eyes.
The dark outside can't hurt you,
And I’ll never desert your bedside…”
My first thought is that Michael’s playing is so pretty, and Melly’s lucky to have him, to have a relationship where everything doesn’t get blown out of proportion by stupid things.
“So close them tight;
The stars are so glad that they've found you,
And on the blankets that surround you,
They shine their light.
They shine their light…”
My second thought is that Butcher actually has a decent voice, and I don’t know why he doesn’t write more often.
“So rest your head,
And I'll be watching from the doorway,
As you slip into a perfect, peaceful sleep...”
The rest of my thoughts are a jumbled mess of realizing how much I miss him, both as my best friend and boyfriend, and trying to decipher what he’s saying, and wanting to cry some more, and feeling stupid for wanting to cry.
“And morning will come in all its simple glory,
And you will find the light…”
I will not cry.
“And I will be there,
Standing in your shadow,
Knowing that you once were mine.
All mine…
My baby…”
There’s a choking noise in my throat and I vaguely recognize it as a suppressed sob.
“My baby…
My girl…
My baby…”
That’s when he sees me, standing there in the back, me frozen to the spot I’m standing, speechless and tears trying to push themselves out of my eyes.
His eyes briefly widen in complete shock but he looks away just as quickly.
He stalks off stage, leaving Michael there awkwardly alone and strumming the last few chords.
I rush for the exit, hailing a cab to take me to Melly’s apartment.
I try to wait until I get there, but I start crying in the cab.
And I’m embarrassed. I thought all the tears were out of my system a few weeks ago, but seeing him again…
I barely have enough cash to pay the taxi driver, but I manage and make my way to the door.
Melly opens the door, looking confused until she sees my face.
“Lila, what happened?” she immediately asks, letting me inside. I just shake my head and she immediately hugs me.
“Did you know?” I manage to choke out after a few minutes.
“Know what?” she asks absently.
“About the song,” I say, wiping my face and pulling away from her.
“What song?” she asks, furrowing her eyebrows and sounding genuinely confused.
I just shake my head and wipe my eyes again.
♠ ♠ ♠
For Inaprallis, since you're basically my audience for this story and always comment, I'll just start waiting to see you're caught up and update asap when I can. I have pretty much the rest of the story planned if not written already. [seven-ish chapters left, I think]Oh, and the song I used because it fit so well with the Butcher/Lila situation is here if you want a listen: Lila by Bright Eyes.