‹ Prequel: The Fifth World

The Fifth World 2

A Helping Hand

Bo: Winslet benches Derek but only till the end of practice because he knows that the team needs Derek if they want to win the rest of their games for the season. Once practice ends the boys head off to the change rooms. Jonathan comes to me before he follows his teammates.

"Hey," he says to me, "I didn't think I'd see you for the rest of the day."

I nod my head, "Yeah, well, I thought about it. I'm sorry for being so rude earlier... I just, I can't understand how you could be so concerned about him. I mean, after what he did and just the person he is. He isn't a good person, Jonathan, he doesn't deserve sympathy."

"He's had a harder life than anyone I've ever known, Bo. There are reasons why he is like this."

I feel that anger again, as well as tears forming in my eyes. I grit my teeth together as my hand flies to the neckline of my shirt and pulls it hard so Jonathan can see the part of my chest I usually keep hidden. Jonathan tries to resist looking but he fails and as his eyes wander they come across the reason why I have almost ripped my shirt open. The both of us look down at the circular scar; round and rigid and shiny.

"What happened?" he finally asks nervously.

"His cigarette happened," I hiss at Jonathan.

Okay, I'm angry. Quite angry too.

"Jesus Christ."

I shake my head and breathe out heavily before looking up at Jonathan and sighing. I don't say anything but it is something in my eyes that tells him I am going and he accepts it. We both part ways, silently, without affection. I consider going to class but change my mind. Something holds me back by the football field, mainly by the boys change rooms... and I know that it isn't Jonathan. I stand with my back up against the wall beside the door as boys walk by me, not even noticing I am there. I quite enjoy that. I don't want to be noticed. Hell, if Jonathan sees me he will think I am waiting for him. Boys after boys leave and finally the person I am waiting for exits with his chest bare, his shirt hanging over a shoulder and his hair cold and wet from a shower. My hand wraps around Derek's arm and I yank him as hard as I can to move with me but he barely even moves.

"What the hell?" he hisses at me.

He isn't angry at me and at this moment I don't find him frightening. I just need to speak to him, no matter how much I hate him. He turns around to me and stares at me with an expression that is too hard to read. I have my suspicions of this boy... of Derek... and I think that if I am correct, it could explain everything.

"What do you want, Bo?" he asks me, he is clearly not pleased by my confrontation.

I try to open my mouth and speak the words but something stops me... if I say it, explain it or even ask him... he will think I am crazy. I try to think of another way I can possibly find the truth. Without another thought I drop my books and bags to the ground and throw a very hard punch straight at Derek's face. I miss, even though I shouldn't, because that punch is perfection and suddenly, in a blur, I am pushed up against the change room wall, my arms pinned to my sides. Derek stands in front of me, his entire body right there, his hands at my wrists holding me captive and his face right in front of mine. I breathe out heavily. I can feel the anger in him but I can also feel the fear.

"What are you?" I whisper as he holds me there.

He stares at me, the look in his eyes so afraid and now... changing to nothing but confusion. His fingers slowly release me and the circulation finally resumes running through to my hands. Derek takes a step back and closes his eyes for a second or two as he tries to grip what he has just done. I anxiously run my hands over my clothes and then look back up at him. Now I am frightened.

I look at him up and down and see how firm his muscles are... the thickness of his legs, his arms... and the way his hands tremble. He moves his hands to his face and he breathes out a large breath before running his fingers through his dark hair. Finally, he reveals his face to me and his eyes stare straight at me with a look of despair.

"What are you?" I ask him again.

I try to sound strong but midway through my sentence my voice breaks. I don't think I have ever felt this afraid in a long time and somehow it is comforting - a reminder of the feeling I felt many times in the Fifth World. It is the way the adrenalin pumps through your body, the sense of life, the feelings, the emotions... I cannot explain it.

"Stop asking me that," he says to me with gritted teeth.

I can tell I am angering him very, very much. I know I should not be because it would not be wise but I can't help it. If Derek is what I believe he could be... then it means... a lot. Doesn't it?
I take a cautious step towards him and my eyes stare at his hands... they are trembling uncontrollably. I breathe out a heavy breath, again, because I am very afraid of even being near him. A couple of my fingers touch his right hand and soon my entire hand holds his. It is not a sign of sympathy or love... it is just comfort. I can feel the tears erupting in my eyes, for the third time today I think, not because of sadness or anger but because of how frightened I am. If Cynric were here he would be very upset - he would not want me putting myself in any danger at all and look what I am doing.

"I know what you are," I whisper to Derek.

For a moment there I feel himself give in... I feel his hand respond to mine and during his first moment of need his fingers wrap around my hand, not hard either but gently, softly, and Derek begins to finally show some emotion that is not anger. Tears form in his eyes and his face falls a little. Suddenly he flings my hand from his and tries to control himself. Derek does not like showing emotions, especially to someone like me. I step back quickly and gasp as Derek begins to yell.

"You don't know anything!" he screams, "You know nothing about me! I'm a freak! A freak! Stay away from me you stupid bitch! Piss off! Piss off!"

I stare at him, my eyes wide as a few tears fall down my cheeks. This is not the first time I have cried in front of Derek Brown. I bite my lip as both my hands begin to tremble just like his are now. Everything in my body is telling me to run, my heart, my mind, my limbs... everything is screaming at me to run, but I cannot help it. If Derek is what I believe he is then I must help him - even if he is a disgusting human being. If I am right then I cannot simply leave him. Not only does he require help but he is a reminder to me, an odd comfort that tells me that the Fifth World does exist because I have not heard from it - excluding Johnson, of course.

"Derek," I whisper, "I know what you are. I can help you. Please."

He shakes his head, over and over and keeps saying 'no' as his face turns a bright red. I try to hold him, I try to give him some kind of comfort and yet I cannot believe that I am doing so. Minutes ago I was arguing about this person to Jonathan and showing Jonathan evidence of what Derek did to me. I think about the little scar Derek left on my chest and I shudder. My hands place themselves at Derek's shoulders and I try to hush him or even hug him but he still does not change.

"Derek," I say loudly, "I want to help you, Derek, please!"

He shakes me from him and replies, "then make it stop, Bo! Please. I don't want to be like this anymore. I just want to be normal! I'm tired of feeling so angry and confused. Everything I do - I close a door and it slams, I throw a ball and it shoots off for hundreds of metres, I even got into a fight at the pub and I knocked a guy out with one jab, he hit his head and they hospitalised him, it was terrible... I can't do this anymore, Bo!"

I stare at him. I know I can't help him, at least not in the way he wants me to but I know I cannot possibly get through to him if he keeps behaving like this. I take his face in my hands and I stare at him.

"I'm sorry, Derek," I say to him but he does not understand, "I need you stop crying, do not be sad and do not be angry - just listen to me. Listen to me and do not argue. It is the only way I can help you. You will do this for me."

When I let go of him his tears stop and his face slowly returns to its normal colour. I sigh and feel regret come over me. I hate manipulating people.