Cosmic Love

“You can leave too,” said Damon. “I can handle this.”

“I’d like to help if that’s alright,” I said lightly. My voice sounded strange to my body. “I can keep you company.” Damon gave me a glance of surprise before turning back to survey Vicki’s body. In one graceful motion he swept her body into his arms.

“Suit yourself,” he said brushing it off. He stood up and began walking towards his car. I followed after him. I wasn’t quite sure what I was feeling at the moment and it was catching me off guard. I felt weird and uncomfortable in my own skin.

Damon put the body in the trunk and I stepped into the passenger side while Damon got in the driver’s seat. “Are you upset about Jeremy?” asked Damon as we traveled down the dark and deserted roads.

“What makes you think that?” I asked him.

“Because you’re unusually quiet. Typically by now you’d be bothering me with questions about my diabolical plan.” He shot me a smile but I didn’t share in his amusement. “We can stop by Elena’s after we take care of this, alright?” I nodded my head and turned to look out the side window.

We traveled down a road no one ever really went down. It was rundown and there was dirt. Damon and I both got out and got the shovels from the trunk. There was a river bank to one side of the road and we decided to bury her there.

After we went back up to the car and put the shovels in the trunk. Shutting the trunk I was about to go back to my passenger seat when Damon’s grip stopped me. “There’s a Founder’s Council,” said Damon. “They know about the vampires. And they have vervain. We can’t compel them.” Another shiver of dread traveled through me.

“Do they have any idea?” I asked.

“No. The Founder’s Party was actually held to see who’s a vampire. Anyone that came during the daytime was eliminated as a suspect.” I released a slight sigh of relief but still felt wound up.

“What are we going to do?”

“We? I think you should let me take care of it.”

“Why do you insist on doing things alone?” I barked back suddenly angry. “Why can’t you let anyone help you?”

Damon was surprised by my sudden outburst but quick to retaliate. “Because I can handle it and less people get in the way. It’s better that way.” I looked in his eyes which were a cold, hard blue. I remembered the way they used to look. They used to be so bright and light, filled with life. Now all I saw was death.

Feeling like a complete wreck, I was overcome with sadness. I threw my arms around Damon’s neck pulling him to me. Like this, not being able to see him, I could almost imagine he was the same Damon he used to be. Hesitatingly Damon put his arms around my waist. He felt awkward comforting me. “What is it, Emma?” he asked.

“I miss you, Damon,” I said into his chest. My voice came out muffled due to his shirt though and I pulled away to look him in the eye. “I miss the old you. I miss 1864 you. You would always make jokes and pull pranks. I would see you riding off on your horse on your own adventure. You played with Stefan, were even friends with him. I miss the one that cared, and the one that felt. Because you were so happy, so alive.”

As I spoke I saw Damon’s eyes soften. His whole face seemed to release the mask and disguise he put on. My own eyes had filled with tears as I spoke. It was only as I blinked that two tears fell down each cheek. “Katherine messed everything up.”

Once I said it, I wished I hadn’t. Like a switch Damon hardened again, seemingly now more than ever. A brick wall seemed to go between us. I stepped back almost like I was repulsed by his aura. I stood looking at him wishing I could erase the past 145 years from him. “We’d better get going,” he said. His voice was formal and short. Like he was speaking to a stranger.

“Yes, we should.” Without another word Damon drove us back to Mystic Falls where we stopped in front of Elena’s house. “Why are we stopping here?” I asked.

“You wanted to check on Jeremy,” Damon reminded me. I must say I was kind of surprised he would still stop and let me after what I had said. As we were walking up to the house Stefan and Elena were talking. Quickly I gathered that Elena wanted Stefan to erase Jeremy’s memory but Stefan couldn’t because of his diet.

“I don’t have the ability to do it right,” said Stefan as we walked up to the porch.

“I can do it,” offered Damon immediately. Both Elena and Stefan turned, surprised to see us. “If this is what you want, I’ll do it.” I felt gratitude towards Damon rush through me. Jeremy shouldn’t remember any of this. He’s too young.

“It’s what I want,” Elena said towards Stefan as if making sure he knew and would consent. Stefan nodded knowing it was really Elena’s decision to make, not his.

“What do you want him to know?” asked Damon.

“I want you to tell him that Vicki left town. And she’s not coming back. That he shouldn’t look for her or worry about her. He’s going to miss her but he knows it’s for the best.” With a nod Damon moved into the house and I followed. “Thank you,” I whispered as we climbed the stairs. He gave a nod at me as we both went into Jeremy’s room.

“Jeremy,” I said going to him as soon as I saw him. I wrapped my arms around him and planted a kiss on his forehead. He looked surprised to see me but didn’t push me away. “Oh, Jer.” I looked at Damon wanting him to do it now.

“Jeremy, look at me,” said Damon gently. He looked at Damon, barely having control of his body and mind over the grief. I sat and held him as Damon told him Elena’s speech and took away all the pain he felt.

When it was done I laid Jeremy in his bed and put the covers over him. Once Damon had released him from compulsion he had fallen asleep quickly. I placed one last kiss on his head before following Damon out of the house again.

We came out to Stefan and Elena sitting on the bench. They looked up when they heard our footsteps. “It’s done,” said Damon. I was surprised that I actually heard emotion in his voice. I wasn’t sure what it was from though. With one last look at Stefan, Elena got up and hurried inside the house.

She shut the door leaving just the three of us on her front porch. All of us wondering what could possibly happen next. Only Damon and I had some slight clue.