Ever After Never Came

The shrill sound of my phone shattered whatever dreamland I was in. I fell off the bed, landing with a dull thump as I hit the floor and scrambled up to grab the stupid thing vibrating violently on the nightstand.

“Hello?” I groaned into the phone, looking at the digital clock. Six in the fucking morning what the hell?

“Where are you?” Jack’s voice asked.

I sat up in my bed, fully alert now that I realized who was calling me. “Why are you calling me?”

“Just answer the question, Abby,” Jack snapped.

“What the hell does it matter to you anyway? We’re done remember? I don’t have to answer to you at all,” I snapped back.

Jack sighed and I heard the sound of gravel being kicked. “Abby, please, I just want to talk.”

“There’s really not much to talk about Jack,” I said. “I don’t trust you, end of story.”

“Abigail, come on.”

There was a knock at the hotel door. I untangled myself quickly as I muttered a ‘hang on’ to Jack and tried to get to the door. I fumbled with the lock and pulled open the door. Jack stood with his phone pressed to his ear, an apologetic look on his face. I had my cell phone pressed to my ear with one hand, the other clutched to the door. My jaw must’ve hit the floor, because he smiled slightly at me. I blinked repeatedly to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

“Can I come in?”

I stood staring at him, not sure whether I should let him in or not. Finally, I gave up and moved aside, staring at the floor as Jack shuffled in. I shut the door behind him and leaned against it, watching Jack inspect the room. He seemed himself, same obnoxious look on his face and everything. He didn’t seem as upset as Alex had painted him out to be.

“So this is where you ran off to,” Jack stated, finally turning to face me. I frowned, noting that he hadn’t shaved in a while. I hated when he had stubble; it hurt to kiss him with all that poking your face.

“What?” Jack asked.

I snapped out of my thoughts on kissing Jack and realized he was staring at me. “Sorry, I was distracted. What was the question?”

“Nothing,” Jack chuckled. He walked forward, talking a few steps toward me. I flinched unconsciously. He frowned at me. “I’m not going to hurt you, Abs. Why would you flinch?”

“Out of habit,” I shrugged. “Sorry, I know you’re not violent. I just didn’t expect you to be here. You’ve caught me off guard.”

“I wasn’t going to come; I didn’t know if that’s what you wanted,” Jack admitted. “But Alex, Rian, Zack said I should.”

“I’m glad you did,” I whispered, suddenly very interested in the nail polish on my toes.

Jack’s hand reached under my chin and lifted my face up. “I’m so sorry, Abby. I wish I could turn back time and never have gone to the club, never talked to Hannah, or anything like that. I swear it was a onetime thing. I only went yesterday to tell her to leave me alone.”

I stared into eyes, smiling slightly at the way his eyes seemed to change from honey to deep dark brown near his pupil.

“Please forgive me?” Jack whispered his face dangerously close to mine.

“Jack, I don’t know. I just, it’s hard for me,” I said, twisting my fingers in my hair. I hadn’t combed it and was just now realizing how much of a wreck I looked.

“What is so hard about forgiving me?”

“What is so hard for you to understand that you hurt me?” I shot back. “How am I supposed to trust you, to hope that you wouldn’t do this again?”

“It was one time, Abby!” Jack turned on his heel, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. “I was drunk! It’s not like I went out saying, ‘I think I’ll fuck Hannah since Abby hates her and I want to hurt her.’ I made a huge mistake and I’m sorry, I so sorry. I don’t know what else to say anymore.”

“I don’t know what to tell you then, Jack!” I followed him to the sink. “What hurts the most is that you didn’t have the balls to just tell me the truth. I asked you and you lied. Yeah, I hate that it was Hannah Adams but that’s not the entire reason I’m mad. I’d be just as upset if it was anyone else, but the point is you lied to me. If you lied about this, what else are you hiding from me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Jack stated.

“Yeah, well you did,” I yelled. I closed my eyes, trying to get a hold of myself. This wasn’t fixing things. If anything it was making things worse. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Neither do I, but you don’t seem to care about how I feel.”

“Damn it, Jack! It is not all about you!” I yelled, fed up with his attitude. “Not everything is about you or the fact that you made a mistake. Sometimes it’s about me. It’s about the fact that I feel like a moron for trusting you or that I love you so much it hurts, but you still get further and further away. Sometimes it about how I feel.

“You say that it was a onetime thing, or that you were just drunk, fine. But what happens when I’m not around and you go out to party which you know I hate. I hate that you get wasted and you still do it, even when I’m here. It’s not fair to me Jack, it’s just not!”

I sat down on the edge of the bed and placed my head in my palms. “This going around in circles bit it ridiculous and I’m tired.” I crawled back into the bed and covered my head with a pillow hoping Jack would just leave me alone. I needed him to understand that I needed to just chill out for a second.

Of course, Jack being Jack wouldn’t just leave. I felt the bed shift under his weight and an arm snaked around my waist pulling me into his arms. I could’ve fought him off, but I didn’t really want to. It was the first time in a while that he actually held me close. I’d missed being in his arms.

The pillow over my head was removed and Jack nuzzled his face in my hair, kissing the top of my head. I turned over to face him, placing both hands on either side of his face.

“Do you love me?” I asked, looking straight in his eyes.

“Of course I do,” he answered. “I’d do anything to make things better. Just tell me what to do.”

“I don’t want you out partying all the time or getting wasted. You don’t have to be shitfaced to have fun. The whole bra collection thing is whatever, but do you really have to autograph them while they’re on a girl?” I asked.

“No, but it is kind of fun,” Jack replied. I frowned at him. “I’m kidding, Abby. I won’t sign them anymore. And Ill tone it down on drinking, just please come back?”

“Okay, but you know it’s going to be a while before I trust you right?”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, I guess. I mean sure.”

“I love you, Jack. I love you so much,” I told him. I pressed my mouth to his, kissing him properly for the first time in days.

“I love you too, tons,” Jack replied. “I’m going to make you trust me again, even if I have to bend over backwards to do it.”

I snuggled up to him, glad that maybe things were going to be okay again. I wasn’t completely sure what was going to happen with Jack and I, but I knew that we had something special. That’s all that really matters, right? It had to, because no one else could ever make me feel the way Jack did.

“I’ll hold you to that,” I mumbled. “Go to sleep, it’s too early.” I closed my eyes, falling back into my dreams.
~*~*~*~

I was cleaning the bus, hoping that maybe once things would stay nice and neat for a while. The boys were asleep in their bunks, the steady rocking motion of the bus helping them out. We were on our way to Vancouver, the seventh stop on tour.

It hadn’t been hectic just yet, which was a good thing. I’d finally met all the bands on tour and made good friends with most of them. Meeting Fall Out Boy in particular, was surreal. There was something about knowing that I’d listened to them once and now here I was hanging out with them on a daily basis. I’d found a good friend in Cassadee Pope, lead singer of Hey Monday. It was nice having her to talk to and not be the only girl.

I was happy again, but doubtful about my relationship with Jack. Even though we’d made up and Jack had promised me the world, things were still rocky. I really didn’t trust him when he went out and I was constantly calling or texting to make sure he was where he was supposed to be. I couldn’t help myself. It’s not that I wanted to nag him, but seriously what was I supposed to do?

We’d gotten into arguments a few times, causing some tension between everyone. Zack, Rian, and Alex would try to stay out of it, but they usually found themselves in the middle of it. Lisa had called a few times, but we hadn’t spoken much. She was doing alright, but missed Alex. She’d mainly call to ask about him. I admired her because she seemed to be doing okay without him. I’d been completely miserable without Jack, so the fact that she wasn’t so depressed made me realize how irrational I am. I finally asked her why she was so content with everything.

“Well sweetie, I don’t need him. I want him because I love him. But if he doesn’t want to be with me, then it’s not the end of the world,” Lisa explained.

“Wow, I’d never thought of that before.”

“It’s not easy; I’m not saying that it is. But I just have to get over it. Crying and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make it better.”

Lisa’s words seemed to echo around me every time I looked at Jack. I guess it was maybe just the fear that I’d be alone that made me the way I was. I was scared that he’d leave me because I’d become so dependent on him. It’s like I felt I needed him.

Seeing as all we did was argue, Jack and I tended to avoid each other. I’d go to sleep early, after packing up everything, and he’d come to bed hours later after a meet and greet or maybe getting a drink with the guys. We hardly talked anymore and it was really kind of sad. We hardly ever told each other we loved each other anymore. And even though sex wasn’t the most important part, I hadn’t been intimate with Jack in several months. Even when he’d gotten home we weren’t alone and since our break things hadn’t gotten better.

Long story short, I missed him.

“Abby? What are you doing?” Jack’s arms wrapped around my waist as I was rinsing off the few dishes that were in the sink.

“Cleaning,” I replied simply, leaning back into him. These small moments when we were perfectly okay meant the world to me and I would never pass up the opportunity to have a moment.

“So, I was thinking. We have a day off in Vancouver, before the Salt Lake City show. We’re going to be at the hotel and stuff. I thought maybe we could go out to dinner or something, you know, just us?” Jack rambled.

I dried my hands on the towel and turned to face him with a grin plastered onto my face. “Really, like a legit date?”

Jack stares at me with a look of disbelief on his face. “Did you just say ‘legit’?”

I frowned. “Don’t make fun of me! That’s not the point of the question.”

Jack burst into laughter. “Oh god, you’re adorable. You said ‘legit’!”

“Jack! Stop it!” I whined, joining in on the laughter. I missed these moments. They were so few and far between.

“You’re cute,” Jack said as he kissed my nose. “I think I like you.”

“You think you like me?” I asked.

“Yeah, think. I’ll figure it out on our date tonight. Dress pretty,” Jack said, pecking me on the lips. “I’m going to be pretty busy, so I’ll see you after the show, okay?”

I nodded as he bounded off to get dressed and go about the day. I myself was going to be pretty busy. The bus was lacking food and I knew the boys wouldn’t last forever without Red Bull. First order of business was grocery shopping. I had laundry to do at the nearest Laundromat, and I had to help Vinny set up the merch booth, count out inventory and make sure we had enough to sell. Flyzik and Colussy had already been to the hotel and checked out the rooms for tonight. We’d be able to get in after the show.

I took a quick shower and got dressed, pulling my hair into a ponytail and adding very little makeup. I didn’t feel like applying much. I grabbed a backpack, my messenger bag and sunglasses, pulling out my phone to look up the nearest grocery store in the area. I set off in search of the local farmers market or something equally as appealing.

I got lucky and within a few blocks found a store that catered to my needs. I grinned in victory and may or may not have done a victory dance. I grabbed one of the carts and pulled out the list I’d made from my pocket.

Juice
Red Bull
Ham
Peanut butter
Bread
Jelly
Cheese
Twizzlers
Cookies
Protein shake mix
Popcorn
Alcohol – any kind of alcohol, please!

I laughed at the last item, recognizing Alex’s scrawl. He should know better; I’m not old enough to buy that. Then I realized that we were currently in Canada and the drinking age was nineteen. Alex had done his research then.

I wandered through the aisles throwing in the things I needed or figured the boys would want. It was an unspoken deal that I would take care of the grocery shopping and stuff in exchange for a little more pay. It was something I didn’t mind doing and I actually liked it. It allowed my maternal instincts to kick in.

I paid for everything and began my walk back to the venue. I was grateful that I’d brought the extra bag to hold everything. The bus was empty when I got there, giving me a chance to unload everything and get ready for my next task: laundry. I frowned at the large bag sitting in the living area. Jack needed clean clothes and so did I. I sighed and grabbed the bag, placing the sunglasses back on my face and heading out again into breezy Vancouver on my way to the Laundromat.

~*~*~*~*~

“Goodnight, Vancouver!” Alex yelled out to the crowd and bowed.

Jack ran to me and wrapped me up in a huge bear hug. “That was amazing!”

“You guys did great, babe,” I replied, kissing his cheek. I grimaced at the sweat on pouring down his face.

“Thanks… I’m going to go shower. Want to join me?” Jack waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Nope!” I laughed. “I have things to do and a date to get ready for.”

“You’re seeing someone else?” Jack gasped. “Abby, how could you?”

“Well he’s super hot and amazing and I have to go now,” I teased, walking off to the merch booth and helping Vinny get everything packed.

“I’ve got this. Go get ready for your hot date,” Vinny smirked.

I grinned at him. “Thank you Vinny!” I hugged him and bounded toward the bus. All the boys except Jack were lounging around the living area. I waved and passed them on my way to the bunk area.

I released my hair from the ponytail it had been in and clawed through the pile of clothes in my bunk looking for the one dress I brought. I pulled out the green mini dress and my silver flats, changing quickly before grabbing some jewelry and putting it on. I felt the bus move and realized we were on our way to the hotel. It was only twenty minutes away so I needed to be quick. Jack stepped out of the tiny bathroom in a towel, grinning at me.

“You look pretty,” he commented, grabbing clothes from his own suitcase.

“I’m not even ready yet,” I replied, smiling at him. “You’re not supposed to see me until I’m done to get the full effect.”

“Abigail, you’re beautiful in sweats with a nest for hair and no makeup.”

I blushed as he kissed me and sauntered to the lounge, leaving me to get ready.

My curling iron heated up within the first few minutes of being on and I hurriedly curled sections of my hair, hoping it looked pretty enough. Finally, I lightly swept on some green eye shadow, lined my eyes, and brushed on two coats of mascara.

The bus finally stopped and I was ready. I stepped out of the bunk area and stood in the lounge. The boys all clapped and wolf whistled, making me blush even more as I took Jack’s arm and stepped off the bus. He hailed a cab and helped me in.

“So, where are we going?” I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

“I’m not telling you. It’s a surprise,” Jack answered, gazing out at the city’s landscape.

“You suck,” I teased him.

“No baby, I eat.”

I smacked his arm, holding back the giggle that threatened to escape my mouth. Jack was so perverted sometimes.

The taxi cab stopped in front of a small restaurant. Jack passed a few bills to the driver and slid out, me following behind him.

“It’s so adorable,” I gushed.

It was a small Italian restaurant, decorated in several shades of green, gold, and beige. There were sconces on the walls providing a romantic atmosphere. Jack grabbed my hand in his own as he followed the host to our table. Being a true gentlemen, he pulled my chair out for me and pushed me in.

“This place is amazing, Jack.”

“I know… I thought of you when I saw it, know you like Italian food,” Jack shrugged, as if this gesture was nothing.

“Well thank you. This means the world to me Jack,” I said sincerely. He reached across the table and placed his hand on mine.

“I love you, Abby.”

“I love you too, Jack.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We took a cab back and had him drop us off a few blocks away from the hotel, at a small park. The night had gone well and I felt pretty good about this. The temperature was dropping slowly, but I had Jack’s arm around me to keep me warm.

“I enjoyed our date,” I told him, watching as people passed us by.

“Me too, it was nice to have a night to ourselves for once,” Jack replied.

We walked in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. I had one more surprise for Jack, since he’d taken me out. But I was nervous and a little worried that things wouldn’t turn out as planned. We reached the hotel while I was worrying and before I knew it, I was in the hotel room with my boyfriend about to do something completely out of character.

"Jack I have to go to the bathroom real quick." I stated as I grabbed my duffle bag off the floor.

He nodded slightly as he kissed me on the cheek then fell back on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light switch and looking into the mirror. Other than the nervous look plastered on my face, my makeup and hair still looked fine so I quickly undressed. I grabbed the only lingerie set I had packed and slipped it on, I studied my pale body in the mirror. My long blonde hair poured over my shoulder and back flowing prettily against my skin. The black lace was definitely a stretch for me, sure Jack and I had been "intimate" before, but never had I went out of my way and tried like this before. I looked at myself one more time before grabbing the silk robe that was hanging on the back of the door and slipping it on. I took a deep breath, counted to then and walked out into the room. Jack was still lying on the bed.

He looked up when he felt my presence back in the room, smiling slightly at me but the smile grew wider when he spotted the robe. He motioned for me to come over to him. I smiled back and climbed onto the bed until I was on Jack, straddling his lap. I put my face to his and lightly kissed his lips then pulled away. Jack entangled his hands in my hair and brought me back to his lips kissing me passionately.

I let out a content sigh as this went on for a while. Jack finally began to untie my robe, when he felt what was underneath he pulled away and looked at me questioningly.

"Keep opening it." I hinted.

Jack pulled the robe all the way off and looked at my body with hungry eyes. I suddenly felt self conscious and tried to cover my stomach with my arms. Jack grabbed my arms and pulled them away from me.

"Baby, you’re perfect. There's no need to feel insecure." he whispered.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I leaned in to kiss him again. This time I let my hands fumble with the buttons on Jack's shirt and got it off of him. Then my hands went down to fumbling with his belt. I had never felt confidence like this, in a way it was like a leap of faith. I felt as if it was okay to put myself out there with Jack, I just had to hope in the end I wouldn't be let down again, but I also wanted to use this as a way of forgiving him, OFFICIALLY. It didn't take much brain power to keep kissing him; our lips almost were made for each other. They moved perfectly in sync together, the only hard part was unbuckling his damn belt.

“Having trouble?” Jack teased, breaking the kiss.

“Hush, you’re ruining the moment,” I teased back, smiling at him before reattaching my lips to his.

I finally got it undone and pulled his pants down. Jack pulled away from me and flipped me over so I was now underneath him. I took in a deep breath and smiled at the man above me.

“I love you,” he whispered, tracing the waist band of my underwear before pulling them down. I fought the urge to squirm and kissed him roughly as he pushed into me.