The End Of Book Search

“I can't do this,” he says.

Steve sits in his chair while staring at the tip of his cigarette. It glows brightly in his dimly lit room. He stares at a couple of blank papers laying on his desk. He had told Rose that he was writing his story. However, he hadn`t come up with anything good enough to write about. His cigarette nears an end. Steve stares at it before putting it out. As he rubs out the light he realizes that cigarettes and time have something in common. They`re always burning away. He takes off his glasses and runs his hand through his thick brown hair.

He gets up and walks to a collection of records placed on a book shelf. There isn`t much, but it`s okay, he knows the record perfect for the occasion. Ink Spots. He puts on the record.

“Steve?” Rose calls from outside the door, “are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine darling… I’ll be a minute.”

He gets up from the chair and takes one final drag before getting ready to do the impossible. How have we got to this point he wonders. He stares at the record player as

it spins and thinks about how all this happened. How he caught Rose in the coffee shop with Jermaine, her boss.

* * *

It was around five o’clock and Steve was heading to a cheese shop in Kensington Market. Steve and Rose were hosting a wine and cheese party and Steve was in charge for picking up some brie. Besides, Rose was in charge of the crackers so there was no need to worry about that.

He enters the cheese store and is hit by its over-powering smell. Steve felt like he was one of the few people who actually loved the smell of cheese. Well, him and some others of course. He looks around and sees the owner.

“Hey there Pedro, how’s it going?”

“Ah, Steve, my good friend, come for some brie?”

“Yes, Rose and I are hosting a wine and cheese party, and only want the best,” he says with a wink.

“Ah, Steve, you treat me too kind. Here, let me give you a nice discount.”

Steve smiles, knowing he accomplished his goal.

Steve leaves the cheese store and walks by a couple of thrift stores and a mini restaurant. He is about to enter the coffee shop but notices Rose in there with Jermaine. He normally would have entered the shop, but Rose had said she was going to be working and obviously wasn’t. Steve decided to text her to see if she was at lunch.

Are you at lunch? He waited outside to see if she would respond.

No, not yet… why?

Oh, no reason. Just don’t forget the crackers.

What Steve wanted to do was confront her. Perhaps something along the lines of: you lying bitch! I can see you with that fruitcake Jermaine! That`s what he wanted to do but knew he
never would. As Steve continued to look through the window from across the street, he saw Rose put her hand gently on Jermaine’s. Jermaine smiled then came in and whispered something into Rose’s ear. Probably something seductive and stupid Steve thought. Rose smiled and kissed Jermaine gently on the lips. Steve’s heart shattered. How could Rose do this he thought. Rose, the girl he had been dating for seven years. Rose, the girl he loved. Steve sat there for another minute and got up and walked away.

He got home and put the brie in the fridge, then went to his study, took out a pack of Du Maurier’s and lit one. These usually helped. They made him feel numb and pain-free. Every time one would finish he would light another. By the time Rose came in he had smoked a pack and a half.

“Steve darling, are you in there?” she called from outside the door.

Steve sat there and took a drag before finally responding, “Yes.”

“Is something wrong? I brought the crackers.”

“No, nothing is wrong… That’s good”

“Okay, I’ll be in the living room if you need me then.

Steve didn’t bother answering. There was no point. Hours passed before Steve decided to come out.

“Ah, there you are, I thought you had died or something. The guests will be here soon so we should start getting everything prepared.”

“Yes, of course.”

They got all the glasses ready and put all the cheese on the crackers. Steve did not want to break up with Rose till after the party so he just read till the guests arrived.