Lolita Love Story

Listening to the even rhythm of his footsteps always kept Kougou's mind from wandering to the things he didn't want to think about. His steps were fairly light, but in the long, empty street, the scuffle of his shoes against he pavement were the only sound. Further ahead, he heard the distant chatter of people staying out late, but it was muted to his ears.

The streetlights were dim and illuminated the city in pale, hazy light. It reminded him a bit of the hospital's lights, actually, and with that came the memory of the night that had changed his life: the night his mother was killed. He pushed the dark thoughts away and tried to focus on how nice the night was.

Kougou emerged from the silent street onto a busier one. It was in one of the many shopping districts, and he wove his way through people carefully. A lazy contentedness hung in the air, manifested in the people who stood at street-side stalls eating from skewers and older men and women who sat in the bars talking loudly and drinking from small sake cups. Kougou watched them as he passed, wishing he could live normal, happy lives like that.

"Kou-senpai, is that you?"

Kougou turned around, surprised to hear a familiar voice. It was the Yamasui girl he sat in front of in class. Her bright red hair was tied back into a bun and her bangs framed her face, making her huge amber eyes even larger. She wore a fluffy pink dress and white stockings. He nodded and attempted a smile, which wasn't too difficult considering that her smile was infectious.

"Yamasui-san, you're out late."

"My given name is Saikai. Please, call me Sai-chan," she said, bowing a little in deference. She smiled. "We're both out late, it seems." An older boy came to her side then, his eyes very interested in her. She glanced at him but kept her eyes on Kougou as she spoke. "Ah, Kou-senpai, this is my friend, Toua. We were just out with some friends to get boba tea."

Toua bowed a little, but the bow fell just short of politeness. Saikai did not notice, but Kougou did as he properly bowed. He looked at the spiky-haired boy haughtily. "I haven't seen you around, Kou-kun. Are you new?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. Despite his brashness, Kougou would not give him the reaction he clearly wanted.

"Tou-kun, I'm going to walk home with Kou-senpai," she said sweetly, smiling at him. "Sorry to leave you with Rie-chan."

He frowned. "Can't he just come with us?"

"Oh, Tou-kun, you'll scare him away with that attitude of yours," she said, laughing softly. "I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay? Oyasuminasai." She waved goodbye to him and flounced up beside Kougou, her expression suddenly guilty. "I'm sorry about him, senpai."

"Don't be."

"I can't help it. He was mean to you," she said uncomfortably. Kougou was surprised that she had noticed. "I'm sorry. I don't know why he would act like that."

He knew why, but he kept quiet. It wasn't his place to talk about the older boy. Instead, he said, "It's okay. Really." They walked in silence for a while, their pace slow and leisurely. It was the first time he had walked around with someone for enjoyment, he realized. Since he was small, his visions had caused panic attacks and anxiety which made other children think he was strange. They talked about him and ridiculed him, but he didn't mind. He didn't care what they thought.

"You don't have many friends, do you?" she asked softly, sweetly. He could hear the empathy in her voice. Empathy, not sympathy. He looked over at her in surprise, searching her eyes for the first time since they'd met that day on the stairs. She wasn't looking at him, though. She was biting her lip slightly and looking at the sky. The stars seemed to twinkle in her soft brown eyes, like the sky was being reflected from inside her eyes. "I don't either."

"What about those people with you just a moment ago?" he asked, tucking his pale hands into his pockets as they walked.

"I don't want to admit it, even to myself, but they aren't really my friends." As she said it, her eyes grew watery and she looked down. "Rie used to be, but she's changed since then. And the others only accept me because I'm friends with her." She smiled sadly. "And now, because I know you."

Kougou frowned. "Why do they care about me?"

"W-well, because... they like you," she said quickly, a light pink blush appearing in her cheeks. "You're new and mysterious, and that draws people to you, I think."

"They don't even know me," he said, uncomprehending. "How can they like me?"

"Maybe my words were chosen badly... The other girls always talk about you. They ask me about you every time they see me." She averted her eyes again. "They think you're hot."

He felt himself frowning again.

"I-I'm sorry, senpai. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

He shook his head. "It's not that."

Silence stretched between them for a few minutes until they arrived at the train station together. It was dim except for the terminal where they waited. After buying their tickets, they sat next to each other on the train. Not many people were out at that hour, so it was a quiet and peaceful ride. Saikai was staring out the window at the lights of the city against the dark night sky. Kougou watched her curiously for a time before forcing himself to look elsewhere. A few stops went by.

"I'm leaving at the next stop," she told him softly. Then she smiled that contagious smile. "Thank you for walking home with me tonight, senpai. I hope we can do this again sometime."

He smiled too. "I would like that."

When the next stop came, as promised, she left, but not before waving goodbye.



Sliding open the front door, Kougou slid his feet into the slippers at the door and closed it behind him. He hung his jacket on the hook at the door and flipped on the light. The new house felt so empty without his father, despite that hadn't been in it with him yet. Everything was as he left it, as he had expected. He didn't bother opening the refrigerator or flipping on the TV. He went straight to his room, where his Siamese cat, Hanako, was waiting for him to return. She stretched out and yawned hugely.

"Tadaima," he said quietly to himself, out of habit. Hanako closed her eyes and curled up on his chest in a warm, cuddly ball. He wondered when, or if, he would ever hear the words he missed most: "Okaeri nasai".