Wipe The Slate As Clean As You Can

Darkness is safer here. There has never been a moment of my life where I found the light to be a haven. All sorts of evil disguised as common strangers walk beneath the sun everyday, but the stars have never tried to fool me. No one can hide their intent when approached in the night; smiles and batting eyelashes are worthless in the darkness, because your adversary will never see your feigned attempt at trickery.

Today is just the same as yesterday; bleak and mundane. The neverending cycle begins the second that the sun appears at the horizon. As the inky blackness of night surrenders to dawn, I am forced to reveal my bloodshot eyes to the world. It's just another weekday where I'll live my life in the silence of the moment. If only people had the same sense that I did to keep their mouths shut. It would work so much better for everyone.

I do not mean to sound bitter or jaded, but I cannot deny what I am. Too much degredation has worn me down to the point where my soul is barely breathing. I would be able to survive this if I didn't know that tomorrow would bring the same results. It has been my personal experience that things seldom get better, but only plunge into the eternal abyss of hellish torment and apathy.

I must admit that the day can be beautiful when separated from it's associated characteristics, but so can White Oleander. Poisonous by nature, both will cause you heart failure indefinitely. I fail to see the point in holding a grudge. What has it ever accomplished?

Feeling contemptuous towards someone has never benefitted me in either the long or the short run. To this day, I still cannot forget what has taught me my life lessons. It took a wildly dangerous partnership with an unreputable man to force my mind open. Even considering the fact that I was forced to murder him, I still cannot bear him a grudge.

He gave me my beautiful Dakota, and even if his face is a constant reminder of his father, I could not take this world without him. Although, there are days where my wits might not be about me, I assure you that I love him with every strand of mental sanity that I have managed to retain. Even if that is not much, it's all I have left to give him.

Maybe one day we can find a stable home. The dawn brings all of my demons into the light, and Dakota tells me that he tires of this. The inconsistency is not good for him, I know, but I am left with no other options.

They just won't leave me alone, and I can't live with or without them, so I kind of have to comply with their every wish. If only they gave me a kind word or two, then maybe we could stay with them. They always find me, they always taunt me, and eventually they always ruin me.

Maybe tomorrow we can find our way to a permanent home.