Just So I Can Be With My Baby

I allowed my, what did they call her? Social worker, I think. Well, I allowed her to lift me off the ground and place me firmly onto her hip. My grandmother placed her hand over her heart while she openly cried. I don’t get why she is, it’s not like I won’t see her tomorrow. She watches me while Mommy is at work.

My eyes stayed put on Grandma before I realized that my social worker was strapping me in the back of a car. I quickly kicked against her.

“Mommy says to never go with strangers!” I yelled, trying to push her away from me.

“Lacey.” She snapped, causing me to stop moving. “Mommy isn’t here anymore. I’m taking you to your daddy.”

Daddy? I don’t have a daddy.

++

“Yo, John Oh!” Kennedy called from the back lounge. I looked up from my lap top as his lanky body walked through the small hallway. “Your phone’s been going off non stop. Who’s supposed to nap with that stupid song playing every three minutes.”

I rolled my eyes but caught my phone as he tossed it at me. I shut my lap top and slid my finger across the touch screen of my phone while Kenney plopped down in the seat next to me. “Weren’t you going to nap?” I gruffly mumbled as I tried to figure out who had been calling me.

“Some fan get your number?” he chuckled in response grabbing my beer and taking a drink.

I gave him a short look before dialing one and pressing my phone to my ear.

“Hello, this is Cindy Evans with the Childcare Protection agency. I’m calling for a Mr. John O’Callaghan, if I have the wrong number you may ignore this, but if not, please return my call as soon as possible. Thank you.”

I gulped and allowed my phone to drop out of my hand.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Kennedy asked from beside me, picking my phone off the ground. I shook my head and reached for my phone again and quickly pressed send on the number that had called me numerous times.

“Hello, Cindy Evans, this is Mr. O’Callaghan?” she asked, lightly clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

“Uh, yes Ms. Evans, it’s John O’Callaghan, may I ask why you’re calling?” I gulped, praying that it was some joke before she let out a soft sigh.

“Mr. O’Callaghan-”

“Please, call me John.”

“Okay, John. There was an accident a few hours ago.” I felt the color drain from my face as she continued to talk. “Ms. Erin Hamliton was hit by a drunk driver. She did not make it.”

I shut my eyes tightly. “That’s very sad to hear, but I don’t understand why Child Protection would be calling me.” Kennedy’s eyes just about popped out of his head when he heard me say that.

“Well, you see John, Ms. Hamliton-”

“Erin. She hated to be called Ms. Hamliton.” I interrupted.

She let out a short sigh. “Okay, Erin, had a young daughter. Four years old, and records show that you were with Erin around the time. And we need to get a paternity test because little Lacey now has no legal guardian.”

I gulped. “Wait, what?” I asked, shock dripping off my voice. “Erin never told me she was pregnant. She had my number, she would have told me if she was having my baby.”

“Sir, you would be surprised as to how many times we hear that.” she answered, “We’ll need to set up a meeting with you. Unless, if you don’t want to met your daughter.”

“No, I want to met her.” I answered, “I’m in Utah right now though. When will this meeting be?”

“Next Wednesday, will you still be Utah?” Cindy asked, I put my hands over my face before muttering a ‘no.’ “Where will you be then?” she was getting impatient.

I harshly pressed my fingers against my forehead as I forced myself to think. “We’ll be in Kansas.” I finally answered.

“Well then, Mr. O’Callaghan, we’ll met you in Kansas. I’ll call you later for with more information.” and with that she hung up.

++

“But I don’t have a daddy.” I told Mrs. Evans again. She just tsked underneath her breath and brushed back my brown curls.

“You do now sweetie.” She told me before taking my hand and leading me down the dark hallway of the hotel she was making me stay in. Patiently, her long finger pressed the button for the elevator.

“Will he like me?” I asked, clinging onto her leg as she pulled me into the small space. I bit my lip as I looked up at her face.

“Oh honey, of course he will.”

“Are you sure he’s my daddy?” I asked again, pushing my brown curls out of my face.

“Remember a couple days ago when we took blood from you?” she asked in response, kneeling down to my level. I nodded my head in reply. “Well honey, we took some from him too and we tested them to see. And they told us yes.”

“Blood can talk?!” I screeched, slapping my hands over my mouth for being too loud.

She just chuckled softly and patted my head, “No honey, blood cannot talk.”

“Oh, okay.” I answered, grabbing her hand as the elevator doors dinged open. I allowed my thumb to find it’s way to my mouth, something Mommy always hated, and slowly walked along side of Ms. Evans.

Soon we were in what she had called a ‘conference room’. It had white walls with a silly looking plant by one of the two windows. There was a long table in the middle of the room with lots of chairs all around it, the kind that were good to play with ‘cause of the wheels on the bottom. I jumped onto one and spun myself in circles giggling wildly.

I only stopped when Ms. Evans cleared her throat. I waited for the scene before my eyes to stop moving before I sunk deep into the black chair.

A tall man was staring down at me, looking at me as if I had three heads. He had brown hair that sat messy on his head and was real tall.

“Is…is that?” he softly asked, Ms. Evans nodded her head. Slowly, he walked forward and kneeled down in front of me, much like Ms. Evans did in the elevator. With his head tilted to the side he continued to just look at me and act like I was weird. Like I had three heads.

Well, I don’t.

++

I gulped as I slowly reached my hand out to touch the side of her face. She looks just like her mother, from her nose to her mouth and even down to her fingers. The only detail that she didn’t get were the brown eyes that I had fallen in love with. Staring back at me were my own green eyes.

I believe I made a mistake in leaving her. I silently thought to myself. She looked at me with her eyes wide as I bit back a tear. I slowly reached forward and smoothed back some of her brown curls, just like her mothers. She flinched a little at my touch.

“Daddy?” she asked, her little pink lips barely moving to form the words. I nodded my head and allowed her to launch herself into my arms. Hesitantly, I wrapped my arms around her small body and stood up. Her head rested between my neck and shoulder as I turned to face Cindy.

“I think you can take this from here.” she smiled, “I’ll have someone bring her stuff down at once.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, my eyes going wide, “I’m on tour right now, like in a bus with a bunch of other guys. It’s not the place for a little girl.”

“Don’t you want me?” Lacey asked from my arms. She was sitting up and looking at me, tearing brimming her eyes. “Mommy doesn’t want me and you don’t either!” she yelled, struggling to get out of my arms, but I held on tighter.

“Of course I want you baby.” I said, “It’s just not safe right now. You could get hurt on tour.”

“Well, I suggest you take some time off tour, cancel a few dates and get her settled somewhere, or you’ll have to sign over your parental rights.” Cindy said, placing a hand on her hip.

“Get me her stuff.” I shortly said. “I’m not giving up my rights, I’ve already missed too much.”

Lacey laid her head back down on my shoulder and placed her thumb in her mouth. I kept my arms securely holding her up before walking out of the conference room with my daughter.

With the most important thing in my life strapped safely in the car seat that was given to us, I quickly reversed out of the parking lot and off to where my bus was parked, completely ready to tell the guys that we’re canceling the tour. Just so I can be with my baby.