Believe Me, I'm Lying

“So what are you doing today?”

Jack sighs as he pulls his skinny jeans up his legs. They’re technically jean leggings – but he doesn’t tell anyone that. They’d probably accuse him of being girly and Jack will want to just punch them in the face.

“I have work,” he says in a monotonous tone, pressing the phone closer to his ear as he uses both hands to button the pants, “I have work every weekday - Monday to Friday. Why, then, do you ask me every single morning what I’m doing that day?”

“I’m just trying to make conversation, Jack,” Ashley snaps, “Sorry for caring. Maybe I’ll just stop calling every morning. Maybe I’ll just stop caring.”

There’s a *click*, signaling that she’s hung up the phone and Jack sighs and shakes his head, throwing the cell phone onto his bed. She’s probably PMSing, he decides, and she’ll come crawling back tomorrow or the day after. She always does. And it’s not like Jack is really going to be bothered by her silent treatment.

He pulls a white v-neck t-shirt over his head, feeling a litte bit strange to be getting dressed in such casual clothes on a Thursday morning. But, he’s not going to work. Not even close. He called in early this morning to tell his supervisor he’d be out. He used the ‘personal’ excuse. But in reality, he has plans with Alex, who also took the day off of work. He’s meeting the younger boy at his apartment so he can pick him and Devyn up.

To be honest, Jack is a little bit nervous. Alex thinks this will be a good idea – a way for Jack to somehow bond with Devyn. It’s not that Jack doesn’t want that – he does, because it’s obviously something that Alex wants. It’s just that Jack is not very good with children and he actually never really liked them at all. So without a doubt, today’s going to be a little weird for him. He just hopes that Devyn takes a liking to him rather quickly.

Once he’s dressed and has a quick cup of coffee, Jack takes the elevator down to the lobby, his thoughts buzzing around in his head as he walks to his car. He needs this to go well. If it does, it will prove to Alex that Jack is serious about a relationship and getting to know his son. If it doesn’t, he can kiss any kind of relationship with the younger boy goodbye. And he really doesn’t want that to happen.

“You should buy Devyn a toy, or something. That’s a sure way to get him to like you.”

Caleb’s words echo in his head, and he wants to hit himself for not taking his advice.

By the time he actually gets to Alex’s apartment building, it’s nearly eight thirty and the sun is beating down on Jack’s car, forcing him to pull the visor down to shield his eyes. He glances at the temperature, finding that it’s 58 degrees out. That’s pretty normal for October. It’ll just get a little warmer throughout the day, he hopes.

When he looks out his window, that’s when he sees Alex walking out of the building. He’s got one hand clutched tightly around Devyn’s, and the other holding onto what looks like a car seat. Right. Jack forgot Devyn would need one of those. Making a fast decision, Jack pulls the handle on his door and gets out of his car, running across the street and meet Alex on the sidewalk.

“Here, I’ll take it,” He says, taking the car seat out of Alex’s hands, “Fuck, it’s heavy.” His eyes widen as he realizes that he just cursed in front of a four year old, and he looks down to see Devyn with his hand over his mouth and eyes wide. “Ahh, I mean –”

“Don’t worry about it, Jack,” Alex says with a smile. He bends down to Devyn’s height and asks, “What’d I tell you about bad words?”

Devyn shuffles his feet and uncovers his mouth, biting his lip. Jack can’t fight the smile that works its way onto his face, because Devyn’s really pretty adorable. “You said that I sh-shouldn’t use them. Not until I’m older.”

“How old?”

“Um. Thirty?”

Alex laughs, “That’s right.” He presses his lips to Devyn’s forehead and then stands up straight and grins at Jack, “He’s well trained.”

“Clearly.”

They walk across the street, and Jack struggles with putting the car seat in the car. He can’t figure out where exactly he’s supposed to put the seat buckle through and fuck, this is really just not his thing. So, Alex pushes him out of the way, handing Devyn’s hand over and crawling into the back seat of the car.

Devyn’s hand feels funny in his, Jack decides. It’s so small and just. Not what he’s used to. He looks down, the little boy staring off into the distance with a blank look on his face. He’s wearing jeans – they look like skinny jeans – and that’s kind of weird, Jack thinks, because he had no idea that people even made skinny jeans for kids. And he’s also wearing a hoodie – it says Blink182 on it, and Jack has to wonder how he even got that.

“There,” Alex says, getting back out, “That was hard. I’ve never had to do that before, considering that we always just take the bus.” He picks Devyn up and leans back into the car, helping the little boy buckle the seat belt. Once he’s sitting comfortably, Alex walks around to the passenger’s seat and Jack opens his own door.

“Well,” he says as he starts the car, “If you ever need a ride somewhere, you can just call me. You don’t always have to take the bus.”

“Thanks, Jack. But we like the bus. Right Dev?”

Jack looks in his rearview mirror, watching Devyn nod enthusiastically, “I like the bus.”

“I hate buses,” Jack mumbles, pulling out of the parking spot, “Takes too long to get to where you need to go.”

“Yeah, but sometimes that’s not so bad. Devyn and I play games – like who can find the most red cars.”

“I always win!” Devyn shouts from the back seat. He’s tugging on the seatbelt, clearly not comfortable with it since he’s never really had to wear one.

“Yeah, he always wins.” Alex rolls his eyes at Jack and then reaches across the middle console to lace their fingers together.

Jack’s heart does something weird – skips a beat –and his stomach flips.

---

At the park, Jack and Alex sit on one of the many benches lining the playground as Devyn plays. They sit in silence, for the most part, and Jack notices how Alex follows Devyn with his eyes, never losing him from his sight. It makes Jack smile, how obviously Alex cares about his son.

“So… I have to ask,” Jack says, interrupting the silence around them, “How, exactly, did Devyn come into your life?”

“Oh… It’s kind of complicated,” Alex responds, rubbing his hands against his legs, “There was this girl that I was dating in high school. Except, we weren’t really dating, if you get what I mean. Her name was Nicole. She was just kind of a cover for me and she just wanted a boyfriend, so it worked out. But then we went to this party and well… we got pretty drunk. I don’t think I’ve ever been as drunk as I was that night- I was pretty bad. And we slept together. And she got pregnant.”

“So… where is she now? How come you have Devyn?”

“That happened when we were seniors. It was September. She had huge plans – she wanted to go to a good college and then go to med school. But when she got pregnant, obviously she couldn’t do that anymore. And we started fighting all the time. We used to be great friends but… We just drifted so far apart that by halfway through her pregnancy, I couldn’t stand even being in the same room as her.”

Alex pauses, almost pushing himself up from the bench. Jack follows his gaze, finding Devyn standing at the top of one of the slides. But the little boy manages to slide down safely, much to Alex’s relief, and the young father is able to continue with his story.

“Anyway, I had absolutely no plans to go to college, plus, my relationship with my grandparents was completely nonexistent. They were furious that I got a girl pregnant. And my brother had moved out a few years before so… I was just kind of struggling to get through school. College was never in my plans. So I told her that I would take care of Devyn while she went to school. And… well that’s basically what happened. He was born in June. She left at the end of August. Haven’t seen her since then.”

“Wait, so you… You’ve been raising him completely on your own?”

“Well, I have Zack and Rian. They’ve been my best friends since elementary school. They’re great – they take turns watching him while I’m at work and… I just couldn’t ask for better friends. They get me through everything.”

“Shit…I can’t believe you had to go through all of that. Without any family support. What about your brother? Where is he?”

“I told you – he’s in Japan. He calls. But… He has no idea about Devyn.”

Jack gapes at the younger boy, “Why wouldn’t you tell him? Maybe he could help you out-”

“I don’t want help, Jack. I can do this on my own. If he knew… He’d send money or even come back home and I don’t want him to do that. I want him to do what he’s doing and not have to worry about me. I’ve got everything under control right now. I get paid next week- I’ll be able to pay the rent. I’m getting by, Jack. I’m fine.”

Jack doesn’t fail to notice the amount of times that Alex tells him that he’s fine – it’s like he’s trying to convince not only Jack of this fact, but himself. “Well… Okay. I understand.” And really, Jack does understand. Sort of. But not really, at the same time. “But if you ever find that you’re not going to be able to make rent one month, please tell me? I’ll cover for you – I don’t want you to fall behind.”

“I appreciate that, Jack,” Alex nods and leans into the older man, “But right now everything’s good.”

“Okay.” Jack wraps his arm around Alex just as Devyn decides that he doesn’t want to play on the slide anymore.

He walks over, letting his feet drag as he goes, “Daddy I wanna go on the swings!” He throws himself dramatically into Alex’s legs, looking up at him with wide eyes and a pout, “Will you push me?”

“Sure, baby.” Alex moves to get up, but Jack stops him.

“I’ll do it. If-if that’s okay?”

Alex smiles brightly, “Sure. Devyn, Jack’s gonna push you, alright?”

“Okay!” The four year old beams at Jack and grabs onto his hand, “You push me first, and then I’ll push you!”

Jack laughs, “Sounds good. But I don’t think you’ll be able to – I’m too heavy!”

This morning, he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to handle being around a four year old and acting mature. But it’s not so bad – and Jack is willing to get used to it. Because Alex is amazing, and he doesn’t want to miss out on being with him.