These Situations

The park was only a five minute walk from the apartment, and none of us wanted to waste the gas to drive such a short distance, so we all agreed on walking. Brynnlee threw a bit of a fit since she didn't like walking very much. Shane volunteered to carry her the whole way.

“You really don't have to do that Shane, she has legs that are perfectly capable of carrying her.” I pointed my words towards my daughter. She diverted her eyes to the ground.

“Ron, I am fine,” he protested. “Besides, what's the point of going to the park if she is going to get crabby on the way there?”

Candy chuckled from beside Shane, her small frame shook with the sound. “You don't even know crabby with this one. She turns into child demon in one second flat. She gets it from her mom!”

My heart seized in my chest, the all too familiar feeling that struck whenever anyone mentioned anything to do with Brynnlee that could have been passed from parent to child. I prayed that my daughter never had a single trait from her father. Although she has facial features from him, she was 100 percent mine. No one would ever change that.

My mind began to wander, to places that were never to be explored again. Places that haunted my nightmares, and built walls so high that no sane person would ever try to climb. I could feel the constriction starting in my nerves, and reaching its greedy fingers towards my chest. My breathing became uneven, and tears burned my eyes. After a few more steps my feet decided to give out from underneath me. Panic rose in my veins, increasingly getting worse with each moment.

“Veronica!” Candice whirled around. Her fiery red hair blowing in all different directions. All amusement gone from her eyes. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking! Breathe, slowly. You can control this, it doesn't control you. In and out. There you go!”

As I did what I was told I could feel my heart rate slow to a steadier pace, and my breathing returned to normal. The tears still poured from my eyes, but there was no controlling that past that point. Candice encircled my body in a hug, nearly suffocating me all over again. She kept mumbling apologies into my ear. We both knew that it wasn't her fault, she couldn't sensor every word that came out of her mouth, no matter how hard she tried.

“Shane, could you walk ahead with Nixon and Brynn to the park?” Her words floated to Shane. He nodded in acceptance.

I took the time it took for them to look at my daughter, her blue eyes sparkled in the sun, but there were so many unanswered questions even for a three year old. Her mother falling to the ground in a fit of tears isn't good at any age. Candice helped me back to my feet, a solemn look on her face.

“You know that's not what I meant, right?” She finally broke the silence between us, I could only nod a reply. “Let's go. They have to be wondering about us.”

I was still shaky as I stood, my limbs felt like they had been made of jello. “Can, do you see a lot of him in her?”

“Of course not! Brynnlee is beautiful, and caring. Nothing like him,” she settled my nerves. We began to come up on the park. I could hear Brynnlee laughing as Shane chased her around the play set. Nixon stood off to the side, a smirk played on his thin lips. He was fairly attractive in that moment. But there was something hiding under his facade, a glint in his eyes showing the world that something deep down was bothering him.

It was still awkward and slightly uncomfortable to be around him, I hadn't thought much about the kiss from last week. Mainly, because of the three year old running around my house. But, when I was alone and I could feel the memory sneak up on my I would push it to the furthest recess of my mind, locking it away with everything else I never wanted to think about again. Terrence wasn't anywhere near as bad as the person I had hiding there, but I knew that I couldn't trust myself around him.

The wood chips began to crackle and snap under the pressure of our feet as we reached them. Three sets of eyes were focused on me, making my heart quicken. There had to be questions. Questions that may never be answered.

“Mommy uncle Shay is playing cops and robbers!” Brynnlee giggled as she skipped around the play set. Giggling up a storm. Shane ran a few paces behind her, purposely not catching up to her, a smile plastered a crossed his face.

“Are you worried how attached she gets to people?” Nixon asked from a few inches behind me. The sudden sound made me jump, I hadn't payed attention to him. “She did just meet Shane today, that doesn't bother you?”

I whipped around to face him. His questions hit a nerve, I couldn't stop the words as they poured out of my lips. “She is three, she doesn't know any better. If she wants to call him uncle Shay, then so be it. So long as you two don't run for the hills tomorrow, she can call you what she wants.”

Nixon held his hands up in a defensive manner. His green eyes showing a tinge of remorse. “Sorry, it was stupid of me to even ask.”

Candice put her hand on my shoulder, I turned to her. She smiled and winked signaling for me to calm down. I apologized to him, and in a very Nixon fashion he shrugged his shoulders and walked across the street to light a cigarette. Anger bit at the pit of my stomach making my irritation grow with each second. I forced myself to look away from the green eyed boy and back at my beautiful daughter.

We had spent at least an hour at the park, taking turns chasing Brynnlee around. Nixon even took a turn, he seemed genuinely happy as he ran after her. It was the first time I had heard him laugh. His laugh suited him well, it was deep like his voice, but didn't sound too rugged. Brynnlee took to Shane and Nixon very quickly, like Nixon had already pointed out. It made me happy that she seemed to have two men in her life, besides my father. I just hoped with all my might that they would be around for awhile if not for me, at least for her.

Candice ran off to the playground as Shane was running after Brynn trying to get her to swing for a bit. I heard Candy bribe her into swinging with the promise of a sucker and Candy swinging with her. Which we all knew Candy had no problem doing. She raced Brynnlee to the swings letting her win by a foot or two. Making Brynn throw her arms up in victory making everyone laugh. I suddenly realized we were the only one's at the park, not that any of us cared. More room for Brynnlee to wander without worry. Nixon took a seat next to me on the bench, sighing as he did so. I glanced in his direction giving him a questioning look. He took immediate notice and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His green eyes met mine, making my stomach do a back flip.

“I need to apologize,” he mumbled. My eyebrow raised ever so slightly. He began to clarify. “About last week, I am sorry about kissing you like that. I was drunk, and you were, uh, are beautiful. I thought with the wrong head, and I am sorry.”

I chuckled at his apology. “You don't have to be too sorry, I did kiss you back.”

His smirk slowly twisted his lips up. “So, can chalk it up to a drunk mistake, and forget it ever happened?”

A slight pain tugged at my heart. I forced a smile. “Deal.”

“Friends?”

“Friends.” I accepted. He smiled warmly at me, a certain glint passed through his eyes, I couldn't put my finger on it exactly.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, I checked the screen telling me it was a text message from Nora. 'Call me when you get a chance, it's important.'

I didn't know if she wanted to discuss this morning, or make plans to see Brynn again. I told Nixon I would be right back and walked towards the street, staying a few yards away from everyone, so it would be quiet enough for the call. I quickly punched in Nora's number. It rang three times before she answered.

“Hello, Veronica. We have a problem!” Her voice sounded stressed and aggravated. She began to ramble on incoherently. I couldn't understand anything she was saying.

“Nora, please I can't understand anything you are saying. Take a breath.” I heard her inhale and exhale. “Now, let's try this again. What's going on?”

“Ronni, sweetheart, it's Adam.” She finally spoke after a few more deep breaths. I could hear the pain in her voice, she didn't want to have to bring him up.

I looked up to see Nixon staring at me, concern etched into his features. I had to force myself to say the next sentence. “What about Adam?”

Nora started to sob on the other end of the phone. “They are releasing him, in two weeks.”

My heart was pounding in my ears, I couldn't breathe. There was no sound, just the thudding in my ears. Black splotches began to float around in my vision. I remember seeing Candice and Shane running after Brynnlee, and Nixon running towards me. Then it all went black.

I woke up to Candice, Shane and Nixon standing above me. All of them seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as my eyes opened. I could hear Brynnlee in the distance. I tried to sit up but my head began to swim, Candice reached out for me. I gently took her hand and sat up. Not quite trusting my legs yet.

“What in the hell happened?” Candy asked, pressing her hand to all the sides of my face. Checking for a fever. I reached up and gently pushed her hand away. “You scared the shit out of me! Out of us!”

I looked at Shane and Nixon, relief and worry showing in every feature. Shane winked with a smirk and turned to play with Brynnlee, hopefully keeping her occupied. Nixon must have decided that he didn't want to hover over me anymore and also got up to run around the playground with Brynn.

“Okay, spill what happened? You walked away, called someone then passed out! Seriously, what the hell?” Candice seemed like she was close to tears. I felt horrible for worrying them all.

Nora's words echoed in my mind. Adam was being released, and that scared the living shit out of me. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes as I mumbled told her. “It's Adam, he is being let out in two weeks.”

I heard Candice gasp. “He was supposed to be away for five more years. How?”

A few tears escaped my eyes, I shook my head, “I don't know, I hung up immediately after she said that.”

Candice reached around me and grabbed my cell phone. She pressed it into the palm of my hand. “Call her back, get the whole story. You need to know why, see if there is anything you can do to prevent it. Do it for Brynn.”

I nodded my head as I re-dialed Nora's number. Once again she answered right away. “Veronica Lee, you scared the hell out of me! Are you alright?”

A soft chuckle shook my shoulders. It's just like Nora to worry more about Brynn and I, than her own son. “I'm fine Nora, just had a freak out. I just needed to know more about What's happening. Why is he being released?”

She was silent for a few moments. I looked up to see Shane pushing Brynnlee on the swing, she giggled and cheered for him to push her higher. “He is going to be put on parole, for the remaining five years. Since he was sentenced to eight to ten years they have him in for four years and on parole for four, so long as he doesn't get in any trouble. In all honesty I don't want him out. He is just like his father, and he is not welcome at my house so long as you and Brynnlee are in my life. I am not giving either of you up.”

My heart couldn't decide if it wanted to be happy that Nora chose us, or fall through the floor at the news I just received. It decided pound against my chest making me feel like my heart was going to explode. “He's your son, Nora. If you need to be there, I understand.”

She sighed through the phone. “I only go to visit him, to make myself feel like a mother. I know I should stick by my son through anything, but I can't let go of you and Brynn. You are my life. He hasn't been my son for almost four years. You are my daughter, and Brynnlee is my grand-daughter. I love you!”

Tears were freely flowing from my eyes. “We love you too!” I cleared my throat as Brynnlee came running my way. “I gotta go Brynnlee is coming. You still want her to spend the night on Tuesday?”

“Of course! I will see you both Tuesday.” With that she disconnected. Brynnlee was standing in front of me. Worry apparent in her small features. It made my heart break.

“Mommy, I'm hungry!” She jumped slightly in her spot. I looked at the clock on my phone, it was after three in the afternoon.

“Alright baby. You want McDonald's?” She nodded her head. “Everyone else hungry?”

They all nodded. We made our way back to the apartment to grab a car. I still couldn't get over the information that I had just learned. There were precautions I would have to take to make sure that Brynnlee never saw him. I was not willing to let her get swept into his horrible life. I would die before he would ever see her.

No one besides Candice noticed that I had been spaced out. I had a lot to figure out, in a very short amount of time. I had no time for distractions.