Clemency

It was an ordinary Monday morning- or, as ordinary as things got for me. I was aching all over from the training with Carrick that had somehow become a daily occurrence, so sore that the stairs seemed insurmountable. I stared up at them warily, recognizing them for the first time as an irrefutable enemy.

"Jade!" Someone called my name and I let out my breath in relief. I turned and found Marie approaching me. "Jade, it's been ages since we've talked. How are you?" she asked with a friendly smile.

"I'm alright," I said, and winced. Lately, lying had bothered me more than ever. I felt physically uncomfortable whenever I did, or heard someone lie.

But Marie seemed unperturbed. "I was thinking, we should hang out sometime. I could use someone to help me pick out my homecoming dress. I've always admired your style. Are you free on Friday?"

I did my best to mask my surprise. My style? I didn't get dressed in the dark, but that didn't mean I was a fashionista. "I'm not really sure I'm the best person to help with that."

"Don't be silly. Can you make it?" I thought for a moment. Every afternoon I spent with Carrick, and in the evening it would be dark. I knew what Carrick would say- not to go, that it was too dangerous. Especially if he knew that it was Marie I was hanging out with, he would object.

Something about that knowledge made my decision for me. "Absolutely. When and where?"

I didn't tell Carrick about my plans, though it took a conscious effort on my part not to for the rest of the day. I knew that it would start another argument, and I hated fighting with him. Besides, some small part of me, one I wasn't very proud of, was enjoying this small defiance. He had no right, absolutely none, to come into my life by storm and take over. He couldn't control who I saw and where I went, not all the time.

Thinking along those lines, I managed to work myself into a comfortable mad. It made me feel surprisingly better. I was so focused on mentally bashing Carrick that I made it up the stairs almost without thinking of them, and that my guilt over disobeying Carrick dissipated.

I was so angry that I nearly ran into Carrick without seeing him. He sidestepped at the last moment with that natural grace that I had always envied. "Jade! You'd better watch out. Next you'll be walking into walls or taking a casual tumble down the stairs."

"Sorry," I mumbled reflexively, but I fixed him with a steady glare, the kind Aaron said could fell armies.

"What's going on? Is something wrong?" Carrick asked at once, immediately concerned.

"Nothing," I spat, then corrected myself because that was a lie. "Nothing that you want to hear about." There. That was honest enough. Carrick studied me and shook his head before gripping my wrist, firm but gentle so that I knew I wouldn't have bruises later. He pulled me down the hallway and to a staircase that was nearly never used. As usual, the hallway here was deserted.

"Tell me."

"I'm going shopping on Friday," I blurted, biting my tongue to keep from saying more.

Carrick frowned. "Alright. There's nothing wrong with that. A healthy social life is necessary for the mental health of today's teens," he said, sounding like he was reading from a text book. I made a face at him.

"You speak as if you aren't one, yourself." Carrick's face hardened, and I wondered what he was thinking. After that he fell silent, and we both sat companionably, leaning against the wall. Class would be starting soon, I thought vaguely. It didn't seem to matter just now. In fact, it was like all of my priorities got shuffled around whenever I was around Carrick. I wondered whether that was good or bad.

The bell signaling the start of class sounded and I glanced at Carrick. He didn't seem worried about it. I shrugged. I didn't mind a little rule-breaking now and then. It kept life interesting.

"I was thinking that we could take a break today," Carrick began not much later, breaking the silence. I glanced over at him, alarmed.

"Why?" This wasn't like him. The way Carrick acted, my defense lessons were vital. Besides, without them, when would I see him?

In every one of my classes, I answered myself sarcastically. Despite that, I didn't like the thought of going home to an empty house in the afternoon.

Carrick seemed amused by my obvious reluctance to take a day off. "Because I have somewhere I'd like to show you." My heart warmed and I found myself liking this idea of his much more.

"What place?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out." I opened my mouth to argue, but I could see from the obstinate set of his features that it would get me nowhere.

"Fine." I huffed dramatically and crossed my arms over my chest.

Carrick laughed. "Okay, brat. I don't think I've ever met anyone so impatient. Why don't we go now?" He stood and brushed off his pants, then held his hand out to me, looking expectant.

"I've never skipped school before."

"What, are you afraid of getting in trouble? Because at this point, Jade, it would be worse for you to head straight to class. You have absolutely no excuse for not being there."

"You make a valid point. Let's go. But you'd better buy me something to eat on the way to wherever we're going. I skipped breakfast."

Now Carrick looked disapproving. "That's not healthy, Jade."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks, Mom."

Thankfully, Carrick did as I asked, and stopped at a bagel shop that was conveniently just next to the freeway ramp. Though I protested, wanting him to go somewhere that sold doughnuts or some other deliciously fried dough, he refused. He was more concerned by far about my health than I was. And who was I to complain about that? I knew his heart was in the right place.

Knowing that Carrick would under no circumstance break down and tell me our destination didn't stop me from badgering him the entire way there. Carrick was in an unusually cheerful mood, so he laughed it off.

Long after I had lost track of where we were- not that it took much in this region that was still so unfamiliar to me, Carrick finally got off the freeway and started navigating whatever town we were in with the confidence of a resident.

"Did you live here, once?" I asked. Carrick's head snapped in my direction, and I could tell he was surprised I'd asked.

"Yeah, I did. A long, long time ago." Carrick looked out the window again, and it seemed like he wasn't really here, not with me. His eyes were on the past. I decided not to push it, though I was burning with questions, and managed to keep silent until he came to a stop in an abandoned looking parking lot with a path that led to the sea.

"I didn't realize how close we were to the ocean," I breathed, and got out of the car with my eyes fixed on the waves. "I've never seen an ocean before."

"Never?" Carrick asked, and I could tell he was surprised by this.

"Not once." I glanced at him briefly before starting down the path. It smelled strange. Faintly of fish, but there was something else there that made the scent strangely appealing. "I don't think I wore the right shoes for this," I muttered with a laugh. My poor suede moccasins didn't stand a chance here. They were already coated in grainy white sand.

"Then kick them off. We have hours to kill and nowhere to be." Carrick smiled as he watched me take his advice. The sand was strangely cool under my bare toes. I liked the feeling. I liked it a lot.

"Let's have a race," I suggested. Carrick glanced at me and bolted off. I chased after him. "Hey! We weren't starting yet!"

"Ever heard the expression 'you snooze, you lose?'" was his reply. I pushed myself faster, and no one was more surprised than me when I surged ahead of him, going so fast I was practically flying over the sand. I leapt over a chunk of driftwood, soaring past it. The world was a blur of color around me. I laughed gleefully and pushed myself to go even faster.

"Jade! Jade, stop!" I was vaguely aware of Carrick's voice calling out to me from somewhere far behind. "Come back!" I came to a halt and turned around. I felt my grin freeze.

How could I have possibly traveled so far, so fast? Carrick was little more than a spec on the horizon. My knees gave out and I collapsed in a heap on the sand. Carrick sprinted over to me, then sat down.

"Jade," he said quietly. I stared pointedly at the ground. "Jade," he repeated, and nudged my shoulder with his own. "What are you thinking?"

"I won." I laughed, then caught sight of his expression and laughed even harder.

Carrick looked at me like I was crazy for a long moment before joining in. "You did. But I bet you can't beat me twice." He sprang to his feet and started sprinting down the beach again.

"Well, I'm always up for a challenge," I muttered to myself, and ran after him again.