DaySleeper

I wake up in the early afternoon the next day. Maggie is sifting through a bag, sitting on the bunk across from me. Some people are scattered around the huge room.

“They’ll be moving you into wing D in awhile,” she says, “The YA wing.”

“YA?” I ask.

“Young Adult,” she replies.

“Where am I now?” I ask.

“Women with children wing,” she says, “Wing C.”

“Nice,” I mutter, sitting up fully and dropping my legs over the edge of the bed.

“You want some food?” she asks me. I shrug.

“What did you bring me?” I ask instead. She eyes me, and then the bag.

“Clothes, mostly. Some necessities.” She says.

“Where’d you get them?” I ask her.

“Oh, I have a collection of things for people,” she says, “Most of these were donated by friends.”

I nod and accept the trash bag. I cross my legs and pull the bag up next to me. Inside, I find deodorant, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, three pairs of skinny jeans and five plain v-neck tee-shirts.

I raise my eyebrow. She shrugs.

“You seemed the type.” She says.

“I am, but I don’t know if I’ll fit a 23,” I say, staring at the tags.

“Yeah,” she says, “I am pretty sure you will. Seeing as your BMI is probably something like a 15.”

I stare at her.

“Try them on!” she insists. I stand and pull down my sweatpants.

“Don’t look,” I say. She rolls her eyes and covers them dramatically. I kick off the sweats and pull the jeans on.

“I don’t think I’ve fit into a 23 since I was like… 14,” I say.

“Well, you do now,” she says, looking at me. “Spin,” she orders. I twirl slowly, sighing. “Nice ass,” she compliments.

“Shut up!” I demand. She laughs. A girl walking in whistles at me. I turn red.

“Come on, hot stuff,” she says, “Let’s go get some food.”

I nod and follow her out.

~~
Maggie and I are sitting at a table by ourselves. I stare at my food, not even half eaten.

“I'm full,” I admit. Maggie nods.

“Okay,” she says, “That’s fine. Just don’t continue this habit, yeah?”

I nod, just as a girl falls into the seat next to me. She has a black eye.

“Hi, Maggie,” she says. Maggie smiles sadly at her.

“Went back again?” she asks.

“Only to pick up my stuff,” the girl says. Maggie eyes her.

“I’ll believe you for now,” Maggie replies. I look between the two.

“Hi,” the girl says to me, “I am Alice.”

I stare at her outstretched hand. I pick up my cast and she drops her hand.

“Sorry,” she laughs. I smile.

“Cadence,” I say.

“Isn’t that a girl’s—”

“Yeah.”

“Anyways,” Maggie says, standing, “I have to go now. Tell me if you outgrow the jeans.”

“How?” I ask her, turning in my seat as she walks away.

“I volunteer here, honey,” she calls over her shoulder, “Take care!”

“First day?” Alice asks.

“Yeah,” I reply.

“I’ve had five first days here,” she admits. I stare at her in shock. “I know, right?” she states. I turn back and lean into the table.

“Why?” I ask.

“Why’d you stay in the first place?”

“Point.”

~~
Alice shows me around. She takes me through Wing A, which is right next to the main office, where we’re not allowed. Wing A is for single women. Wing D, where Alice is staying, and I am moving to, is for 15-21 only. It’s one of the larger wings, apparently because a lot of young people come here either from abusive relationships, or with parents who are getting out. Wing C is strictly for women with children. It’s the only wing bigger than D, mainly because there has to be bunk beds for the kids. The children are all at school right now, so it’s quiet. Apparently. Wing B is the final wing, for medical needs. That’s where people stay when they’re sick, or if they need space to heal. It’s not used often, apparently. Alice says that people either go back or they stay in the hospital. By the time we’re finished, a bed in Wing D is officially open. Alice helps me carry my trash bag to my new bed.
“I want my blanket,” I murmur, lying down in the bed. A small twin, pushed up against the wall.

“You should go get it,” Alice says from her bed.

“I don’t know when he’ll be gone,” I reply.

“You can’t be afraid of him,” she points out, “I was afraid of Ben for two years. I went home to get some stuff when I wasn’t sure if he’d be there, and he hit me, and I hit him back. First time ever.”

“Kane wouldn’t let me leave,” I mutter.

“He can’t keep you in,” she says.

“Yes, he can.” I say. “Anyways, I’ll wait for when I know he’ll be out. That way I will not have to be worried about seeing him. I don’t want to.”

“Maggie will take you,” Alice says. I nod, and curl up. Alice glances at her watch. “I am going to go meet the kids,” she says, “Want to come?”

“I am going to sleep for awhile. Introduce me to the good ones at dinner, yeah?” I ask.

“Definitely,” she says and messes with my hair. I bat her hands away and pull the covers over my head.

~~
“Dude,” someone’s saying, shaking me. I make an unattractive noise.

“Hmm?” I mumble, looking up. A teenage boy, maybe 16 is standing above me.

“You’re—You’re missing dinner,” he says. I nod and sit up.

“Thanks,” I say. He nods and rushes from the room. I stare after him. After a moment, I stand and pull my sweat pants over my jeans, and mess with my hair. It’s gotten too long.
I reach the dining hall, and the smell of food repulses me. I go back into the D wing and grab a sweater. I need some fresh air.

~~
I walked all the way to a familiar intersection. I am two blocks from our house. I’ve been sitting out here for maybe half an hour, maybe a full hour, when a familiar voice hits my ears.

“Cadence?!”

I turn and see Kane approaching me. My heart sinks into the bottom of my stomach and jumps all at once. He falls to his knees in front of me and holds me to him. This has to be a dream, or maybe a nightmare. But this can’t be reality.

“What are you doing out here?” I ask him, my arms shaking as they hold him back.

“I was just walking,” he admits, “I am so glad I did though!”

I open my mouth to speak. Is this a sign? You don’t just ‘find’ people randomly.

“I love you, so fucking much, Cade,” he says, “I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone as much as you. I don’t think I ever could. I am so sorry. Please—Please, I need you. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You mean so much to me, and if I lose you because I am a dick, I’ll hate myself forever. I’ll fucking die. I’ll kill myself. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I never meant it. I love you.”

He’s crying now. I grab his cheek in my hand and stare at him. The bruise is gone now, only scratches remain. I pull him to me.

“I love you too,” I say.

“Please—please come home,” he begs, clutching my shoulders. My heart sinks again. Cars are a blur in my peripheral vision.

“You have to promise,” I murmur, “You have to swear to me that you’ll stop. I can’t live like this, Kane.”

“I know,” he says, into my neck, “I love you. I am going to stop. I’ll go to counseling for you. I’ll do anything for you.”

I nod vigorously. This man loves me. No one else really does. I need to work it out with him. I love him.

“You’ll come back?” he asks.

“Of course,” I say, lifting my head and looking to him. He leans in quickly and catches my lips. My stomach flutters, and I wonder if it’s the good kind or not.