‹ Prequel: I Remember the Day You Were Born
Status: complete
DaySleeper
twenty one
I feel like a child. I lay awake in bed, and dissect my thoughts, trying to figure out why I reacted like that. I mean, it was humiliating. Avid didn’t speak to me the rest of the day, which was fine, considering, but still sucked. Alice can be childish. He’s refreshing.
But at the same time, I was so scared of him that the rush of adrenaline made me lose consciousness.
Am I afraid of Avid? Is it that he’s a man, or is it that he’s Avid? I bite my lip, hard, and hate Kane a fraction more for breaking me. I never thought I’d be broken. I never thought that anyone would have such control over me, to the point that even when he’s not around, he ruins everything. I don’t want it. I wish we’d never met.
I wish I was with Warner. He’d know what to do. We’d just lay in his coffin, dead and peaceful as can be, and I’d be fine forever, because Kane would never find me there, under the ground, in a dead, cold brain. He wouldn’t control me, ever again. I’d be so perfect. Eventually I’d be bones. Perfect, white, thin, bones, and no one hates bones. No one hurts bones. Bones don’t feel anything. Bones aren’t people. Bones don’t talk back, do the wrong thing, over and over and over and bones don’t deserve it every time. Bones don’t take advantage of people and call it life until other bones take advantage of them and then cry about it. Bones are mature and worldly, and at the same time simple. No one wants to hurt bones.
No one would come looking for bones.
No one would beg for bones to come back.
No one would promise bones that they’d be better, that they loved them.
Bones aren’t stupid. They wouldn’t believe that someone could love them. No one loves bones. No one even pretends to.
I don’t realize I am sobbing until Alice is wrapped around me, and the lights are on, Kyle standing in the doorway, confused and tired and scared.
Bones don’t cause scenes. Bones aren’t scared of anything.
Rebecca sits up now and stares at me.
Bones wouldn’t love anyone. Bones wouldn’t feel bad to upset anyone, because bones can’t upset anyone, and bones don’t have feelings.
I wish I was bones, buried secretly in the backyard of that house. No one would come looking for bones.
But at the same time, I was so scared of him that the rush of adrenaline made me lose consciousness.
Am I afraid of Avid? Is it that he’s a man, or is it that he’s Avid? I bite my lip, hard, and hate Kane a fraction more for breaking me. I never thought I’d be broken. I never thought that anyone would have such control over me, to the point that even when he’s not around, he ruins everything. I don’t want it. I wish we’d never met.
I wish I was with Warner. He’d know what to do. We’d just lay in his coffin, dead and peaceful as can be, and I’d be fine forever, because Kane would never find me there, under the ground, in a dead, cold brain. He wouldn’t control me, ever again. I’d be so perfect. Eventually I’d be bones. Perfect, white, thin, bones, and no one hates bones. No one hurts bones. Bones don’t feel anything. Bones aren’t people. Bones don’t talk back, do the wrong thing, over and over and over and bones don’t deserve it every time. Bones don’t take advantage of people and call it life until other bones take advantage of them and then cry about it. Bones are mature and worldly, and at the same time simple. No one wants to hurt bones.
No one would come looking for bones.
No one would beg for bones to come back.
No one would promise bones that they’d be better, that they loved them.
Bones aren’t stupid. They wouldn’t believe that someone could love them. No one loves bones. No one even pretends to.
I don’t realize I am sobbing until Alice is wrapped around me, and the lights are on, Kyle standing in the doorway, confused and tired and scared.
Bones don’t cause scenes. Bones aren’t scared of anything.
Rebecca sits up now and stares at me.
Bones wouldn’t love anyone. Bones wouldn’t feel bad to upset anyone, because bones can’t upset anyone, and bones don’t have feelings.
I wish I was bones, buried secretly in the backyard of that house. No one would come looking for bones.
♠ ♠ ♠
five comments = a week wait. Tsk tsk.also, a few people were confused about what happened with Cadence. For some people (including myself) a very sudden shock of adrenaline will make them black out. I usually fall and get hurt when I do this.
Regardless, a short chapter (but one of my favorites, tbh).
Thanks to holly.is.awkward, I'd Rather Regret., Lovecrush1, Stickers.Attack.Face, and Gates of Delirium for commenting!