I'm In Love With My Best Friend, But He Doesn't Even Know I'm Gay.

Ryan POV

****Later That Night****

Okay... ...
okay.
oky.
okkkkk...
I am just a wee itsy bit driunk. Oh My! Even my thought is misspelled. *hiccup*

“Ryan? Yo, you are wasted.” I squinted into the light as my sister leaned into me, her face a rosy red from laughter and her eyes slightly glossed over. She blinked at me and kissed my forehead.

“I’m going to go fuck Gabriel. Do NOT need me.” She laughed loudly and grabbed Gabe’s hand, leading him out of the room. During this whole interaction I just sat there staring briefly at my sister, then to Gabe, then to Kat, then to the cat in the corner, then to Brendon, then to the cat again. Everything was soooooooooooo slow. I lifted my hand in front of my face. It came slowly at first then way too fast and hit me hard.

“Ow...”I pouted.

Ross, get ahold of yourself. Get up. Move those feet.

My thoughts were not attached to my legs and nothing could get me up from my very cozy position.
Aw..shit. I have GOT to pee!

I slowly and very carefully got up from the chair, steadying myself on the table in front of me and pushing up. Whoa. It’s really high up here..

Soon I was stumbling to the bathroom, grabbing hold of the walls, curtains, lamps, anything I could use to steady myself even though I knocked a few pictures down and possibly broke the gold lamp.. I’ll check in the morning.

After pissing for what seemed like an hour, I zipped up Jr. and washed my hands. After washing them, I cupped my hands and splashed the cold water on my face. Instantly I felt better as a small sobering wave of clarity washed over me. Everything was still fuzzy, my head was feeling either very hollow or full of lead, I couldn’t tell. I left the bathroom and stumbled back to the living room without needing support from the wall. As I walked in I scanned the room for Brendon, worried he would be either just as bad or worse than me. However, when my eyes landed on him he was sitting in his father’s chair, ipod in his ears, and a book in front of him.

“Bren? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” I slurred and plopped down in his lap. He smiled and absentmindedly ran his fingers through my hair. That motion made me want to lay my head down and drift off. Before I could Brendon spoke up.

“You had a lot to drink tonight Ry. Do you remember what happened earlier?” He smiled at me as he spoke but I saw the sadness in his eyes. I gulped. Oh no, when I get drunk I tend to ... well, not think.
“Uhh.. not really Bren Bear. I remember Gabe and William getting here, shots being made, a game of Circle of Death and then... nothing.” Although I faintly remembered hearing Pete’s name I thought that was my imagination.

“Well, after your game, you were pretty much shit faced. Pete showed up and he doesn’t know about us. And Pete being...Pete... he kissed you.” Brendon tensed up as he finished his sentence and his jaw flexed with anger. I gasped and moved my hand to my mouth.

Nice job fucktard.

No! I don’t remember!

Your boyfriend does. Your in deep shit....

I shook my head to get this damn annoying voice out of my mind. My head was spinning, my throat was dry and tears had spilt onto my cheek. Brendon lifted his hand to wipe my tears away as I was apologizing to him and that’s when I noticed his hand.

“Brendon! Oh My Gee! What happened to your hand?” Brendon had a few gashes and a lot of dried blood on his hand and he quickly moved it, trying to push the sight away. I glanced up and saw Kat watching us, a slightly amused smile on her face. William was nowhere to be found. Probably left with Pete or made Pete leave. He was closer than the rest of us were to Pete.

Brendon sighed and brushed my hair out of my face. “I punched him. Actually I beat the hell out of him. ...Until William pulled me off and shouted at Pete to leave. But then he took him out the door. They have been gone awhile now. Soon after that you passed out. Maybe thirty minutes ago.”

Now Kat’s grin was full-fledged and I realized she was trying hard not to interrupt the conversation to tell me herself. I smiled at her and turned my attention back to Brendon. How could I have been so stupid?

“I am so sorry Bre--” But Brendon cut me off before I could continue.

“No babe, I’m not mad at you. Pete is a douche and well... my hand really fucking hurts.” He poked his lips out in a pout and exhaled slowly. I burst out laughing, still feeling the affects of the alcohol.

“That’s why you are so upset? Aww you poor baby.” I held his hand up and kissed it tenderly, letting my emotions roll off me and project into that note of affection. When I looked up Brendon was staring at me longingly. He smirked slightly and pulled me closer to him.

“Everytyhing is better with you Ry.” He kissed me gently and took my hand, leading me to the bedroom. Once there we shed to our boxers and hopped under the covers. I put my arms around Brendon and he laid his head on my chest, making circles on my stomach as we talked slowly and sang ourselves to sleep.