When You Smile, I Melt Inside
Four
Something was troubling Them, I thought.
Them being Gwen and her posse.
Maybe it was just being around some people for once, human interaction was something I usually avoided as it springs feelings. Like right now, when Mark kissed me, so many new feelings flooded into my head. I wanted to push him away, but another part of me wanted to pull him closer. Eventually I didn't have to decide as he pulled himself away and smiled back at me. I smiled back as convincingly as I could. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.
"I love you Nona."
It sent shivers up my spine; no one had ever said that to me, since my parents died. I missed the way the words flowed together to form a sentence that made everything better. I nodded back to him and he took my hand.
They weren't bugging me today; they kept their distance and just stared, except one. I can't remember his name but he looked sad almost as he stared at me, but quickly shook it off and called the attention of the rest of the group.
This boy, there was something about him, something I should remember, but I can't. I racked my brain all through first and second period, but nothing, not a single memory of him. This was going to kill me.
Going into lunch was the worst. I felt like where ever I went people stared at me, they avoided me like I was the plague. Now usually this wouldn't bother me, because I never paid attention. But now that I look around and see all of the faces I noticed something. I know almost all of these people, we all grew up together, went to the same elementary schools, played at the same parks, but I never really talked to any of them. Actually now that I think of it, I hardly talked to anyone. No wonder it feels like I'm not forgetting much, what is there to forget?
That's when I saw him again, the boy from this morning only this time he wasn't with Gwen and he wasn't frowning. He was smiling, and he was heading straight towards me.
"NONA!" he called over all the noise in the cafeteria. Mark and Travis gave me a look but I nodded and smiled at them and they continued to the table. The boy ran up to me and smiled again. I have to say he was gorgeous. Shoulder length dirty blonde hair, and an awesome smile.
"Hi" He smiled again at me. Something in my head sparked.
Tom, his name was Tom. That's all I could remember. There was something else, as I looked at him I could feel it, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.
"Read it by yourself" he said and turned and walked away. I stared at the paper for a long time before stuffing it into my pocket and joining Travis and Mark.
"What did he want?" Mark said rather angrily.
"To see how I'm doing." I lied. What am I lying for? I need to read that paper. "Will you excuse me for a sec, I have to use the bathroom."
Travis snickered at that and Mark glared at him. I half ran to the washroom and locked the door behind me. It was empty as always, and that was exactly what I wanted. Carefully, I took the note out of my pocket and unfolded it.
Nona,
I know it's kind of sudden and I know you're dating that Mark guy. But I was wondering if maybe you would want to hang out sometime. We don't have to call it a date. We could call it 'friends with benefits' or whatever. I've liked you for a really long time and I even wrote you this. Tell me your answer whenever you want.
Love, Tom
Before I say too much
Please just know that I'm not obsessed
Or so nearly depressed, or anything like that
Please hear what I have to say
Cause I don't feel this way everyday
As a matter of fact
I've never had this feeling before
And I'd like to feel it more
So can I stare as you ascend the stairs
Now are you aware
That I fell into your eyes
At first sight
Is it out of the question?
Is it in the cards?
For me to ask you this one question
Can we go, can we go
And I know it sounds absurd
And I know we've never spoke a word
And I know this must sound strange to you
But I just can't stop thinking of you
Is it out of the question?
Is it in the cards?
For me to ask you this one question
Can we go, can we go out?
I read and re-read the letter before making up my mind. I left the bathroom and ran towards the cafeteria.
Them being Gwen and her posse.
Maybe it was just being around some people for once, human interaction was something I usually avoided as it springs feelings. Like right now, when Mark kissed me, so many new feelings flooded into my head. I wanted to push him away, but another part of me wanted to pull him closer. Eventually I didn't have to decide as he pulled himself away and smiled back at me. I smiled back as convincingly as I could. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.
"I love you Nona."
It sent shivers up my spine; no one had ever said that to me, since my parents died. I missed the way the words flowed together to form a sentence that made everything better. I nodded back to him and he took my hand.
They weren't bugging me today; they kept their distance and just stared, except one. I can't remember his name but he looked sad almost as he stared at me, but quickly shook it off and called the attention of the rest of the group.
This boy, there was something about him, something I should remember, but I can't. I racked my brain all through first and second period, but nothing, not a single memory of him. This was going to kill me.
Going into lunch was the worst. I felt like where ever I went people stared at me, they avoided me like I was the plague. Now usually this wouldn't bother me, because I never paid attention. But now that I look around and see all of the faces I noticed something. I know almost all of these people, we all grew up together, went to the same elementary schools, played at the same parks, but I never really talked to any of them. Actually now that I think of it, I hardly talked to anyone. No wonder it feels like I'm not forgetting much, what is there to forget?
That's when I saw him again, the boy from this morning only this time he wasn't with Gwen and he wasn't frowning. He was smiling, and he was heading straight towards me.
"NONA!" he called over all the noise in the cafeteria. Mark and Travis gave me a look but I nodded and smiled at them and they continued to the table. The boy ran up to me and smiled again. I have to say he was gorgeous. Shoulder length dirty blonde hair, and an awesome smile.
"Hi" He smiled again at me. Something in my head sparked.
Tom, his name was Tom. That's all I could remember. There was something else, as I looked at him I could feel it, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.
"Read it by yourself" he said and turned and walked away. I stared at the paper for a long time before stuffing it into my pocket and joining Travis and Mark.
"What did he want?" Mark said rather angrily.
"To see how I'm doing." I lied. What am I lying for? I need to read that paper. "Will you excuse me for a sec, I have to use the bathroom."
Travis snickered at that and Mark glared at him. I half ran to the washroom and locked the door behind me. It was empty as always, and that was exactly what I wanted. Carefully, I took the note out of my pocket and unfolded it.
Nona,
I know it's kind of sudden and I know you're dating that Mark guy. But I was wondering if maybe you would want to hang out sometime. We don't have to call it a date. We could call it 'friends with benefits' or whatever. I've liked you for a really long time and I even wrote you this. Tell me your answer whenever you want.
Love, Tom
Before I say too much
Please just know that I'm not obsessed
Or so nearly depressed, or anything like that
Please hear what I have to say
Cause I don't feel this way everyday
As a matter of fact
I've never had this feeling before
And I'd like to feel it more
So can I stare as you ascend the stairs
Now are you aware
That I fell into your eyes
At first sight
Is it out of the question?
Is it in the cards?
For me to ask you this one question
Can we go, can we go
And I know it sounds absurd
And I know we've never spoke a word
And I know this must sound strange to you
But I just can't stop thinking of you
Is it out of the question?
Is it in the cards?
For me to ask you this one question
Can we go, can we go out?
I read and re-read the letter before making up my mind. I left the bathroom and ran towards the cafeteria.