I'm in Love With You, Are You in Love With Me Too?

I woke up the next morning with the worst headache in the world. I opened my eyes and instantly regretted it as light flooded my eyes and made the pounding in my head even worse. I looked around confused, trying to figure out where I was and why my neck hurt so bad, and then I realized that I was sleeping on the couch. That would explain it.

I sat up slowly and tried to remember everything that had happened the night before. I remembered the beginning of the party and how everything had been going great. But then I remembered what I had seen Nick doing and everything else flooded back to me, with the exception of how I ended up sleeping on the couch. But I had a feeling that might have been due to a large consumption of alcohol based on my current hangover.

I stood up and went to take a shower, trying to wash everything away. I felt somewhat refreshed afterward, and definitely clean, but nothing else was better. It was only the third day since I had moved to Arizona and things were turning to shit already.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen after taking some aspirin and getting dressed so I could make some coffee. I sat down at the kitchen table with my coffee and tried to clear my head. It wasn’t working very well.

I was lost in thought when my phone started ringing. I followed the sound and found my phone lying on the floor next to the TV stand. By the time I actually found it, my phone had stopped ringing.

It was just as well because when I checked the missed call listing it said that it was Nick, and I did not want to talk to him anyways. But apparently he really wanted to talk to me because I had 13 missed calls and 28 messages. I couldn’t believe there were already so many after just one night.

With my phone in my hand I sat down on the couch and sighed. I still couldn’t believe that Nick had done that. Seeing that made me wonder if he had been cheating on me the whole time I had been gone. I thought we had been making it work when I was in Chicago. I mean, yeah it was hard, any long distance relationship was, but we had talked all the time, and I just loved him so much that I guess I might have been blinded by other things. I never even thought about being with another guy, and that was saying a lot for me.

I was definitely a partier and I liked to have sex. It was as simple as that. I had never really been tied down in a serious relationship until I met Nick when I was in Arizona. I never expected to fall for him so hard and fast but it had happened. And I was so fucking happy about it that I didn’t want to ruin it. But apparently he didn’t feel the same way.

I curled up into a ball, leaning against the side of the couch, and started crying. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. I still loved Nick so fucking much and I just wanted to stop because of what he had done, but I knew it wasn’t possible right at that moment, and I was beginning to doubt if it would be possible at all.

I was still crying when I saw movement in the kitchen and I tried to wipe my tears before they could see me. I sniffled and wiped and wiped at my face, but somehow the tears were still coming out. And it was really fucking annoying.

I was just about to get up and go back into my bedroom so I could at least cry in peace if I couldn’t stop completely when John sat down next to me on the couch. I glanced at him quickly and tried to wipe my tears more.

He didn’t say anything; he just looked at me for a second before wrapping his arms around me, hugging me tight. It felt good to have someone’s arms around me, and I sort of felt protected, as if things were going to be okay, even if just for that moment. It actually calmed me down a lot and I was able to stop crying.

“Thanks John,” I whispered into his chest once the flow of tears had finally halted.

“Listen to me Jordanne,” he started, holding me out at arm’s length so he could look at me while he was talking to me. “I don’t think Nick meant it. I know the guy and he is not a cheater. I really think you should talk to him, at least give him a chance to explain. I’m not saying you have to, and ultimately it is up to you and only you, but I’m just giving you my opinion, okay? And I’m definitely going to talk to him and beat some sense into his dumb ass for hurting a great girl like you, even if it was unintentional.”

I couldn’t help but giggle at how protective John was being, and at the fact that he would beat up one of his good friends for me. It was like he was my big brother or something.

“There. There’s that smile.” He smiled back at me and I smiled even wider, his smile was contagious. John was amazing and I was so so happy that my best friend had found a guy like him. I just wished that my boyfriend, ex-boyfriend?, could be like that.

“Thanks John.”

“Anytime Jordanne.” He stood up and walked back down the hallway towards Kahlen’s room. I stared after him and sighed again as my phone started ringing.

I glanced down at the screen and it didn’t surprise me one bit when Nick’s name popped up. I hit the ignore button. I had listened to what John said, but I still wasn’t quite ready to talk to him. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few days, but definitely not today.

A couple minutes later my phone beeped, signaling that I had a new voicemail to add to the rest of them. I decided that I could at least check those now.

First I checked my text messages; there were quite a few of those. They were all from Nick. Some of them said sorry, some of them asked if we could talk, and they all said I love you.

The text messages meant nothing to me and I deleted them right away. But then I listened to the voicemails. Again, they were all from Nick. The first couple were frantic, pleading messages, telling me how sorry he was and how it meant nothing and he wanted to talk to me and he loved me. After that they got to be sadder and sadder, and I could hear the misery in his voice.

The last one, the one from just a couple minutes ago, was the worst. His voice sounded terrible and I could tell that he had been crying.

Jordanne, please talk to me. I’ve been up all night. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything but think about you. I swear to you that that kiss meant absolutely nothing. Baby I love you so much. There was a pause and I heard sniffles. I just want to see you and explain things to you in person. I just want to hold you in my arms again and kiss you. I love you so much, so fucking much Jordanne. Please. I need you. There was a pause and a sigh. Please.

He sounded so defeated as the message ended and it almost made me feel bad for him. Almost, but not quite. He was still the one who had kissed another girl. It was his fault that it was like this, not mine.