You Are Loved, Baby.

"Nissa!" Johnny greeted as Brian, the boys and I walked into a cute restaurant situated on Main Street.
"Johnny!" I grinned and released Bronx's hand when he attempted to run over to the 5"4 bassist.
"Hey kiddo!" Johnny called to Bronx as he scooped the five year old up and into his arms, "How've you been?" He questioned while helping Bronx sit down at long table where everyone else was seated.
"Hey everyone," I greeted nervously, shifting Blaik in my arms as Brian guided me over to the table with his hand on my lower back.
The rest of the band, Leana, Lacy and Gena said their hellos with huge smiles and warm welcomes. I was more than slightly relieved when I didn't see either of the twins sitting at the table but I was still nervous that anyone else would be furious with me either for having an affair with Brian or not telling him about our baby.
"How have you been, Nissa?" Gena asked me, reaching over and pulling Blaik from my arms while cooing at him.
I shrugged, "I've been fine. What about you Gena?" I questioned, laughing as the other women made faces at Blaik as well.
Gena grinned at me as she replied, "I'm great!" She cheered, her usually bubbly personality shocking me because of this situation between everyone else and myself, "Blaik is so adorable, by the way."
Brian laughed, "I know," He said, smiling at his son as he laid in Gena's arms happily.
Everyone at the table laughed.

It seemed that the tension had been broken and yet I still felt as if everything was off. Or at least, I wanted to. I started to feel even more guilty than normal. I had taken over Michelle's life. Here I was sitting with her friends, her family while she was probably off some where feeling terrible and betrayed by the one person she thought she could always count on.
I sighed and looked around at the group. Matt was here, which was something that shocked me seeing as he had been with Valary for a very long time and she wasn't here. I watched the group as they laughed and smiled and cooed at Blaik who was now sitting in an age appropriate highchair.

Brian seemed to be glowing. He watched his son with a devoted intensity, a smile on his face. But the longer I watched him the more I noticed, like how when he thought no one was looking that his smile would drop from his thin lips for only a minute. Brian was seemingly okay with the fact that Michelle had walked right out of his life, but I soon realized that it was just a facade. Brian's eyes would shine when he looked at his child, but only then did he seem alright. He would run his fingers through his hair and sigh quietly. I had thought earlier that it was almost inconceivable that he could be just as okay as he was acting. But as we sat through dinner with his friends, his family, I realized that Brian was just being strong. For himself or anyone else, I didn't know. All I knew was that he'd need someone to understand what he was going through, and no matter what I'd be that person who he could rely on.

Around 6:45 everyone was beginning to put their jackets back on so that they could go home. "You ready to go, Niss?" Brian asked softly as he pulled Blaik up into his arms and let him continue to sleep.
I nodded, "Just a minute, Brian." And went over to where Gena was say goodbye to Lacy. They both turned their attention to me as I approached. "Can I talk to you two for just a minute?" I questioned, turning my attention away for a moment when Bronx ran over to me. I crouched down beside him, "What's up, baby?"
"Mommy, do we have to go?" He whined.
I nodded, "Yes we do, you have school in the morning, Bronx Carson." I told him firmly, laughing with the other women as he groaned loudly and stomped his way over to Brian, who took him by the hand.

"You were saying?" Lacy asked.
I took a deep breath, "I just want to say sorry," I murmured, "I never met for anything to happen with Brian and I. I didn't think at all during my time with him. But I just want to reassure you both that nothing is going on between Brian and I, right now. He's just here for his son. Promise." I said with a firm nod. Knowing that the guys could hear me as well.
Gena shrugged, "Thanks for apologizing, you and Brian tore our little family apart." She whispered, "We were happy, or at least I thought we all were."
Lacy stepped in, "Don't promise that nothing is going to happen between you and Brian. We all know that you said that once before. Plus, you two have a bond now, I can see it. I think that the two of you are good for each other. You already have a son together." Lacy shrugged and mumbled something about it all being too real.
I was caught off guard, not sure if "you two are good for each other" was a compliment or an insult directed towards me and how I had acted. But I became side tracked as Bronx began to whine again and Blaik started to act fussy in Brian's arms as a result.
"Bronx Carson Chambers shut your mouth before you wake up your brother." I demanded, pointing a finger at the blonde haired boy. He crossed his arms with a huff as the guys and girls chuckled.
"Just know that I'm sorry," I directed at everyone excluding Brian as I turned around and walked back over to Brian, Blaik, and Bronx. I lifted Bronx into my arms after I zipped up his jacket.
"Lets go," Brian told me with a small smile as he said his goodbyes to everyone as I did the same.