You Are Loved, Baby.

Brian helped me put both boys to bed when we got back to my place and even when they were teetering on the end of consciousness he stuck around to make sure that the beginning on the night went smoothly.

"You did well at dinner tonight, Niss," Brian murmured as he pulled his jacket on, getting ready to leave after he, Juliann, and I watched a movie while waiting for the boys to sleep.

Juliann had gotten up and disappeared downstairs after sensing that Brian and I needed a moment alone to talk about somethings. He had kissed my cheek and said goodnight to Brian before racing down the stairs noisily.

"Thanks," I murmured to Brian after Junior was gone, wondering how to approach the subject in my mind, "I feel terrible about all of this. You know that, don't you?"

Brian nodded, "Of course I do. I feel the same way. Its hard to make bad decisions and then have to live with them like we're doing. But we are doing it and that's all that matters. You and I are raising our son and trust me, we'll do a damn good job of it too."

I smiled at the truth in Brian's words, knowing that he would be a good father to his child even as his baby grew into an adult. Brian stood in the doorway with his jacket and shoes on, all ready to go. But he didn't move towards the exit. He looked at me with soft brown eyes as he stood with his hands shoved into his jean pockets.

"I can't wait to raise Blaik," Bri murmured with an honest smile on his lips, "I can't wait for him to be an amazing person. I can't wait to take him to the park, and teach him to play the guitar, and I can't wait for him to love me like I love my father."

I shook my head as I walked towards Brian and wrapped my arms around his neck. "He already loves you, Bri." I told him honestly as I took in the mixed scent of his cologne and cigarettes.

Brian wrapped his arms around me tightly as well, "Thank you, Nissa," he said, "For letting him be in my life."

I held on tighter as his pure words struck my heart and made tears come to my eyes. I couldn't believe that I had once tried to push Brian out of all of our lives. How would I live with myself when my youngest baby boy started to grow up and ask about his daddy? This time I wouldn't have a truthful story of a dead beat dad, I would only have to tell my child that his mommy was a coward. That's why I brought Brian back into my life once more, so that he could be in his son's.

"Brian," I murmured as I checked the area for Juliann, "I'm sorry for all of this," I told Brian when I was sure Junior wasn't around.

Brian froze and pulled away from me slightly. His eyes were on fire as his grip tightened on me barely. "Sorry for what exactly? Because I don't regret anything," he said boldly as he clenched his jaw.

I sighed, "I don't regret having Blaik, just how he came to be. It was wrong between us and I know that you know it too. We shouldn't have done anything. You were just supposed to be my friend. That's it. But I got caught up, Brian," I said while trying to hold back another wave of tears. I tried to pull out of Brian's grasp as I spoke; however, he wouldn't release me.

"Brian," I murmured while staring up at him, "We're done with our relationship. If you can call it that. No more sex, no nothing. Just be here for Blaik."

Brian looked unhappy as he let me slip away from him. His hand slid down and clasped around my wrist as I shook my head, tears falling from my brown eyes. His calloused fingers rubbed against my skin as I stood there with moisture landing on my lips.

"Nissa," Brian shook his head, unable to finish his sentence as his eyes began to glisten, "Don't. Please don't. You're wrong and you know it."

A sob escaped my lips as Brian moved forward so that his chest was pressed against mine. His fingers trailed up my arm and curved around my neck as he leaned in. I could feel his breath on my neck as he whispered into my hair.

"It was more than sex," he claimed, "It was more than the physical things. I knew when I met you that you were an amazing woman and you had a son, something..."

"You wanted," I finished for him, knowing that we'd had this conversation before a couple times, "And you have your own child now, so you don't need me anymore, Brian," I choked out as I ripped out of his grasp. "Just leave, Bri," I murmured, "You can come pick Blaik up for the day in you want tomorrow. I have to take Juliann to the doctors' around 1:30 and I really hate it when I have to take Blaik with."

Brian was ignoring my last words as he walked towards me and leaned down to push his lips against mine, ignoring me as I tried to shove him away. His thin lips were soft against mine as his skilled fingers tangled into my hair and his tongue ran along my bottom lip. I gasped as his right slipped under my shirt slightly and he ran his thumb over my hip piercings. Brian took this opportunity to snake his tongue into my mouth.

I got lost in him. His smell, his stature, him all together. It was the same as any kiss Brian and I had ever shared. There was nothing new about it but I was shocked anyways. There was the same type of ferocity in this kiss. The kind of raw power that had my knees shaking and my arms wrapping around his neck to hold myself up.

I came back to my senses about 40 seconds later and I pulled myself away from Brian and turned to face away from him with a shocked look on my face as I brought my fingers up to touch my swollen lips. I felt Brian's arms wrap around my waist from behind as his lips went to my ear.

"Tell me that it's over," he whispered demandingly.

I shut my eyes tight and curled into myself, "It's over,"

I felt Brian shake his head slowly, "You have to mean it..."

"I do..."

"Liar," he said quicklyly. His tone didn't hold any malice just hurt and hopefulness. His voice was strong. He leaned down and began placing kissed on the bare skin of my neck. His lips were warm yet they put goosebumps on my skin. His hands traced down my arms and clasped over my fingers, his palm against the back of my hand and his fingers in between mine.

He picked my hands up with him and made it so I was hugging myself and he was hugging me in the same way. He pulled me tight against him as his breath ran over my skin. He turned me around so that I was looking him straight in his beautiful brown eyes. My senses were going insane. The hair on the back of my neck was standing straight up and I felt cold, freezing, even though his warm body was wrapped around mine. He lifted my hand and put it over his chest as his other arm wrapped around my waist.

"I'm yours, Nissa," he whispered as he nestled his nose against the crook of my neck, "I love you."

I had no words to reply with, my mouth was dry as I struggled to fight the words that were bubbling up from my throat. "You can't."

Brian nodded against me, "But I do."