You Are Loved, Baby.

Brian stared at me as if he wanted to say something more. I grunted unhappily when he said nothing and started walking towards the door. Brian's voice called after me.

"So now you love me? After all you put me through, now you love me? Why didn't you love me two days ago when I opened my heart to you? When I ended my marriage for you? Why didn't you love me then?"

I shook my head, trying to ignore that he was making me seem like the bad guy. I wasn't the bad guy, I was only protecting myself, doing what's right for my sons. How could he not realize that he and I aren't important, it's the boys that we have to make decisions for.

"Brian," I pleaded, "I didn't try to hurt you! I don't get to chose who I fall for or when I fall for them. I thought about your words, so much. And I realized that the little feeling I had for you wasn't so little anymore. I realized that I've never gotten over you. I realized that I still love you." I grasped onto the tips of my hair nervously, running my fingers over the blonde pieces and yanking when a silence engulfed us.

Brian shook his head, his disarrayed hair flying away from his scalp and then landing back in a different place than it started from. Brian ran his calloused fingers through the brown locks, thinking and contemplating. It was as if I could see the wheels in his head turning as I watched him. His brown eyes met mine and he took a step towards me, causing my heart to thump loudly, quickly. He took two steps and one more before he stopped, about a foot in front of me.

"You know, " He whispered while leaning down towards me. He spoke slowly, calmly as he announced what was running through his mind. "I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for you to make decisions. I'm not the kind of guy to just jump into something serious but I also don't waste precious time worrying over something so insignificant. Two days ago, I told you something that I had waited an eternity to say to you, but now, I'm not so sure that I want to hear it come from your lips."

I gasped audibly, not expecting him to say that. I guess I thought that he'd take me into his arms and kiss me like I'd never kissed him before. I assumed that we'd get past this quickly and fall in love. Be sure of our love, with time.

"Brian," I stumbled, "What?" I was unable to comprehend anything. My thoughts were jumbled and I stuttered and choked on the thoughts in my mind.

Brian stepped back from me. He hitched his jeans up a little higher on his waist before he opened his mouth to shatter me again.
"I love you, Nissa. I honestly do. But I know that you aren't sure. I know that it takes you forever to realize things, even if you say you have. So go. Leave me and take time to find out if you truly love me like I love you, because if you don't... I don't want to spend the rest of my life playing pretend."