‹ Prequel: Shattered Secrets
You Are Loved, Baby.
05.
The next morning I rolled out of bed tired and groggy seeing as I hadn't been able to sleep at all. Every time I started to drift, my thoughts would pull me back and I'd spend even more time contemplating what Zacky might of told the rest of the guys.
I laid awake until seven AM when the sounds of a baby crying rung through out the house. I sighed and walked across the hall and into Blaik's room. I scooped him up in my arms and sat down in the rocking chair. I rocked him back and forth comfortingly until his wails had ceased and he laid in my arms, looking up at me with a quiet fascination.
"Hi, baby," I cooed, "It's alright. Mommy's gotcha now." I ghosted my fingers through his hair, "I love you, Blaik. I love you so much, little baby."
I watched as he yawned and curled his little fingers around one of mine. "The day you were born," I whispered, "I was so scared." I chuckled pathetically as tears sprung to my eyes, "They weren't sure if you were going to make it because you were so little. It was my fault that you came out only 4 pounds. I was so stressed out back then that I put too much pressure on you." I sighed as he drifted back to sleep.
I closed my own eyes, remembering the day that Blaik showed up, unexpectedly. I was so frightened because he was coming out two months before he was planned to. He was born on May 12th instead of sometime in late July. It was a quick birth, seeing as he was so little, but then they whisked him off to take care of him and put him in an incubator because his lungs were too weak.
After about an hour they pushed the incubator into my room so that I could see him. When I saw the dark hair on his head I bursted out crying. I realized that everything was truly going to change. I got to hold him for the first time a week later. After about two weeks he was finally stable enough to come home with me. His brown eyes would watch me and I held him constantly. I was afraid to put him down in fear that he'd slip away and I'd lose my piece of Brian.
I named him before I even got to hold him. I named him Blaik because it mean 'light during darkness' and I realized that this is what this little baby would become. He would be the good during the bad. Blaik was the only good thing to ever come from heart break. He was the light in the dark.
I was at work when my water broke. I remember everyone freezing and then I yelled for my father. He drove me to the hospital and my mom drove into Huntington to get the boys from school. I spent the next couple of hours waiting to be dilated enough as Bronx as I laid on my hospital bed talking about the fact that soon enough he would have a little brother to care for.
"Mommy?" Bronx had asked.
I had looked to him with slight pain in my eyes. "Yeah, baby?"
"Where's the baby's daddy?"
I had bit my lip as my family quietly awaited my answer. "He's not going to be around, Bronx."
Bronx furrowed his eyebrows. "Is he with my daddy, Mommy?"
My heart beat in my chest rapidly. "No." I stated boldly, "The baby's daddy is nothing like your daddy."
It was right after that I went into labor. The doctor kicked everyone out of the room except for my mom. I remember seeing Isaias carry Bronx out of the room as the younger boy wailed and cried.
Isaias, my other brother, had flown in from his college in Wisconsin to be here for the birth of his second nephew.
The birth of Blaik was a big deal to my family. He was a blessing. I turned my attention to Blaik who laid in my arms, now asleep once more. I sighed and stood up, taking him with me as I wandered down the stairs. I put him in his playpen as I passed it and I continued on towards the kitchen and the coffee maker.
When the coffee began to brew I made my way back upstairs, checking to make sure Blaik was still asleep along the way. I went to Bronx's bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed. I pushed his hair out of his face and smiled as he tried to swat my hand away.
"Time to wake up, kiddo," I murmured, pulling him up so that he was sitting. He tried to lay back down, resulting in me holding up all his weight.
"Bronx!" I chuckled, pulling him back up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. I stood up with a grunt and began to carry him back down stairs and into the kitchen. I set him on a chair and he rested his arms on the table, his head on his arms as he closed his eyes.
I left him there as I went to wake Juliann up. I hopped down the basement stairs loudly, hoping that would help me out a little bit, but he was a rock. "Time to get up!" I called as I walked over to his bed where he laid, sprawled out underneath black blankets.
"Junior..." I coaxed, sitting on the edge of his bed and shaking him roughly.
He groaned and swatted my hands away. "I'm up," he said, but otherwise didn't move an inch.
"Junior..." I said once more, moving so that I was practically sitting on him.
"Nissa, go away," he groaned, attempting to pull his blanket up over his head and shove me off of him.
"Nope," I murmured, "Time for school."
He shook his head, making his hair ruffle and knot. "No, time for sleep."
I groaned and pulled his blankets off of his bed, standing as I did so. "Get the hell up, Juliann. You have five minutes to be upstairs for breakfast. Seriously, you're worse than Bronx and Blaik put together."
He murmured something unintelligible and waved his hand at me. I rolled my eyes and went back up stairs to start cooking breakfast. He knew the consequences if he wasn't there by the time it was done.
About an hour later the boys were off to school and Blaik and I were back at home sitting on the living room couch. I had made it through the morning with no sight of Zack and I was simply grateful for the average TV show and my baby, asleep in his playpen.
I laid awake until seven AM when the sounds of a baby crying rung through out the house. I sighed and walked across the hall and into Blaik's room. I scooped him up in my arms and sat down in the rocking chair. I rocked him back and forth comfortingly until his wails had ceased and he laid in my arms, looking up at me with a quiet fascination.
"Hi, baby," I cooed, "It's alright. Mommy's gotcha now." I ghosted my fingers through his hair, "I love you, Blaik. I love you so much, little baby."
I watched as he yawned and curled his little fingers around one of mine. "The day you were born," I whispered, "I was so scared." I chuckled pathetically as tears sprung to my eyes, "They weren't sure if you were going to make it because you were so little. It was my fault that you came out only 4 pounds. I was so stressed out back then that I put too much pressure on you." I sighed as he drifted back to sleep.
I closed my own eyes, remembering the day that Blaik showed up, unexpectedly. I was so frightened because he was coming out two months before he was planned to. He was born on May 12th instead of sometime in late July. It was a quick birth, seeing as he was so little, but then they whisked him off to take care of him and put him in an incubator because his lungs were too weak.
After about an hour they pushed the incubator into my room so that I could see him. When I saw the dark hair on his head I bursted out crying. I realized that everything was truly going to change. I got to hold him for the first time a week later. After about two weeks he was finally stable enough to come home with me. His brown eyes would watch me and I held him constantly. I was afraid to put him down in fear that he'd slip away and I'd lose my piece of Brian.
I named him before I even got to hold him. I named him Blaik because it mean 'light during darkness' and I realized that this is what this little baby would become. He would be the good during the bad. Blaik was the only good thing to ever come from heart break. He was the light in the dark.
I was at work when my water broke. I remember everyone freezing and then I yelled for my father. He drove me to the hospital and my mom drove into Huntington to get the boys from school. I spent the next couple of hours waiting to be dilated enough as Bronx as I laid on my hospital bed talking about the fact that soon enough he would have a little brother to care for.
"Mommy?" Bronx had asked.
I had looked to him with slight pain in my eyes. "Yeah, baby?"
"Where's the baby's daddy?"
I had bit my lip as my family quietly awaited my answer. "He's not going to be around, Bronx."
Bronx furrowed his eyebrows. "Is he with my daddy, Mommy?"
My heart beat in my chest rapidly. "No." I stated boldly, "The baby's daddy is nothing like your daddy."
It was right after that I went into labor. The doctor kicked everyone out of the room except for my mom. I remember seeing Isaias carry Bronx out of the room as the younger boy wailed and cried.
Isaias, my other brother, had flown in from his college in Wisconsin to be here for the birth of his second nephew.
The birth of Blaik was a big deal to my family. He was a blessing. I turned my attention to Blaik who laid in my arms, now asleep once more. I sighed and stood up, taking him with me as I wandered down the stairs. I put him in his playpen as I passed it and I continued on towards the kitchen and the coffee maker.
When the coffee began to brew I made my way back upstairs, checking to make sure Blaik was still asleep along the way. I went to Bronx's bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed. I pushed his hair out of his face and smiled as he tried to swat my hand away.
"Time to wake up, kiddo," I murmured, pulling him up so that he was sitting. He tried to lay back down, resulting in me holding up all his weight.
"Bronx!" I chuckled, pulling him back up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. I stood up with a grunt and began to carry him back down stairs and into the kitchen. I set him on a chair and he rested his arms on the table, his head on his arms as he closed his eyes.
I left him there as I went to wake Juliann up. I hopped down the basement stairs loudly, hoping that would help me out a little bit, but he was a rock. "Time to get up!" I called as I walked over to his bed where he laid, sprawled out underneath black blankets.
"Junior..." I coaxed, sitting on the edge of his bed and shaking him roughly.
He groaned and swatted my hands away. "I'm up," he said, but otherwise didn't move an inch.
"Junior..." I said once more, moving so that I was practically sitting on him.
"Nissa, go away," he groaned, attempting to pull his blanket up over his head and shove me off of him.
"Nope," I murmured, "Time for school."
He shook his head, making his hair ruffle and knot. "No, time for sleep."
I groaned and pulled his blankets off of his bed, standing as I did so. "Get the hell up, Juliann. You have five minutes to be upstairs for breakfast. Seriously, you're worse than Bronx and Blaik put together."
He murmured something unintelligible and waved his hand at me. I rolled my eyes and went back up stairs to start cooking breakfast. He knew the consequences if he wasn't there by the time it was done.
About an hour later the boys were off to school and Blaik and I were back at home sitting on the living room couch. I had made it through the morning with no sight of Zack and I was simply grateful for the average TV show and my baby, asleep in his playpen.