The Same Mistake

Draco blinked his gray eyes open. The room around him was dark, except for a crescent of moonlight, but the full body ache that seized Draco was enough to make bright lights pop before his eyes. Squeezing his eyes shut again, a blurred image surfaced, quickly coming into sharp relief. Draco saw himself as if from above, his broken body on the floor of the bathroom, straight slices in his flesh seeping red blood all over the cement tiles below. With each breath, his body grew weaker, emptying of the one thing that would keep him alive. And he didn’t mind.

It was easier this way, so much easier. If he could just let go of everything he would be free. Free from the responsibility of filling his father’s role. Free from the Dark Lord’s power. Free from Snape’s overbearing presence. Free from his mission to kill Dumbledore. Free from his feelings for –

With a panic, Draco’s eyes shot open; he didn’t want to think those thoughts. He was alive and he was here. Blinking rapidly to adjust his eyes to the darkness, Draco’s eyes focused on one shape. Ellie, curled up on a chair which she had pushed up next to his bed. Her small hand stretched across onto his mattress. Anxiously, Draco moved his own hand, covering Ellie’s fingers with his own, but even that one small action sent a wave of fire shooting down his arm.

“Ellie!” he said, but his voice came out cracked and feebly. He tried to clear his throat but it was bone dry. “Ellie!” he whispered again, attempting to sit up, but falling back instantly as a pain beyond his imagination engulfed every inch of his body.

He cried out in pain, his fingers clenching tightly around Ellie’s, who jerked awake at the pressure and the noise. But Ellie wasn’t the only one alerted by Draco’s sudden movements. “I’m coming, Draco, hold on one second,” the motherly voice of Madame Pomfrey carried through the heavy wooden door to her office.

“El-!” Draco’s words were drowned out by Ellie’s shush.

She leapt from the seat beside Draco, throwing herself behind the crème colored sheet that surrounded his bed. Draco’s heart thrummed with energy, a completely different sensation than the one he had experienced hours earlier after Harry cursed him. Draco prayed that Ellie was well concealed, he didn’t want Madame Pomfrey to kick her out of the room. Now more than ever he needed Ellie with him.

Madame Pomfrey eased between the sheets surrounding Draco’s bed. He turned his head to the side, feigning sleep. Madame Pomfrey placed a cool hand against his forehead. “How are we feeling, my dear?”

Draco moaned, a very accurate representation of the pain scorching through his body. Madame Pomfrey clucked her tongue in disapproval. “Sounds like you could use a little more Relison for the pain.” She took a large blue bottle, whose label showcased a wizard sleeping peacefully, from her apron and a much smaller teaspoon. After pouring a healthy dose of the blue liquid onto the spoon, she scooted around to the other side of Draco’s bed. Supporting his neck, Madame Pomfrey administered the dose of medication.

The instant the potion hit his system, a cooling sensation ran down his arms, legs, and chest, causing the burn to ease to a mild tingling. But Draco also felt the sid- effects of the potion. His eyelids felt heavy; his thoughts were hard to corral, swaying crazily from the pain, to Ellie, to the duel in the bathroom; unable to light on one subject for more than a few seconds. He didn’t even notice when Madame Pomfrey disappeared back into her office.

But Draco felt it when Ellie crawled into bed beside him. She lay on her side, her eyes fixated on his face and the tiny cuts that seemed to glow whiter in the moonlight. Her luminous blue eyes radiated concern. “Are you alright?” she whispered after casting Mufflito in the general direction of Madame Pomfrey’s office. Lifting one hand to his face, Ellie brushed Draco’s blonde hair back from his grey eyes.

Draco really did try to focus on her words. But with Ellie this close, Draco simply couldn’t think of anything else. “I love you.”

Her eyes doubled in size. “Qu’est?” she breathed.

Draco blinked. He couldn’t remember what he had said. He smiled at Ellie, a goofy grin that lit up his face; he thought she was very pretty. “You’re so beautiful,” he tried to touch Ellie’s face, but the tingly in his arm overpowered his ability to move his arm.

Ellie’s cheeks blushed bright pink. “Draco!” There was a slight giggle behind her words, but her eyes remained serious. “Do you even know who I am?”

“Ellie,” he said her name firmly. “You’re my Ellie.”

His words brought a slight smile to her lips; Draco thought she was even more beautiful when she smiled. “Yes,” she whispered, “I’m your Ellie.” She leaned over Draco, pressing a soft kiss against his smooth forehead. “Draco, are you alright?”

He gave her a puzzled look, his brow pulling upward and his eyes narrowing. “Well . . . everything hurts, but . . .” this time he ignored the tingling and forced his hand upward, cupping Ellie’s cheek in his palm, “you’re here with me, and you’re safe.”

Draco was startled to see tears welling up in Ellie’s eyes. They spilled over, splashing onto his hand and face. “I was so scared. You were gravely injured and from I overheard Madame Pomfrey saying, if Professor Snape hadn’t arrived when he did, you could have – you could have died. Then I got here and you looked worse than I imagined and babbling in your sleep. You kept saying –“ Ellie’s voice caught. She shook her head sending her blonde hair flying. “It doesn’t matter, it just matters that you’re alright now.”

Her speech was long and Draco lost track of it several times. But what he did recognize was that Ellie had been worried about him. Possibly the only person in England, besides his mother, who gave two cauldron cakes if he lived or died. Draco’s scattered thoughts began to reassemble themselves. “Ellie,” he struggled to turn on his side, but the pain kept him on his back. He needed to tell her, his heart was bursting to tell her. Because the same was true for him, he cared far more about Ellie living than himself. If he had to die to protect her, then he would gladly lay down his life.

“Ellie please,” he pleaded. Obligingly, Ellie scooted down on the bed, settling herself against the crook of his body. Turn his face so that his mouth brushed against her hair, Draco whispered, “Ellie, I love you.”

Ellie jolted upright. Slipping one leg over Draco’s body, Ellie maneuvered herself until she was hovering above him, her face inches from his. “I love you, Draco.” She dipped her head to meet her lips to his.

Draco lifted both of his arms, completely ignoring the alarming tingling sensation that thudded in his veins. He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her lips closer to his.

“Draco, I can’t,” she said, removing her mouth from his. “If I get any closer, I’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care,” he said and it was true. This was the best Draco had felt in a very long time. Ellie loved him. He had been so scared to let himself fall in love with Ellie, but he knew now it was never a matter of letting himself fall in love, but how long he would keep pretending to himself that he didn’t lover. That time was over now. No matter what else happened, he would always have this moment with her.

“Well,” Ellie replied, rolling back onto her side, “I do. You’ve been injured enough to day, thank you very much.” She tilted Draco’s face towards her arching one leg over his two but avoiding physical contact. “And I think this arrangement will work out better for both of us.” Intertwining her fingers with his, Ellie went back to kissing Draco who was so awash in frivolous joy that for the first time in months, he didn’t spare one thought for the Dark Lord.