Leave It All Behind

I ripped open the passengers’ door to Gerard’s car, “Freedommm!” I sang with a deep voice. “Freedom, I saaaay!” Gerard gave me a weird look as he turned the key in the ignition. I was still standing outside, screaming at the top of my lungs.
A frosty wind nipped the back of my neck, making the hairs all over my body stand up. I suddenly stopped my singing to shiver when Gerard got out of the car, cursing to the heavens. “Piece of shit motherfucking asshole…” He trailed off into his own world, walking around the front of the Trans Am and lifting the hood. He looked confused as nothing seemed to be wrong. I stood on my toes looking at him, “Dude, I think your battery died.”
Obviously in rage, Gerard called his younger brother to come out of class and help restart the car’s life. I felt lame and useless as I didn’t have a car of my own, always bumming rides from Gerard or Mikey. It never seemed to bother Gerard as much, even though I was hardly allowed to touch the floor of his precious car. As for Mikey, he’d always be the one to ask ‘is it really necessary?’ and when my answer was yes, he’d sigh in annoyance.
Of course, I didn’t ask him many times. I rather liked Gerard driving me around, anyway. If I asked him, he would only respond ‘why do you even ask? Just get in, already.’ For some reason or another, my smile and the majority of my happiness were all the thanks to my older friend. We were, after all, best friends for 8 years.

As I sat in the driver’s seat revving the engine, once Mikey had popped the hood to his shit car and connected wires to Gerard’s battery. Each time it didn’t work, Gerard would look at me and whisper ‘fuck you’ under his breath. I hid my face behind my hands, giggling at his pain.
He motioned for me to rev the engine, and the car roared back to life. Gerard put his hands up to the sky in victory, high-fiving Mikey and giving me the thumbs up signal.
Aching to test how angry he could get, I backed the car out of the parking space and drove as quickly as I could away from him. In the side mirror, I could see him with his arms wide open, ready to give up on me. I threw my head back laughing, turning on the radio. The song playing gave me a sense of exemption, making my foot hit the gas pedal a little harder.
I diagnosed the song as Love Gun by Kiss as soon as there was a guitar solo. I made a harsh U-turn, hearing the wheels shrill on the paved road, finally coming back to the spot where I left a desperate Gerard.
The volume on the radio was high, Ace and Paul shredding note and chord. I rolled the window down, smiling at Gerard. “Get in; we’re going for a fuckin’ ride, man.” He had a cigarette inbetween his lips, evidently not impressed with my actions, but never looking better.
He blew the smoke in my face nonchalantly, “Get out of my fucking car-“
“I think it’d be fun if I dro-“
“Get out of my car, get out of my car-“
“Ger-“
“Get out of my fucking car, Frank!”
At first I was shocked with how loud and serious he was being. But I knew him too well to think that he could ever raise his voice at me and mean it. Especially for something so stupid. I sighed, playing along with his game. I opened the car door and stood in front of him, almost too close.
“I wanna drive.” I begged. He still stared at me, his eyes hard. If I knew one thing from being a player, I knew that kisses never failed.
I was hesitant, a little scared, maybe. But I really wanted to drive.
I stood on my toes.
“I want to drive.”
“No.”
“You know I’ll do it.” He rose a brow, still looking into my eyes. I felt my stomach turn into fifty billion knots, and my heart raced like a shot of adrenaline was being pumped into my veins. I felt his breath on mine, and for that second I noticed the color of his eyes. Hazel, and not hard at all. If anything, a little uneasy, yes, but still the calm and collective Gerard I knew.
“You know.” I say, whispering now. I felt my smile fall off my face and the moment seemed to serious for a joke. His lips were slightly parted, his nose now touching my own. A part of me told me to do it, just do it. But another part of me had said it could be the most idiotic idea I’ve ever had.
Suddenly, he pushed me off. My joking smile came back to me, and my stomach settled. He pointed to the door of the car, never picking his eyes off the ground.
I’d forgotten what we were arguing about, but it came back to me in a rush, the past moments disappearing completely.
“Thank you!” I say, getting in. He walked around quietly and sat down next to me. I watched him put his seatbelt on slowly. “Ready?” I ask, quietly as well.
“For what? Frank-”
But before I let him finish, I pushed my foot to the gas and sped our way to our first destination of many to come.