Status: Active
Your Cage Is Peace to My Soul
o3
She couldn't keep her hands off of me for more than 5 minutes at a time, letting go of me only to make sure she didn't bump into anyone on our way up to my hotel room. She was kissing me feverishly, tugging at my hair and clothes, gripping any part of me that she could get her hands on. I wasn't sure that I liked it, but I didn't want it to stop.
People passing us in the hallway stared at us, mouths wide open as they shook their heads disapprovingly, but Tonya couldn't care less.
I had managed to find out at least a few things about her; like her name and age. She was only a year younger than I was, and she had recently moved to the city because she wanted to start a new life without anyone knowing about it. She didn't care much for talking, all she really wanted me to know was that she wanted me and that she didn't want to wait another minute longer.
She shoved her hands into my pocket where she found my room key. She opened the door effortlessly, as if she did this sort of thing a lot. I wouldn't be surprised, she was a beautiful woman. She bit my lip softly, grabbing me by the belt and dragging me into the room.
I could feel her tugging at my jacket, urging me to take it off, but after growing impatient, she pulled away from me and did it herself. We moved closer to the bed while she unbuckled my pants, and stepped away to watch them fall to the ground. My eyes roamed over her little black dress, and I couldn't help my mind going back to Elena. She had been so different from any other girl I had ever known, she wouldn't have been caught dead in a dress, especially not one that short. She was always comfortable in jeans or my sweatpants.
I shook my head, wishing I had never thought of her. The empty feeling flowing through my body had just started to fade, but it had returned once again.
I closed my eyes, attempting to kiss Tonya's neck, bur she placed her hand on my chest, stopping me. She swung her purse in front of my face, smiling. She moved away from me a bit, looking into the small black bag, and finally extracting an object from it. The room was still spinning slightly, and it was hard to make out what it was that she was loosely dangling between her manicured fingers.
“What- what's that?” I slurred, not realizing at first how hard it was going to be for me to formulate a proper sentence.
She started to laugh suddenly, as if it was the funniest thing she had heard in a long time. She had playfully rolled her eyes before putting down her purse on the bedside table, taking out a lighter in the process.
“It's just a joint, relax. It'll make you feel good.” She replied, bringing the joint up to her lips and lighting it.
I hadn't done anything close to drugs before in my life. I've seen my friends try it, but I was always so afraid that I might actually like it and wouldn't be able to stop, so I never touched it. I didn't know what to expect at all, but tonight I was going to try it. No matter how well I was brought up, I wasn't going to say no to anything tonight. I didn't have anything to lose anymore, nothing mattered.
I watched her take a drag, inhale and blow out the smoke from her lips. The strong smell of marijuana filled the room instantly, hitting me hard. She took the joint out of her mouth and handed it to me, I watched her doubtfully for a few seconds before taking it into my own hands.
I took a deep breath and exhaled before I put it to my lips, taking only a small drag.
Tonya watched me and laughed.
“Come on, Bill. Don't be scared, take a big drag, otherwise it won't work.” She urged me eagerly.
I looked at her, nodding slightly before bringing the joint back to my lips. I gripped it tight with my index and middle finger before taking a drag big enough to almost make me cough as if it was my first time smoking.
“Take another.”
At her command, I took another drag. That time, I felt different. There was a tingling feeling rushing through my body in a matter of seconds, the room started spinning more than it did before. I tried to take a breath, but I couldn't get it out because I was suddenly taken over by the urge to laugh at everything, and once I started, I wasn't able to stop it. Everything in the room appeared funnier than usual.
Tonya took the joint from my hands, taking another drag herself. I was weak from all the laughter, and she took advantage of my state. She pushed me onto the bed using only one hand, because that was all that she needed. She took one final drag and walked out to the balcony of the room to throw it out, then turned around, facing me.
She giggled when she looked my way, but that was all. She had no problem controlling her laughter like I did, I guessed that she had done this many times before. I tried to sit up when she came closer to me, but once again, she pushed me down.
I tried to send a questioning look her way, but I wasn't sure if she had understood me.
“I only get one night, right? I might as well make it memorable.” She whispered to me.
She licked her lips and winked at me, kicking off her shoes. After that, she threw herself onto the bed, straddling me. I could feel her grinding against me like she had in the club. She started to kiss me on my chest, tickling me slightly, making me laugh even harder. I didn't think laughing at this time was appropriate, but it didn't seem to bother Tonya. She just threw her hair back, pulling me up my my shoulders, doing something that ended up in a lap dance.
She was sexy as hell, no one could argument with that, and I was getting aroused quickly. She started to lick my neck and chin, her tongue roaming close to my lips after a few minutes. Tonya was a tease, and she loved the reaction that she was getting from me.
Her lips finally met mine and I kissed her hungrily, I threw my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her closer to me. I started to pull off the straps of her dress, not being able to take it any longer. She played along, giving me what I wanted and let me undress her.
She got off of me, standing up to take off her dress completely. She did a little dance while taking it off, making me want her even more.
She reached out for me and I eagerly grabbed her hand. I pulled her towards me, so that she fell right next to me. I took a deep breath, finally calming myself down and got on top of the girl lying on my bed. I could feel her pulling down my boxers slowly. She bit her lip softly as she looked up at me, a small smile on her light pink lips. She raised her head a bit, so that her mouth was next to my ear.
“Tell me you love me.” She whispered seductively.
After she got my boxers off, she managed to get on top of me once again. She liked to be in control. She dug her nails deep into met, not caring much for the cuts that already made a pattern across my bare chest.
“Say it, Bill.”
I looked up at Tonya, my brow furrowed. Suddenly, nothing was that funny anymore. I got tired, and my head started to hurt. She continued to dig her nails into me, begging me to say those 3 words to me, but I didn't get it. We both know I didn't love her, was she that desperate?
“Please, baby. You don't have to mean it.”
I've never been that kind of guy, I hated using girls and I hated lying to them. As far as I could remember, I've never said that I loved a girl before being together for at least a month. Love wasn't something I took lightly, and I made sure everyone knew that, but Tonya kept nagging. My head was throbbing and only getting worse, and her nails were opening the wounds Elena had created.
After five minutes passed, Tonya started using her “little girl” voice, thinking that it would convince me to say the words she wanted to hear so badly, but it was only making things worse. I sat up, making her slide down onto my lap.
“I- I,” I started, “I wish you'd just shut up!”
I snapped, I couldn't take her nagging anymore. I shoved her off of me, like I had with Elena earlier that morning, but with a lot more force. She flew off of the bed, hitting the wall with a loud thud. She was still giggling, even though it seemed like she had hit her head very hard. Even the simplest noise she made annoyed me at that moment, and I would've done anything that would make her close her mouth. I stood up from the bed, pulling on my boxers. I tried to take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but the throbbing in my head and the girl giggling on the floor made it difficult.
I walked towards her, bending down.
I reached for her neck with both of my hands, it was like reflex and I couldn't control it. I tightened my grip on her, but not even that would shut her up. I hit her head on the wall, hoping I would knock her out or at least give her a concussion as punishment.
She was screaming of violent laughter by now, meaning my plan had the opposite effect of what I was hoping for. Her hysterical laughter was enough to drive anyone insane, including me. I locked both of my hands firmly around her neck, and started to squeeze. I looked her directly in the eyes. I watched them widen and fill with fear, her smile had finally faded, but I couldn't find it in me to let go of her.
I could see in her face that she wanted to scream, but she couldn't get it out. Her face started to turn red, I didn't know if it was because of lack of oxygen of because she wanted to cry.
I was filled with rage, I didn't know why, but it felt good taking it out on Tonya. I laughed bitterly as she started to turn a light shade of purple, and dug her nails into my hands, trying to force me to let go of her.
“I said shut up. You wouldn't listen, bitch.” I said through gritted teeth.
I squeezed as hard as I could manage, though if felt like I didn't have much feeling left in me. Her eyes glazed over in a matter of minutes and I let go of her.
She fell backwards, leaning limply against the wall again, but it wasn't the same as before. I could tell that she wasn't going to move this time. Her eyes were open, but there was no movement. I sat in front of her for a while, just gazing at what I had done. My hand prints stood out like bruises on her neck, giving away what I had just done. She was wearing nothing but her underwear, and even now, I couldn't help but admire her perfect physique.
I switched my gaze to the balcony, noticing that it wasn't that dark outside anymore. It was in the early hours in the morning, and I wondered what time we had left the club then. I decided to stand up, getting bored with looking at Tonya. I put my pants back on, ran a hand through my black hair and turned my direction to the bed once again. Tonya's purse still sat on the nightstand and I reached for it. Out of pure curiosity, I opened it up and looked inside.
The purse was very small, and didn't contain much. Inside were only her phone, her wallet and underneath it all, a small bag of marijuana. Without really thinking, I took the weed and shoved it into my own pocket. I figured that she wasn't going to miss it now.
I threw her purse and it landed in her lap perfectly, then I bent down and closed her eyes for her.
She was dead now.
I kept telling myself that it was my fault, I had actually killed someone and that it was wrong. If they caught me, I would be in jail until the day that I die, but I was proud of what I've done. I, Bill Kaulitz have the power to end someones life whenever I wanted to.
I felt powerful, I felt invincible.
I wanted to do it again.
People passing us in the hallway stared at us, mouths wide open as they shook their heads disapprovingly, but Tonya couldn't care less.
I had managed to find out at least a few things about her; like her name and age. She was only a year younger than I was, and she had recently moved to the city because she wanted to start a new life without anyone knowing about it. She didn't care much for talking, all she really wanted me to know was that she wanted me and that she didn't want to wait another minute longer.
She shoved her hands into my pocket where she found my room key. She opened the door effortlessly, as if she did this sort of thing a lot. I wouldn't be surprised, she was a beautiful woman. She bit my lip softly, grabbing me by the belt and dragging me into the room.
I could feel her tugging at my jacket, urging me to take it off, but after growing impatient, she pulled away from me and did it herself. We moved closer to the bed while she unbuckled my pants, and stepped away to watch them fall to the ground. My eyes roamed over her little black dress, and I couldn't help my mind going back to Elena. She had been so different from any other girl I had ever known, she wouldn't have been caught dead in a dress, especially not one that short. She was always comfortable in jeans or my sweatpants.
I shook my head, wishing I had never thought of her. The empty feeling flowing through my body had just started to fade, but it had returned once again.
I closed my eyes, attempting to kiss Tonya's neck, bur she placed her hand on my chest, stopping me. She swung her purse in front of my face, smiling. She moved away from me a bit, looking into the small black bag, and finally extracting an object from it. The room was still spinning slightly, and it was hard to make out what it was that she was loosely dangling between her manicured fingers.
“What- what's that?” I slurred, not realizing at first how hard it was going to be for me to formulate a proper sentence.
She started to laugh suddenly, as if it was the funniest thing she had heard in a long time. She had playfully rolled her eyes before putting down her purse on the bedside table, taking out a lighter in the process.
“It's just a joint, relax. It'll make you feel good.” She replied, bringing the joint up to her lips and lighting it.
I hadn't done anything close to drugs before in my life. I've seen my friends try it, but I was always so afraid that I might actually like it and wouldn't be able to stop, so I never touched it. I didn't know what to expect at all, but tonight I was going to try it. No matter how well I was brought up, I wasn't going to say no to anything tonight. I didn't have anything to lose anymore, nothing mattered.
I watched her take a drag, inhale and blow out the smoke from her lips. The strong smell of marijuana filled the room instantly, hitting me hard. She took the joint out of her mouth and handed it to me, I watched her doubtfully for a few seconds before taking it into my own hands.
I took a deep breath and exhaled before I put it to my lips, taking only a small drag.
Tonya watched me and laughed.
“Come on, Bill. Don't be scared, take a big drag, otherwise it won't work.” She urged me eagerly.
I looked at her, nodding slightly before bringing the joint back to my lips. I gripped it tight with my index and middle finger before taking a drag big enough to almost make me cough as if it was my first time smoking.
“Take another.”
At her command, I took another drag. That time, I felt different. There was a tingling feeling rushing through my body in a matter of seconds, the room started spinning more than it did before. I tried to take a breath, but I couldn't get it out because I was suddenly taken over by the urge to laugh at everything, and once I started, I wasn't able to stop it. Everything in the room appeared funnier than usual.
Tonya took the joint from my hands, taking another drag herself. I was weak from all the laughter, and she took advantage of my state. She pushed me onto the bed using only one hand, because that was all that she needed. She took one final drag and walked out to the balcony of the room to throw it out, then turned around, facing me.
She giggled when she looked my way, but that was all. She had no problem controlling her laughter like I did, I guessed that she had done this many times before. I tried to sit up when she came closer to me, but once again, she pushed me down.
I tried to send a questioning look her way, but I wasn't sure if she had understood me.
“I only get one night, right? I might as well make it memorable.” She whispered to me.
She licked her lips and winked at me, kicking off her shoes. After that, she threw herself onto the bed, straddling me. I could feel her grinding against me like she had in the club. She started to kiss me on my chest, tickling me slightly, making me laugh even harder. I didn't think laughing at this time was appropriate, but it didn't seem to bother Tonya. She just threw her hair back, pulling me up my my shoulders, doing something that ended up in a lap dance.
She was sexy as hell, no one could argument with that, and I was getting aroused quickly. She started to lick my neck and chin, her tongue roaming close to my lips after a few minutes. Tonya was a tease, and she loved the reaction that she was getting from me.
Her lips finally met mine and I kissed her hungrily, I threw my arms around her tiny waist and pulled her closer to me. I started to pull off the straps of her dress, not being able to take it any longer. She played along, giving me what I wanted and let me undress her.
She got off of me, standing up to take off her dress completely. She did a little dance while taking it off, making me want her even more.
She reached out for me and I eagerly grabbed her hand. I pulled her towards me, so that she fell right next to me. I took a deep breath, finally calming myself down and got on top of the girl lying on my bed. I could feel her pulling down my boxers slowly. She bit her lip softly as she looked up at me, a small smile on her light pink lips. She raised her head a bit, so that her mouth was next to my ear.
“Tell me you love me.” She whispered seductively.
After she got my boxers off, she managed to get on top of me once again. She liked to be in control. She dug her nails deep into met, not caring much for the cuts that already made a pattern across my bare chest.
“Say it, Bill.”
I looked up at Tonya, my brow furrowed. Suddenly, nothing was that funny anymore. I got tired, and my head started to hurt. She continued to dig her nails into me, begging me to say those 3 words to me, but I didn't get it. We both know I didn't love her, was she that desperate?
“Please, baby. You don't have to mean it.”
I've never been that kind of guy, I hated using girls and I hated lying to them. As far as I could remember, I've never said that I loved a girl before being together for at least a month. Love wasn't something I took lightly, and I made sure everyone knew that, but Tonya kept nagging. My head was throbbing and only getting worse, and her nails were opening the wounds Elena had created.
After five minutes passed, Tonya started using her “little girl” voice, thinking that it would convince me to say the words she wanted to hear so badly, but it was only making things worse. I sat up, making her slide down onto my lap.
“I- I,” I started, “I wish you'd just shut up!”
I snapped, I couldn't take her nagging anymore. I shoved her off of me, like I had with Elena earlier that morning, but with a lot more force. She flew off of the bed, hitting the wall with a loud thud. She was still giggling, even though it seemed like she had hit her head very hard. Even the simplest noise she made annoyed me at that moment, and I would've done anything that would make her close her mouth. I stood up from the bed, pulling on my boxers. I tried to take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but the throbbing in my head and the girl giggling on the floor made it difficult.
I walked towards her, bending down.
I reached for her neck with both of my hands, it was like reflex and I couldn't control it. I tightened my grip on her, but not even that would shut her up. I hit her head on the wall, hoping I would knock her out or at least give her a concussion as punishment.
She was screaming of violent laughter by now, meaning my plan had the opposite effect of what I was hoping for. Her hysterical laughter was enough to drive anyone insane, including me. I locked both of my hands firmly around her neck, and started to squeeze. I looked her directly in the eyes. I watched them widen and fill with fear, her smile had finally faded, but I couldn't find it in me to let go of her.
I could see in her face that she wanted to scream, but she couldn't get it out. Her face started to turn red, I didn't know if it was because of lack of oxygen of because she wanted to cry.
I was filled with rage, I didn't know why, but it felt good taking it out on Tonya. I laughed bitterly as she started to turn a light shade of purple, and dug her nails into my hands, trying to force me to let go of her.
“I said shut up. You wouldn't listen, bitch.” I said through gritted teeth.
I squeezed as hard as I could manage, though if felt like I didn't have much feeling left in me. Her eyes glazed over in a matter of minutes and I let go of her.
She fell backwards, leaning limply against the wall again, but it wasn't the same as before. I could tell that she wasn't going to move this time. Her eyes were open, but there was no movement. I sat in front of her for a while, just gazing at what I had done. My hand prints stood out like bruises on her neck, giving away what I had just done. She was wearing nothing but her underwear, and even now, I couldn't help but admire her perfect physique.
I switched my gaze to the balcony, noticing that it wasn't that dark outside anymore. It was in the early hours in the morning, and I wondered what time we had left the club then. I decided to stand up, getting bored with looking at Tonya. I put my pants back on, ran a hand through my black hair and turned my direction to the bed once again. Tonya's purse still sat on the nightstand and I reached for it. Out of pure curiosity, I opened it up and looked inside.
The purse was very small, and didn't contain much. Inside were only her phone, her wallet and underneath it all, a small bag of marijuana. Without really thinking, I took the weed and shoved it into my own pocket. I figured that she wasn't going to miss it now.
I threw her purse and it landed in her lap perfectly, then I bent down and closed her eyes for her.
She was dead now.
I kept telling myself that it was my fault, I had actually killed someone and that it was wrong. If they caught me, I would be in jail until the day that I die, but I was proud of what I've done. I, Bill Kaulitz have the power to end someones life whenever I wanted to.
I felt powerful, I felt invincible.
I wanted to do it again.
♠ ♠ ♠
=)