Don't Want to Start a Fight

I woke up to the feeling of something wet dropping on my face. What the fuck? I yawned softly and opened my eyes, only to see Kyle crying. Shit. Our arms were tightly wrapped around each other and our legs were intertwined, with one of Kyle’s legs thrown over my waist. We must’ve come together like this in our sleep. Shit, we must’ve naturally moved to be together like this. But why is Kyle crying?!

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I whispered.

Kyle flinched, startled that I was awake.

“I’m losing you,” Kyle whimpered.

“Kyle, I…”

“Don’t sugarcoat me, Jack. I’m not stupid. You want an explanation I can’t give and if I don’t give you one, you’re gone. I can’t handle that,” Kyle interrupted, sniffing.

“I just want to know how you can split your love like this,” I mumbled.

“And I don’t know! I love you more than John, isn’t that enough?” Kyle said.

“It should be, but it isn’t. I want you to myself, Kyle – I can’t share you,” I told him.

“But I don’t want him! I only dated John to try to get over you! The first time John and I made love, I pretended he was you! I’ve done all these horrible things to John because I wanted him to be you, and without you somehow reading my mind, I can’t show you any other way,” Kyle said sadly.

Wait, he what?

“You pretended he was me?” I chuckled.

“Really? Is that really all you got from that?” Kyle exasperated.

“Sorry, it’s just…I love you Kyle and the thought of you loving someone else tears me apart. Can’t you understand how much this is hurting me?” I said.

Kyle whimpered and nodded, resting his forehead against mine as tears filled his eyes once more.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Jack. I could never willingly hurt you,” Kyle whispered.

A lump rose in my throat, threatening tears myself, so I lifted my head back away from his. Kyle made a soft whine of protest, but I didn’t give in. I’m still hurt.

“Then why did you let yourself get jealous? Why did you do it when you knew it would hurt me?” I murmured.

“I don’t know, Jack. I’ve already told you this. I couldn’t control it! The jealousy came from nowhere!” Kyle insisted.

I laughed bitterly and shook my head. Jealousy doesn’t come from nowhere.

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” I accused.

Kyle bit his bottom lip, his hands rising to drag his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp in a way that made me moan. Damn it, Kyle knows how much I love it when he does this! He’s doing it on purpose to distract me.

“Kyle, stop,” I groaned.

“But I thought you liked it,” Kyle frowned.

“I liked it before I figured out you learnt it from John Ohh,” I mumbled, speaking my mind.

Kyle let out a harsh laugh, moving his hands to wrap around his body as he rolled onto his back. I immediately missed his warmth but I’m not going to tell him that.

“John was my first, Jack. Of course I learnt a lot from him,” Kyle muttered.

“Is that why you miss him? Because everything he did was new and exciting?” I asked sadly.

Kyle sighed and rolled back to face me, his hands cupping my face.

“Baby, every day with you is new and exciting. John was my past, not my future,” Kyle said softly.

“If he was your past, then why is he so heavily involved in your present? I can’t stand the thought of you wanting anyone else,” I sighed.

“I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” Kyle insisted.

The tone of his voice made me shiver, and I didn’t know if it should’ve. Is Kyle really implying what I think he is? Kyle saw the confusion in my eyes, desperation passing over his face. I frowned, not understanding him, until he lurched forward and pressed his lips to mine. I inhaled sharply but kissed him back out of habit, threading my fingers through his messy hair. Kyle whimpered and kissed me harder; harder and harder until I was on my back and he was hovering over me. I sighed into his mouth and grabbed his ass, pulling him so he was straddling me properly. I want to be close to him. I need to be close to him. Kyle moaned softly, breaking away from my lips.

“Wha…”

My words dried up in my throat as Kyle kissed along my jaw and down my neck, his tongue flicking out to torture my flesh and his teeth nipping every now and again. Already I was lost in a haze of lust, all my thoughts focused on Kyle and his torturous journey. How can such simple actions affect me so strongly? How does he know exactly what to do to get me in such a mess? I whimpered as Kyle sucked on my collarbone, only making him giggle and suck harder. Oh God. Oh Jesus fuck!

“Someone’s getting excited,” Kyle teased.

“Someone’s teasing on purpose,” I retorted.

“Would it be teasing if I took my clothes off?” Kyle asked innocently.

I bit my lip, looking up at him. Was I ready to go all the way with Kyle? Fuck knows we’ve done everything else. Is our relationship ready? Kyle seemed to sense my uneasiness, so he sat up properly.

“What’s wrong, Jack?” Kyle asked softly.

“I-I…I don’t know if this is a good idea,” I blurted, averting my eyes straight away.

But Kyle cupped my face with his hands so I was looking back at him, and smiled down at me sadly.

“Is this because of my reason for being jealous of John and Kennedy?” Kyle asked.

“Well, it’s part of it,” I admitted.

Hopefully if I’m honest, he will be too. I need to know the truth. Kyle took a deep breath, biting his bottom lip. Come on Kyle! I’m horny as fuck!

“I guess I’m jealous of Kennedy because…because I was the last one John made love to. I was the last one he connected with so intimately. And I think because I wasn’t intimate with you to the same level, I was craving it,” Kyle said slowly, as if only just realizing it himself.

Sex? This has all been about sex?

“Are you fucking serious right now?” I groaned.

“Jack, I’m sorry! If I had…If I had…”

“If you had…what, Kyle? Already been fucking me?” I interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

“Jack, please don’t be mad. It’s not like I went over to John’s and seduced him just so I could have someone’s dick up my ass again, is it?” Kyle whimpered.

All I wanted to do was scream and shout at Kyle. How could he be so trivial? And since when has Kyle’s innocent mind revolved around sex?! But I bit my tongue, restraining myself from throttling him. I need to calm down. Nothing will be resolved if I just yell at him.

“Jack, I’m sorry. I love you so much, and I can’t lose you,” Kyle choked.

“I love you too, but…”

I trailed off, not sure what to say. I’ve spent so long fantasizing about being with Kyle, and now I have it, it’s crashing down. Can I really handle this? Should I be okay with this? The way he looked into my eyes, with such vulnerability and passion, crumbled my defenses for good. I want him to prove how much he loves me, and there’s only one way he can do that. I grabbed Kyle’s face between my hands and pulled his head back down to mine, molding our lips together once more. Kyle groaned and kissed back hungrily, his hands threading through my hair, tugging gently. Fuck, I love it when he does that. We rolled our hips together, the denim barriers creating a delicious friction that only made me harder than I’d ever been before. I know what I want now – Kyle.

With that thought in mind, I pushed Kyle away from me, so he landed on his back. His confusion only lasted until I pulled my t-shirt off and unbuttoned my jeans. Kyle quickly knelt up and pushed my hands away, a shy smile on his face.

“I want to be the one to undress you,” he said softly.

I just grinned and nodded, lying down to make it easier for him. In no time at all I was butt naked, and Kyle was between my legs, sucking my hips. He’s such a fucking tease! His thumbs rubbed circles into the inside of my thighs, only driving me crazier, to the point where I was desperate for this to go further.

“Kyle, g-get naked,” I groaned.

Kyle giggled and saluted, moving back to kneel upright as he pulled off his t-shirt. He knew I was in too much of a state to undress him like he’d undressed me. I bit my lip as I watched him shimmy out of his jeans, and moved my hand to wrap around my shaft. I moaned at the rough contact, making Kyle’s eyes widen as he realized what I was doing.

“You have no idea how hot you look right now,” Kyle growled, taking his socks off.

I just moaned in response, starting to pump myself, my hand jerking in time with my racing heartbeat. This was too much. This was all too much. Kyle quickly kicked off his boxers and slapped my hand away, his own hand taking over jerking me off. I couldn’t help the stream of moans that came from my lips, his movements feeling so much better than my own.

“Please Kyle, I need more,” I whimpered.

“I don’t have any lube or condoms on me,” Kyle frowned.

“Funny enough, neither do I. I didn’t exactly plan for this,” I chuckled.

Kyle blushed lightly, chewing on his bottom lip. How can he look so adorable even when he’s pumping my dick?

“What should we do then?” Kyle asked.

“I’ll just have to lube you with my saliva, won’t I?” I smiled.

That smile was the fakest smile I’ve ever done. I’m nervous. No, I’m fucking terrified. I’ve never…taken during sex with a guy before, and I’m not sure if Kyle knows this. When Alex and I fucked, I was on top. Not bottom.

“I’ve never topped before,” Kyle mumbled.

“Then this will be a new experience for you, won’t it?” I encouraged.

Kyle bit his bottom lip, before nodding. Holy shit, this is actually happening. Kyle and I are finally going to cement our relationship with intimacy and it’s in Rian’s attic?! I pushed Kyle’s hand off my dick and moved so I was hovering over his hard-on where he was still kneeling. I could hear Kyle’s breathing quicken as I pressed a kiss to his tip, and I smiled as a few beads of pre-cum leaked out. Kyle whimpered as my tongue flicked them away, but cried out as my lips wrapped around his cock and slowly slid down.

“Jack,” he breathed, his hands knotting in my hair.

I made sure to swirl my tongue every time I bobbed my head, knowing it would drive him crazy as well as covering him. I want him to remember this moment for the rest of his life – I want this to be stuck in the front of his mind. Without warning Kyle pushed me flat on my back, a crazed look in his eyes as he spread my legs. I watched in a lustful fascination as he sucked on three of his fingers, releasing them with a pop that made my dick twitch. Kyle grinned and pressed one finger against my entrance, waiting for me to nod before pushing it in. I grimaced at how uncomfortable it felt, especially as he started wriggling his finger.

“You’ve never taken during sex with a guy before, have you?” Kyle said softly.

“N-No. But how could you tell?” I whimpered.

“You’re so fucking tight,”

On the last word, he pushed in a second finger, making me cry out in pain. FUCK! Kyle froze as a couple of tears leaked from my eyes, worry spreading across his face.

“I’m s-sorry Jack! Should I stop?” he asked.

I just shook my head, gritting my teeth. I want this. I need this. Kyle hesitantly continued to stretch me, only stopping when I started bucking my hips to his scissoring fingers. Kyle hooked my legs over his shoulders as he lined himself up with my entrance, looking straight down into my eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” I whispered back.

I held my breath as he inched himself in, a sob tearing from my throat when he was buried up to his base. I’ve never felt pain like this in my life. It honestly feels like I’m being torn from the inside. It hurts so bad I’m considering telling Kyle to stop.

“It hurts, Kyle. It hurts so bad,” I whimpered, tears leaking from my eyes again.

“I know baby, I know. I’m sorry,” Kyle murmured.

Kyle repeated the words I’m sorry over and over again, pressing kisses all over my face while he waited for me to adjust. It took a couple of minutes for me to be able to wriggle my hips, but as soon as I did, Kyle grinned.

“I’m going to make you feel so good Jacky,” Kyle promised.

And he did. Kyle started thrusting his hips slowly, gradually increasing his pace until I was moaning and writhing beneath him, clutching at his back desperately. Kyle’s hands were on my hips and will probably leave bruises, but right now I don’t care. Right now all I care about is how amazing Kyle is making me feel. I pulled his head down towards mine as my toes started to tingle, connecting our lips in an open, sloppy kiss. Kyle moaned into my mouth and I could feel him start to throb inside of me, so I knew he was close too.

“K-Kyle, I’m so…”

I couldn’t finish my sentence, my words taken over by a scream as he hit a spot inside that I never knew existed. HOLY SHIT! Kyle grinned and continued to pound against that spot, stars shooting behind my eyes as I arched my back and came all over our chest, screaming Kyle’s name. As I tightened around Kyle, he shot into me, coating my walls with his seed. Kyle kept recklessly thrusting until he was limp and both our peaks had washed over us, leaving him to slowly pull out of me and collapse next to me. I didn’t waste any time in wrapping my arms around him, and Kyle eagerly snuggled into my chest, despite both of us being sticky and sweaty.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much,” Kyle mumbled, pressing a kiss to my neck,

“Right back at you,” I panted, kissing the top of his head.

“How long do we have before they think it’s safe to open the door?” Kyle asked softly, looking up at me.

“A little while yet. They probably heard us,” I mused, running my fingers through his sweaty fringe.

“Mm, good. I want them to know how good I made you feel,” Kyle purred, connecting his lips to mine softly.

I just chuckled and kissed his back, savoring the moment. Finally, everything is alright again, and I’m going to make sure it stays this way. No matter what. The future is such a strange thing to think about, isn’t it? How can people say they know exactly what they want to do? The summer is nearly over now, and next year we’ve got to think about college, about what careers we want to go into…and I don’t have a clue what I want. All I do know is that I want Kyle by my side, and now I know he wants to be there too. This summer may have been eventful, but I got what I had wanted after so long. I got Kyle. And I will not lose him for anything. Everything happens for a reason.