There's Always a Catch

“It was a moment of weakness and you said yes….should have said no, should have gone home should have thought twice”

I listened the lyrics of Taylor Swift; Should Have Said No and I never realized how true her words right now. I was driving down the rainy road of Washington, heading towards Forks a small town that nobody really knows about.

I had took time and effort to find this place and I hoped it wouldn’t disappoint me. I was going to live with Forks for what I hoped was a permanent situation. My past was a murky one and I wasn’t fond it. So, in Forks I was going to start anew.

However, sometimes. The past, has to stay with you.

I glanced down at my swollen, rounded stomach protruding from underneath my t-shirt. The t-shirt looked tight on it now, when just a couple of weeks ago you wouldn’t have noticed.

I’m pregnant, if you hadn’t guessed.

I changed the gear, and concentrated on the roads but my mind wandered to my current situation. I was going to have a baby, a real life human baby and it was going have half of my DNA and my blood.

It was going to be mine.

This pregnancy was by no means planned, I was after all at the tender age of seventeen.

I’m not a slut. I don’t sleep around. In fact, I’ve only had sex twice in my non-virgin life. The first time was painful and not a nice experience ( my friends lied to me) and the second and final time was an drunken stupor that if I’m honest I don’t even remember doing. I had realized, three months ago when I first discovered I was pregnant that I had to take the consequences of my actions, I had to be responsible for it.

It would have been okay, if I believed in abortion but it wasn’t I could do. I did consider it, many, many times but I chickened out realizing that the child within me would never see our world.

I considered adoption, but that was soon shot down. I myself, was adopted. I don’t even remember my biological parents. My adoptive parents weren’t loving and kind like you expect parents who want child to be. They were in for the money, the benefits they received when they adopted me. I have a bad childhood, one I’m not proud of and not wanting to talk about. So that is another story for another time.

There’s nothing like the present.

So as you can see, I was left with one option. To give birth and raise the child, giving up all my dreams. I dreamed of being a musician or someone part of the music industry. But that soon collapsed when I received my results.

I’m not going to sugar coat it, I didn’t want this.
I didn’t want to be pregnant right now.
I didn’t want to be alone during the pregnancy.

But that’s how it is…and I have to deal with it.
Whether I liked it or not.

The truth of the matter is, this isn’t about me anymore. This is about a baby that is growing everyday inside of me. That’s what this story is about.