There's Always a Catch

20 weeks. That’s 5 months completely.

5 months. That’s half the way through. Just half and I’m size of a freaking house. Well, I feel it. Alice always assures me that I look lovely for someone’s who’s pregnant. Paul constantly reminds me that I’m beautiful and I have a nice, round bump.

You’re probably what’s going on with Paul. Well, sorry to disappoint. Nothing.
We’re good friends, best friends I could say. Paul is flirty, touchy but he’s never done a move on me and for some what, I’m grateful. I don’t think I could cope with a relationship right now.

“PAUL!” I cheer, as I answered my door that Saturday morning. Paul had turned up, holding a bunch of pink roses. I gasp in surprise.

“Paul! Are these for me?” I ask, shocked. Paul grins cheekily.
“Thought you could do with some cheering up?” he asks, I’d been having a few colds and coughs lately and I’ve missed a fair bit of school. I’ve been down in general too. Paul had been there though, through everything.

I let him come in and Paul hugs me hello. I take the flowers off him and waddle into the kitchen.
“You look good” he calls after me and I can’t help smile as I put them in a vase and put them on the kitchen table. Paul soon followed it, leaning on the door way casually but looked utterly gorgeous doing it.
Paul glanced over my body, taking in my extremely swollen bump. I looked away instantly, not wanting to see the shame.

“So what brings you to my humble abode?” I ask lightly. Paul smirks at me, and makes himself at home, and takes a seat.

“Nothing, just wanted to see you” Paul says casually. My stomach flipped and I realize this time, it wasn’t the baby. Okay, I liked him. I liked Paul, it didn’t mean I was going to go out with him or anything. It was a silly crush that was controlled by my hormones. Big deal.

I’ve been suffering lately with this pregnancy, the back ache, the hunger pangs, the moving around, the tiredness. It was getting so weary. Paul was there though and I never questioned why. He’s been with me for a majority of the tests, excluding the times he’s had to do extra ‘work at school’ but I didn’t want to pressure it.
Tomorrow I had another scan, I was looking forward to as I would see a proper baby shape. I wanted to ask Paul, but I didn’t want him to think be had to be involved. Unfortunately, he noticed my worry.

“What’s wrong babe?” he asks me softly, I couldn’t help smile at the pet name. This was ridiculous. I was acting like a lovesick kid.

“Nothing, I just…” I say and stop suddenly.
“Go on…” encourages Paul and sigh heavily, deciding to give in.
“I have a test tomorrow” I mumble, I sounded nervous which I was. It was a blood test to make sure that the baby didn’t have defects or a condition. I was worried as I didn’t know my own genetic history, nor the father of my child.

“Pick you up at what time then?” Paul says automatically. I suddenly feel worried.
“You don’t have to come, I don’t want you to feel obliged.” I say panicked. Paul smiles as if I said a joke.

“What time am I picking you up Casey?” he asks me again. I see the twinkle in his eyes and I feel my heart skip slightly. Then a burning sensation, was I burning?

No, I had heartburn. I grimaced and Paul looked at me “What’s wrong?” he asks, rushing to me.

“Heartburn” I gasp, rubbing my chest slightly to ease the acidic sensation. Paul went to my fridge and got out some pineapple juice, he poured me and glass and I almost downed it. When I finished and the burning feel faded slightly.
I stared at Paul in disbelief. How did he know…
“You read the pregnancy books!” I say suddenly, giggling and I noticed Paul blushing. Paul had actually made an effort, I didn’t need to ask him if he could get involved. He just did it.

Part of me wondered why the actual, biological father wouldn’t be like this. Paul isn’t even my boyfriend, yet…he act sort of acting like one minus the love stuff.
“It was lying on table the other day while I waited for you to get ready” Paul mumbles and I find myself walking over and giving him a hug.

“Thank you” I say meaning it.
Paul gave me a smile and I gave the same one back.
“Ten. My appointment’s at half past. So pick me up at ten” I say and Paul nods like it was no big deal.
“Want to watch a movie?” he offers.
“Can I choose?” I ask hopefully.
Paul nods.
“Um, White Chicks” I say instantly and Paul rolls his eyes but agrees. We soon settle down and watch it, but about half way through I fell asleep, leaning against Paul. I don’t remember much, I remember him mumbling stuff to me. I didn’t care what it was but it gave me some nice dreams….

---
“Hey Em! Did know that if I’m carrying high, or I crave sweet things I’m most likely to have a girl!” I say amazed, I was reading a Mother&Baby magazine, while relaxing at Emily’s. All the guys,, including Paul and even Leah were out ‘camping’ apparently. Bella was busy with Edward, and it was a school day anyways. I knew I was behind but if you felt how I did this morning, you too would be where I was. Emily had looked after me all morning when I called her and asked if she come over. She had been cooking, cleaning and painting my nails different colours all morning.
“Really? Do you want a girl?” Emily calls to me. I dwell on it slightly before answering.
“I don’t really mind…but I think secretly I’d favour a girl just so I could like a best friend mom to her” I giggle and Emily smiles, as she enters the room carrying tea and a bowl of grapes for me and peanut butter. I was craving fruit and peanut butter smothered on them. I was completely crazed. The other week, I rang Leah in the middle of night just for some raspberries because I was going insane without them. Pregnancy does some weird stuff to you.

“What else does it say?” Emily asks interesting, munching on some grapes. I look back at the page.
“If I was the less aggressive one during sex…it’s most likely a girl and vice versa for a boy. If my hair is really shiny it’s a boy. If I sleep with my pillow facing north, it’s a boy” I list some of the things that were on here, titled Old Wives’ Tales.
“Wow, do you believe in it?” Emily asks me.
I shrug and continue to read silently.

“Have you thought of names?” Emily asks me. I look up and see her looking worried slightly, I didn’t understand why.

“Um, not really” I say, I didn’t want to admit that if I thought of names, I would have to face the fact that this whole thing was truly real. I also couldn’t think of a decent one. A name for a child is a big thing, it’s the name they will have for the rest of their life and in some ways can define them.

Oh my god, I’m reading those books too often, then again it’s not like I have a social life. I’m barely at school and I only talk to the people from La Push, Bella and the Cullen’s.

“Sam and I want children” Emily confides to me and I smile softly. She had told me that her and Sam were engaged to be married by the end of the summer. I would have had my baby by then. Emily says I can come, with my son/daughter too.

“How many?” I ask, feeling comfortable enough to ask.

“3 or 4” Emily says and my eyes widen.
“Why don’t you wait, I’ll tell you had bad it hurts before you decide how many” I joke and Emily giggles. “True, you going have drugs?” Emily asks.

I nod eagerly “Hell yes!” I laugh. There was no way I was doing this entirely natural. It hurts like a bitch, so I’ve read and heard.

“You know, you’ve very mature for your age Casey” Emily says softly. I shrug.
“I guess, I’ve had a lot of maturing to do.” I mumble.
“I know, but you’ve handled this well. You’re taking care of yourself and your baby by yourself. You should be proud” Emily murmurs soothingly.

“Proud?” I scoff, feeling a mood coming on.
“Proud of being a teenage mother? What’s to be proud of that? I’m some knocked up slut you can’t even use birth control properly. My ex-boyfriend dumped me because of it and I’m a laughing stock of the whole entire town. So excuse me Emily if I’m not beaming with pride!” I snap aggressively, feeling the tears furiously drip down my cheeks.

Emily looked hurt and it made me cry more. I was such a bitch.
The door was knocked, then opened and in walked Paul, Sam, Jacob, Embry and Quil. The others were no where to be seen.

“Emily?” Sam says, seeing her, then me.
“Casey?” Paul says at the same time. I sniff, wiping me eyes.

“Hey Paul” I croak. Emily looks at me gently, with no anger or anything on her face and I felt worse.

“What’s going on?” Quil asks, noticing the tension.
“I don’t know!” I cry, suddenly sobbing. I get up, and rushed up the stairs and lie on my bed, sobbing into my pillow wishing I could go to sleep and not wake up for a while.

“What happened?” I hear voices down stairs, it sounded like Paul.
“She’s emotional and tired. That’s all” Emily chides softly and I wanted to scream into tears. Why was I so horrible to her?

“I’ll go talk to her” I hear Paul say. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and soon I feel a weight on my bed and my back being rubbed. I was facing the wall, curled up slightly and Paul was lying beside me.

“I don’t want this anymore. I‘m such a bitch” I sob, turning towards him and curling up against him. Paul put his arm around me. As I cried, he never once let me go.

“You’re not a bitch, you’re a hormonal, pregnant young woman who is very tired and needs some sleep” Paul whispers, stroking my hair. I felt comforted, I felt safe.

“Don’t leave me Paul. I can’t face being alone anymore. It’s too much effort to be strong all the time” I croak. I feel my body being squeezed lightly. I feel something warm upon my head, a kiss from Paul.

“Go to sleep honey, I’ll be here when you wake up” he whispers and I smile slightly and let myself fall asleep for the rest of the night. I dreamed of Paul that night, I dreamed of him holding my child.

I dreamed we were a family.