Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less

When I got home the morning after my parents' first big party of the season, the last thing I was expecting was to be ambushed by Quinn.

Here's the thing about Quinn. I've known the lass since I was little; she's been my best mate since diapers because our mum's were close. Luckily, we were both alike in almost every way and so the friendship was never a forced one. She was like my sister, and that’s why we lived together. We always got along so well and we were such good friends that living together seemed like the only option. It was the perfect arrangement.

Except for when it wasn’t.

Quinn may have been like me in almost every way except when it came to the male sex. She liked having a steady relationship, or at least trying to. Because of this, she never really understood what Matt and I did. She just didn’t get it.

She liked to voice this all of the time too, especially when she caught me doing my walk of shame.

“McKinley Jacobs, yeh should be ashamed of yeh’self!” she scolded me as I was quietly shutting the door, trying to avoid waking her up so I wouldn’t have to deal with her holier than thou attitude.

Rolling my eyes, I turned to face her. “Can yeh spare meh the speech, Q?” Slipping my shoes off, I walked towards our small kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee. “I smoked an extraordinaire blunt last nigh’ and may or may not ‘ave gotten proper pissed wiff Matt so I don’ wan’ ta hear it.”

“Well ‘s too bloody bad, isn’t it?” she hissed, following me into the kitchen. “The poor bloke is so strung up on yeh tha’ ‘e doesn’t even know wha’ ta do wiff ‘imself! And ‘s yeh fault!”

I rolled my eyes again for dramatic effect and poured a cup of coffee. I didn’t bother with any cream or sugar before taking a drink because I knew I was going to need it nice and strong. “’e’s not ‘ung up on meh alrigh’? We ‘ave a nice arrangement, and actually ‘s about ta get even nicer,” I smirked, drinking my coffee and peeking up over the mug to see Quinn’s reaction.

“Nicer? ‘ow?” she questioned slowly.

“Yeh know ‘ow meh parents ‘ave all these stupid parties during Christmas time.” Quinn nodded. “Well meh mum always expects me to eifher show up wiff a date or she sets me up and I hate the thoughts of who she’d set meh up wiff. So, I bring Matt. We get to hang out, and it really pisses off meh parents.”

Quinn just stared at me. “Yeh lost yeh bloody mind,” she said finally with a shake of her head. “Yeh know tha’ by doin’ this ta ‘im, yeh’re toyin’ wiff him.”

“Come off it, Quinn. ‘s no toyin’involved if there are no feelin’s involved,” I informed her confidently. I couldn’t hurt Matt if we kept things simple like we always had. Because even though I didn’t care about him like that, he was still my friend and I didn’t want to crush the poor lad.

“Don’ come cryin’ ta eh when everyfhing goes ta ‘ell, alrigh’?”

I just rolled my eyes and chose not to respond, but instead changed the subject. “Wha’ are yeh doin’ tonigh’?”

She merely shrugged. “Any ideas?”

“Well I ‘ave ta go ta me parents fer dinna tonigh’, unfortunately.” I groaned at the thought. My parents made me have dinner with them once a week, and every week I felt like the dinners got worse and worse. I knew that after my stunt at the party last night with Matt and the blunt, I was going to receive a nice speech, which would make the night drag on and on. I made a mental note to text Matt later and see if he wanted to hang out after, because I was definitely going to need it.

Quinn smiled cheekily. “’ave fun wiff tha’ one, love. Meanwhile, yeh best friend will be going out wiff a lad tonigh’ and ‘opefully gettin’ some!” she exclaimed excitedly.

I laughed. “Wiff who?”

Her cheeky grin returned. “Fer me ta know and you ta…” she trailed off, tapping her chin thoughtfully while looking up towards the ceiling before exclaimed, “not!” Humming happily, she skipped off, leaving me to wonder who she would be seeing later tonight.

I brushed it off and decided to go nap before I had to endure the exhausting experience of dinner later that evening.

***

I fluffed my hair slightly as I stood at the front door of my parents’ house, making sure my pink streak was up front and prominent. The chill from the December air was sending shivers up and down my body and I hoped someone opened the door soon.

My prayers were answered as a maid swung open the door, her fake smile as forced as my own usually was when I stepped foot in this house. I felt her pain. I handed over my black pea coat and gave her a sympathetic smile just as my mother was entering the foyer. She frowned almost instantly upon seeing my skinny jeans and said, “McKinley love, I wish yeh wouldn’ wear those hideous jeans. They make yeh look like a homeless person.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nice ta see yeh too, Mum.”

She sighed and gently ushered me into the sitting room. “Come on, yeh father’s waitin’.”

I followed because I didn’t have a choice, only to find my father sitting in a chair with a glass of scotch in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. Just seeing the smoke made me want to smoke something of my own, but I knew my mum would have a heart attack if I took out a cig and lit it in front of her. Instead, I said hello, kissing my father’s cheek before taking a seat on the couch.

“So,” I started, breaking the awkward silence that had enveloped us. “It was a nice party tha otha nigh’.”

Unfortunately for me, this was where the dam broke open and the disapproving looks in my direction were thrown.

“Kinley, yeh fatha and I need ta talk ta yeh abou’ tha’.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Abou’ wha’?”

My father sighed before putting out his cigar and taking the last drink of his scotch. “Tha lad yeh were wiff, wha’ was ‘is name?”

“Matt.”

“Righ’, righ’. ‘e ‘ad lots of tattoos yeah?” he asked me, but it was as if he wasn’t looking for an answer but rather just pointing out all the bad stuff about Matt. “And ‘e’s in a band yeah?”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Yes, daddy. ‘e has tattoos and ‘e’s in a band. So wha’?”

Suddenly my mum broke into the conversation. “’e’s not good enough fer yeh McKinley. Yeh deserve someone betta wiff a stable job and such, not a lad in a band wiff so many tattoos that he’ll neva ‘ave a decent job.”

“This band ‘e’s in is ridiculously successful. Just ‘cause ‘s not what yeh ‘ave in mind as a decent job doesn’t mean it isn’t okay,” I protested.

“’e’s a bad influence McKinley,” My father said firmly. “Yeh smoke, yeh dye yeh ‘air, yeh do God only knows wha’ else. Yeh need someone who is responsible.”

I didn’t even bother protest because my father’s voice had taken on the what I say goes tone and I knew it was pointless, so I just sat and listened to what they had to say. It went in one ear and out the other.

When they finished, my mum sighed. “We jus’ wan’ what’s best fer yeh, love.” I nodded as if I knew this, but I didn’t believe it. “Tha’s why I set yeh up wiff a proper nice lad fer the next party.”

My eyes widened. “Wha’?”

The smug grin on my mother’s face made my skin crawl. “’e’s perfect for yeh McKinley. I’ll need yeh ta come ova earlier that nigh’ so yeh can meet ‘im, alrigh’?”

I didn’t answer because I knew there was no room for argument. I just nodded. Sure, I would show up early, but I wouldn’t be alone.

I was going to have to go see Matt later.

***

Knock, knock, knock.

No answer.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.

It was louder this time but still no answer.

“Wha’ the fuck,” I muttered under my breath. I continued to knock even louder, my impatience getting the best of me. “Matt! Answa the damn door!”

Just as I started pounding again, the door swung open only to reveal an angry Tom. The scowl on his face was so unusual that I almost didn’t recognize him until he started yelling at me. “Are yeh outta yeh bloody mind?”

I rolled my eyes. “Where’s Matt?”

Turning on his heel he waved in the general direction of Matt’s room before muttering some more obscenities at me. I chuckled before hurrying off to Matt’s room. The door was shut, so I opened it slowly before creeping inside and shutting it behind me quietly. He was lying on his bed, his hair a mess and his sheets tangled all around him, while the TV on the other end of the room was on and playing some stupid show quietly. The blue glow that cast over him made him look funny.

I tip-toed over before slipping my shoes off and crawling onto the bed and under the sheets. I ran my hands through his messy hair and brought my lips closer to his ear before whispering, “Yeh were supposed to be awake when I came ova, Matty.”

Almost instantly, his eyes shot open. The grin that took over his face was massive as he reached out to pull me closer to his body. “Yeh took too long, love.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed away. “So I ‘ad dinna wiff me parents,” I informed him as I sat cross-legged on the bed.

“Oh yeah?” he responded, sitting up, exposing his bare chest to his rather chilly room. “’ow did tha’ go?”

I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. “They wan’ ta set me up wiff some bloke tha’ me mum fhinks is perfect fer me.”

He scoffed. “Unless ‘e smokes weed, parties, and likes sex as much as yeh do, then ‘e won’ be anywhere near perfect fer yeh.”

I smirked, leaning closer to Matt and running my hand over his chest. “Don’ forget tha tattoos.”

He laughed lightly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer to his body. “Of course,” he said simply before quickly replacing talking with kissing.

I reciprocated for a little while, running my hands over his tattoos and through his hair while his own hands explored under my sweater. I let it go on for awhile, maybe longer than I should have, but it wasn’t like either of us was complaining. As his hands grazed the button on my skinny jeans, trying to undue it, I pulled away and swatted at his hands. “Now now,” I hissed, scooting back on the bed. “I need some ‘elp wiff this next party.”

He groaned. “Okay Queen of Blue Balls, what kind of ‘elp?”

“I need yeh ta attend these parties wiff me, ‘cause if yeh don’ me parents will set me up wiff some proper boring bloke and I don’t need tha’. Plus,” I grinned, “yeh make the parties more fun.”

He shook his head and pulled me in again, causing a squeal to leave my lips. “Yeh always know ‘ow ta get wha’ yeh want.” That was the last thing he said, and that was the end of us talking. I knew that this was him agreeing though.

I had a habit of getting Matt to agree to whatever I wanted and this, luckily, was no different.