Constant Companions

~Sarah~

Reach up, brush hair out of your face, be careful not to mess up your make up. And, by no means look at yourself in the mirror. You'll only start crying. Can't cry. Then all of the money you spent on getting ready will have been for nothing. For God's sake, don't look in the mirror, whatever you do.

This was the mantra I repeated to myself over and over again while I shifted awkwardly around. I knew it was useless to be standing in front of a mirror at all at this moment in time, but everyone insisted that I do nothing to get ready, and this room was the only one where there was no one else. I could not stand idly by while my mother got ready for the wedding, watching her load things into the car and prepare food. If I was watching, I would have to help.

That was why I was in front of the mirror. The study was the only room in the house that no one was currently using. With my hair and face in perfect shape for the wedding, and my dress flowing around me exactly how it would in the wedding, I had no other choice but to stand awkwardly around, waiting until it was time to leave for the church. Any other activity would chance a catastrophe that I was not willing to have after all of the planning and preparation.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, telling myself that sooner or later, I would probably going to have to see how I looked currently, and if I let myself stay so close to sobbing like a child, the wedding was going to be a long one.

Opening my eyes again, I forced my gaze upward, locking eyes with myself in the mirror. For a while, I stared at the golden specks in my eyes that broke up the otherwise untainted green. I just could not make myself look at any other feature of my face.

Finally though, I did, swallowing hard and telling myself to stop being so ridiculous. Flicking my gaze upward, I caught sight of my own hair and gasped. It was a complicated mass of braids and waves that I had only ever seen before on celebrities. My usually flat, blonde hair, had been transformed into something completely new, and I could already feel tears prickling at the sides of my eyes when I thought of the occasion for the fancy hairdo.

Shaking my head at myself, I blinked back the tears, and moved my gaze to my own face. My skin looked like porcelain — something else entirely knew. It was a flat, pale peach color along my jaw, forehead, and chin, but turned into a slow blush around my cheeks, giving it more life. I had been insistent that the make up be simple, and would not allow anymore than what was required, so there was little other than the foundation. Even with just that though, I could not believe the change it made in the way I looked.

Still, I liked myself like this. I looked happier than I ever had before, and I knew it was not just because of the make up. I had been counting down the days until this one for months, planning meticulously and dreaming about how it would all go. Like most girls, I had been planning my perfect wedding since I was a child. While the one I was having may not have turned out exactly like the plan — since the plan involved castles and being carried in in lavish, but it was reality, and it was perfect in my eyes now.

While I contemplated what I had planned already, and what was still to come, the door behind me quietly clicked open and a figured slipped in. Refocusing my gaze, I smiled over at my brother as he crept into the room, almost looking as though he expected to be yelled at for entering at all.

I rolled my eyes at him, letting my lip rise on one side to show my teeth. He was in his tux already, and he was shifting around uncomfortably, looking entirely out of place in the formal attire. "Shouldn't you have left already?" I asked him, still looking at him in the mirror. "You're the best man."

"Justin can manage for a while without me," Matt answered, watching me more closely than I was comfortable with. I could tell exactly when he caught the tears in my eyes, and he smirked quickly. "Finally having second thoughts are we?" he joked, stepping forward again until he was right behind me. "I always knew you'd come around."

Snorting at him, I shook my head lightly and turned to face him. "If you couldn't put me off him when you first introduced us, you're not going to now."

Letting out a light chuckle, Matt shrugged, his face growing more serious. Leaning forward gently, he pushed a bang out of my face, pulling it back behind my ear. "You look really beautiful, you know? I've never seen you this happy."

Instantly, I dropped my gaze, feeling a blush come to my cheeks, though it almost certainly did not show through the foundation on my face. Quickly, I punched him in the arm, trying to ease the awkwardness in the room. "Shut up," I muttered, still staring at the floor below me so that I did not have to look him in the eye.

Scoffing, Matt threw his arms in the air. "Fine," he muttered. "Last time I ever compliment you!" He acted as though he was going to leave the room, then he came forward again, pulling me into a quick hug. "Congrats, sis," he muttered into my ear, sounding just as awkward as I felt with the sibling compassion. "Today's going to go over great, and I know you two are going to be happy together."

As he pulled away, I quickly turned back to the mirror, hoping to hide the tears that were quickly filling my eyes again. I smiled at his reflection as we once again locked eyes, then began dabbing at the corners of my eyes with my finger tip, hoping to stop the tears before they ruined my make up.

"I'd better go," Matt said after shifting from foot to foot for a while. "I'm sure Justin's waiting."

The door lightly clicked once again as Matt left the room, and again I found myself alone, staring at my own reflection, though now it was a bit more watery. I knew he was right, of course. Everyone would assume the wedding was a hit as long as something horrible did not happen, like one of us not showing up.

My eyes widened at the thought, and I quickly shook my head to rid myself of them. Of course we would both show up. We had not planned for so long and gotten so excited for nothing. Everything was going to be fine.

Luckily, I was not left alone with my thoughts for very long. Just as I felt the panic rise up in my throat, the door opened again, and my father appeared, in full tux as well. He looked slightly less awkward in a suit though, since in his life, he was occasionally required to wear one.

As he walked in, my father stared behind him, more concerned with what he was leaving than what he was coming up to. "She's losing her mind, I swear," he said, still not turning to look into the room yet. "She keeps insisting we don't have enough food, but there's enough food that's been prepared to feed a small army."

Finally, as he finished speaking, he turned to face me, as I laughed watching him in the mirror. He looked more stressed out than even I did, but, of course, he was trying to ignore it by directing all of his attention to my mother.

When he finally looked at me though, his complaining stopped as a faraway look came over his face. Stepping forward slowly, as if he was in a dream, he stared at my face reflected to him in the mirror. Without a word, he pushed against my shoulder, turning me around so that he could pull me into a hug.

He did not say anything for a while. He only continued to hold me, as if waiting for something to change. Then, he finally took a deep breath and pulled back, looking my face over with tears in his eyes. "You look amazing," he told me softly, reaching up to gently trace my jaw with one finger.

Letting out a nervous chuckle, I blinked back my own fresh tears. "Stop it," I muttered, reaching up to wipe his tears away. "You'll get me started." Then, leaning forward, I placed my head against his shoulder, the same way I used to when I was a child, taking comfort in the memories for a moment.

Quickly, I pulled away, sniffing loudly and turning back to the mirror so that I did not have to continue to look him in the eye. I knew I would never stop blubbering if I thought about childhood and how much had changed.

My dad seemed to follow suit, keeping silent while he awkwardly looked around the room, both of us trying to think of something else to talk about. Then, he let out a sigh, and breathed out, "Is this really happening? It seems like just yesterday I was still tying your shoes for you."

Chuckling again, I nodded. "It's really happening," I told him, barely believing it myself.

Nodding lightly, he took another deep breath, turning back to look at me, though his eyes flitted about, unable to stay in one place for very long. "You really love him, right?" he asked, worrying about me the same way he had all of my life.

This time, I goofy smile spread across my face. Turning back to him, I nodded slowly, unable to keep my lips from pulling back from my teeth, letting out a light giggle as well. "I love him more than anyone else I've ever encountered in my life."

Smiling as well, Dad nodded, pulling me into another hug. I could tell he was hurt at the idea that he was losing his daughter, but, like every other father in the world, he knew it had to happen eventually.

As he pulled away, he coughed awkwardly, muttering, "I have to go help your mother load up the car." Then, he was gone.

For a moment, I stared at the spot where he had been. Then, with a light chuckle, I realized he had been crying, and I had to bite my lip to keep from allowing the thoughts to go too far.

I was getting married today, and the emotions were bound to get out of hand by the end of the day. There was going to be no avoiding it. All of the family emotions that I had tried to avoid for so long were bound to come out today, and after it was all done, I would be a married woman.

Again, a board smile broke out across my face. I could not wait for the ceremony to start.