Constant Companions

[Liz]

I look at the blue dress hanging in the dresser of my apartment. I haven’t worn it in years. I still have the matching ocean blue high heels. Oh God. I guess it’s only fair that I wear this to my ex-boyfriend’s wedding. I met him in these heels. I fell in love with him in this dress. I held back his hair when he was throwing up wearing this color lipstick. I tried to distract the other guests from how drunk Justin was at the Christmas party we were invited to with this same expression.

Now I’m going to the man who’s cost me years of my life get married to his bandmates’ sister. What a world we live in. I guess I can’t complain. I have Mark now. Mark is about to get a promotion because of his presentation for a very big client. He can’t come to the wedding, unfortunately, so I’ll deal with Justin and sit through a wedding where a woman commits not only a year or to, but her life to him. Did he actually get better?

As I drive myself from Chicago to Minneapolis, all my memories seem to come back. I remember the good times and the bad ones. It’s been a long time. I don’t hate the time I’ve spent here; in fact, I very much love the time spent here, but now it’s nostalgic and I don’t want to go back there right yet. I pull into the parking lot of the church and take a deep breath. “Here we go.”

I get out of the car and hurry towards the door. I’m freezing to death in a dark blue dress and heels, but that’s old news. Minnesota didn’t get any warmer and I didn’t get any smarter. I open the doors and close them behind me. I try not to cause a commotion as I hide away from the cold air. What a lovely church. It’s decorated to the nines. Very nice. I hear a little girl say some rhyme in a sing-songy voice. She’s in front of me, holding a womans’ hand, whom I assume is her mother.

“I didn’t think you would show.” Josh said, standing next to me. He always appeared out of nowhere whenever I see him.

“Josh! How have you been?” I hug him tight. Josh and I have known each other long before I even met Justin. In fact, he introduced me to him. He used to be my next-door neighbor when we were moving around in my family all the time. He’s like my big brother, but I haven’t talked to him in quite some time.

“Good, good.” He follows my line of vision and sees the two of them sitting together.

“How’s Jill and Dot?” I said, not lifting my gaze.

“They’re good. They would be here, but for the fact that Dot’s got a cold. I wouldn’t be here if she had forced me out of the house to go see my best friend get married.” I hear him say something under his breath, but I can’t understand it.

“Awww. I hope she feels better.” I stand in silence before finally asking the question on my mind. “Who is that? One of Matt’s other sisters or?”

“No. The little girl is Justin’s daughter, Mia. The woman sitting to the right of her is her mother and Justin’s ex-wife, Antonia.”

Not once, but twice? I look at her and look at Josh. “Why would she-”

“Mia’s the flower girl.”

I exhale a sigh of relief. “Whoo. Thought she was going to sniper him during the ceremony.” We both chuckle and then stop. After more silence, I think of something to talk about. “You like the bride? I’ve only seen the picture on the invitation. She looks like Matt, so I only had to look at the name on the invitation twice to prove it.”

“I like Sarah fine; it’s Justin I’m worried about. I’m sure you get what I mean when I say that Justin doesn’t hold onto people for too long. I mean, the two of them seem like they actually have something in common and he’s not on anything anymore...”

“There’s no obstacles.” I move away from the entrance as an elderly couple are bickering about food. “I always thought for us it was just the alcohol abuse. Maybe I’m wrong.”

“Justin and Toni lost the spark they had before Mia was born.” He sighed. “She’s a decent person and all. She’s not as upbeat as she used to be, but it’s not like that’s a surprise. Mia’s very sweet, though she can be a little...rambunctious.” Mia gets up and starts walking towards the entrance. “Speak of the devil.” Mia starts to run for the exit and we both clear out so we don’t trip her.

“Just like her father. You want to sit down?”

“Sure.” We walked down the aisle, looking for a seat.

“Which side is which? I don’t know if I’m for the bride or the groom.”

“The left is the bride, I believe, and the groom on the right. I say we sit on the right side since we know the groom better.” I slide into a row two behind Antonia. Her purple dress looks very pretty and I can understand why Justin enjoyed her for the time he did. I let my light, nearly white blonde hair grow out for the wedding. I didn’t really like it too long, but for right now, it looked alright.

“All we have left to do is wait.” And waiting is something I don’t do very well.