My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

“My ball! My ball! My ball!”

I looked up from my homework and see the first baser catching the ball and throwing the ball back at the pitcher. His arm swings back and then forward at full speed to cut across his torso. The pitcher catches it and turns back at the batter. His eyes concentrate, analyzing, watching where he wants the ball to go. The pitcher throws it.

My pitcher.

The only pitcher I've come to admire since freshmen year. He’s been a great impact on my life even if I haven’t been one to his. I've never been close enough to talk with him. I know he's not exactly my pitcher but sometimes I like to think he is. I like to think I'm better than his girlfriend.

Marissa. That two faced, cheating excuse of a girlfriend. What did he ever find in her? Sure, she's got the body everyone envies. She's what some people would label as 'easy'. But she isn’t beautiful, beautiful is him, Gerard Way. The flawless tall Captain of the Varsity Baseball Team. The pitcher. He's in two of my classes, Italian and Art.

I don't mean to brag but I've been in a sport or two. I don't consider myself great looking. My hair, well, it's shoulder length and plain brown. I have a piercing on my lip and nose. I have tattoos littering my body, all approved and signed by my older friend since I'm not of age... Yet. I have a great body for someone my height. I just don’t feel like I’m going to get somewhere in life.

"Frank!"

I jump out of my seat from the side bleachers facing the batting cages. I drop my book and homework in the process. I look over to the side to see where the person who said my name came from. I glance at the couple sitting at the far left corner expecting it to be them, but one quick glance straight ahead and I see my friend. I roll my eyes.

"Mikey, any damn louder, please?" I yelled back at him.

I watch him laugh his way over to me. I pick up my stuff and sit down. Mikey Fucken Way. The brother.. Unlike his brother’s red dyed hair, he has brown straightened hair in between the sides of his glasses, shooting out like knives. That's personally what I think of when I see it straightened. He's lean, but i call it scrawny. He wears band tees and wrist bands. How in the world is he related to Gerard Way?

"Sup Frank, I uh, see you looking at the team over there. Got a crush I don’t know about?"

He scrunches up his face and pushes up his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He takes seat next to me and points over to the team, referring to them. Oh by the way I'm bisexual, must've slipped my mind. Mikey knows, my dad knows, heck the whole school knows. They don’t seem to mind though. Surprisingly, my school isn't filled with verbal homophobes. Everyone mostly like to keep to themselves.

“No…” I reply.

“What about the first baser?”

He scratches his chin. His eyes study the guy at first base while I contemplate. I make him wait a few minutes, his face turning into a grimace as he continues waiting. He finally gets that I’m playing with him and he turns to look at me with an annoyed look. I roll my eyes and laugh at him.

“No,”

“Second?”

“No,”

“Third?”

"No,"

"Hmm...Batter?"

"Nope, Mikey just give up."

I groan inwardly as he gives a brief ‘hmph’ and continues looking at the baseball team. I sigh and lay down on him, my feet resting on the bleachers. I look at him from this angle and he quickly looks down at me before placing his elbow on my chest and his hand supports his chin. It tickles and I can’t help but squirm.

“How about anyone from the outfield, or infield?"

"No and no."

"God, Frank. You're so...so... I don't know… um, strange?"

"Oh yeah, I'm so strange,"

Nice going you idiot, you forgot to mention the pitcher, your brother to be exact. Oh geez, I sound like a teenage girl drooling over her middle school crush. I seriously need to stop doing this to myself. This is social sucided. Well... only if people find out. I mentally roll my eyes at myself and sigh.

"Fuck you," he said, while shoving me.

"In your dreams."

"Oh you know it."

We end up snickering at our own little jokes. I sigh and look at the sky as Mikey continues to think over who I would have a crush on. I bite the inside of my lip as Mikey sighs and moves his elbow from my chest as if giving up. I sigh in relief and close my eyes.

"Everyone go take a drink of water and hustle back!"

I look over to see Gerard walking over to the gate that separates us. Great. My palms are all sweaty, my heart is skipping beats, and my stomach is doing flips. I’m probably going to make a fool of myself for getting myself so worked up over him. I try to take deep breathes to control my heart beat.

"HEY GEE!"

I flinch. I think I’ve gone deaf. Gerard chuckles as he leans against the gate, watching Mikey and I make our way down the bleachers. Mikey jumps the final step down as I continue my safe journey towards the fence. I get there and lean against Mikey, setting my head on his shoulder.

"Sup Mikey, Frank." He smiles.

"H-hey,"

Way to have my first impression ruined. I mentally slap myself and gather my thoughts. I clear my throat and rub my cheek against Mikey’s shoulder as if to get rid of my thoughts. Mikey shoots me a weird look and I simply shrug. He goes back to looking at his brother.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asks, taking a sip of his water bottle.

"Well Frank here is doing his homework and I'm keeping him company."

"Oh nice,"

"Yeah and you’re training?" Mikey asks, waving over at the field.

"Kind of, right now we're doing strengthening for the ones who want to try out for the team in about three months,"

He moves his hands around motioning to some of the guys that were around drinking from their water bottles. He looks down at his shoes as he opens up his water bottle and takes a sip. He runs his hand through his hair and looks back at us.

"Oh great, cuz Frankie here," he says elbowing my side, "wants to try out."

"I-I what?" I stutter, causing it to get me another hit on the ribs. I glare at Mikey and huff, leaning away from him and taking a seat on the bottom bleacher. I glare at the back at Mikey’s head momentarily then go back to looking at Gerard.

"Oh really?" he asked, looking at me now. "Are you any good?"

"I guess, I mean, I've only played when I was in middle school."

"Oh well that's great at least you have some experience,"

"Do I stand a chance?" I asked.

"We'll see," He smiles smugly.

"Oh, so I can still come to practices?"

"Yeah we're just conditioning. Then try outs are on December."

"Oh great, then I guess I'll show up tomorrow."

"Great see you here, well Mikes I gotta go back, see you at home," He says.

He looks back at the long forgotten Mikey and back to me, "Bye Frankie." He says.

He turns around and walks over to the team. I think I just saw his hips sway side to side. I'm seeing things. I shake my head. I purse my lips together and stand up, clasping my hands together in front of me. I look up at Mikey expectantly and find him staring at me.

"Ohh,"

"What?" I ask confused.

"I see who you like now,"

Panic settles within me. I don't let it show. I try to calm myself down and gather my thoughts. I clear my throat before I reply calmly, "Who?"

"The Captain."

He grins, his stupid goofy grin.