My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

It was Thursday. Why couldn't it be Friday already? I don't want to go through two days of Gerard ignoring me. It sucks thinking that someone likes you but they end up ignoring you for things they cause. I mean I know I barely met him a week ago but why did this have to happen? This is all like some bad soap opera my mom watches every Wednesday. It's over dramatic.

"Frank! Frank! Dude, Frank!"

I stop dead on my tracks as I hear my name being shouted down the hall. I look around and see Mikey coming towards me, having descend the second floor. He looked alarmed. I take a few steps closer and glance at him warily then behind him.

"What?" I asked, holding his shoulders as he tried to regain his breathing.

"You will not believe what just happened," he breathed out.

He keeps looking around, trying to see if someone has been following him. Judging by the calm face he pulls when he finally sweeps one last look through the crowd, he's not. .he runs a hand through his hair and rubs his face for a few seconds before he looks down at the floor, pursing his lips in contemplation.

"What? What happened? Tell me,"

I shake him by his shoulder. He shrugs my hands away and takes hold of my arm leading me away from the crowded hall. We push through a sea of shoulders, ones that seem to be getting wider. We're at the field's bleachers now, I sit under the closest ones to the ground. His death grip on my shoulder is gone now. He paces back and forth, his fingers on his chin as he continues thinking.

"Gerard got back with Marissa," he says as he sits down and faces me.

I stare at Mikey in confusion, trying to comprehend what he just muttered. He turns to look if I've been paying attention to what he just stated. I look down at my legs, my hands resting on my knees. Realization finally dawns on me as the words sink in.

"...He did?" I breathe out those two words, letting go of the rest of the air I didn't know I was holding in. I rub my hands up and down the sides of my calves, out of habit I guess.

"Yeah, and the thing is, he forgave her. He's stupid, I swear."

I hum out my agreement, staring at the sand beneath my shoes. I move my shoes slightly, seeing the bit of sand-dust pool around them. Out of the corner of my eye I see Mikey stand up, sand-dust swimming in his spot. I keep my eyes averted down. He probably left me here to think. But I'm wrong when I lift my head up expecting to see the gate, instead I find Mikey sitting in front of me.

"Tell me what's on your mind,"

He leans in closer to me, holding onto my shoulders. I sigh, racking my brains for answers to give him. My eyes dart back and forth into empty space, my eyebrows furrowed. What did I feel? I felt jealousy, sadness, pain. Overall hopeless. Yet I can't voice this to Mikes. I feel as if I have lost my voice.

"Are you mad? 'Cus if you are, I understand,"

I nod in approval. Yes, I am mad. Mad at him, because he kissed me. Mad because he ran off to his girlfriend. Even madder because he knew she cheated on him.

"I won't care." I manage to croak out. My throat feeling like sand paper every time I swallow. I shake my head in disbelief. I probably had this coming, I mean, what did I expect? For him to show up to my house and ask me out? No. Gerard wouldn't even think about doing that in a million years. Fuck I'm so stupid. He must think I'm stupid for having a little crush on him. He probably laughed it off after that kiss. He's probably going to around telling people how fucking pathetic I am. I'm being pathetic right now.

"Frank, don't say that. You know you care; I know you care. I see that stupid look in your eyes every time you hear someone mention him. So don't say you won't care."

I hear the disappointment in his voice, even though his face doesn't show it. I see his hands resting on his lap, never feeling when they left my shoulders. In the distance I hear the bell go off for first period. I stare at Mikey, waiting for him to give the approval to go. Instead I see him waiting for an answer. A minute later, feels like hours, Mikey sighs. We get up and wipe the dirt from the back of our jeans. We're back inside the crowded hallways. We managed to make it to our English class just in time for the last bell to ring. I sit quietly in my desk with Mikey glancing my way every few minutes. I'm lost in my own world, thinking of many things. The bell finally rings, snapping me out of my trance. I gather my things together and place them inside my bag. I wait for Mikey to slip in his pencil into his bag. He always walks me to my second period; his is just a few doors down.

"I'll see you after school okay?"

I nod my head in dismissal. He sighs one more time before he pats my back and walks off to his room. I stand outside my history class for a few minutes watching the kids walk in. I stare at Marissa as she enters the room. I sigh as I walk in after a few other students and take my seat. I stare off into space again, sometimes to come back and stare at Marissa. The teacher rambles on and on about some guy named Rousseau. I got caught staring at her, her brown eyes full of confusion as to why I'm starring at her. She sends me a dirty look and scoffs, turning away. The third bell goes off and I'm off to the third class. I feel tired, I've got a headache. Lunch was no better, the awkward silence between Mikey and I made me lose my mind a bit. I don't even want to go in there. I fear I might break down or something if I see those two in there. Like in the last class, I wait a minute outside, knowing that I took my sweet time getting here. I take a deep breath and walk into class with my head held high.

"Frank."