My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

"Frank."

I turn my body towards them. I stand in front of their table, their eyes studying me. I lift my eyebrows, urging him to go on. My hands find my pockets, sliding them in I feel a piece of paper in my left one. My jeans go slightly down from my hands pushing down on them.

"I'll see you at conditioning later, kay?"

He smiles. Gerard turns back to face his girlfriend and smiles at her. She takes one quick look at me and smiles smugly back at him. I stare at him in disbelief, one of my eyebrows still up. I walk away from their table, slightly dragging my shoes towards mine. I slump down on my seat. My eyes dart back and forth from the teacher to the back of Gerard's head. I sit their dumbfounded. My eyes furrowing as I glare down at my desk.

What the hell is going on with him? I felt tightness in my chest, my lungs trying harder to expand. Probably anxiety from keeping too composed. I take in deep breaths to control my breathing. An hour and a half into the lessons I interrupt the teacher by asking him if I could go to the restroom. He shakes his head and hands me the clipboard. The clipboard is the pass to get around school. I walk hurriedly out the door and down the hall. I walk a few class rooms down and turn left into boy’s restroom. I walk into one of the stalls and sit there for the remaining of my second language class. I know I shouldn’t be ditching because then I’ll miss the remaining of the lesson and complain about it during the big test but I just need alone time. A minute or two, I walk back to the class, hanging the pass on the nail in the wall. I shove my things into my bag, and wait silently in my seat for the bell to ring. I'm now in fourth period, Art. The only class I have alone with him. I walk in right away, remembering the awkward entrance I had to go through during the last period.

"Frank, sweetie, would you mind handing out these sheets for me?"

I see my art teacher quickly glance at me from under her glasses and back to stare at the papers in her hand. I take the papers from her hand after I've gotten up. I walk back and forth the rows, skipping some desk knowing there was no one there today or no one has been assigned. I manage to leave one on top of Gerard's desk, hurriedly walking to the next. Kids started filling in, Gerard among the mass of people. I walk back quickly to my seat, taking the longer way to my desk. I do a little more in this class, seeing as I like art. I go along with what the teacher wants us to draw, a bunch of cups and flowers on top of a cloth covered table. It helps me relax a bit, makes me forget for a while. I'm about ready when the bell finally rings. I'm walking across the campus and up to my chemistry class.

"Hey there handsome,"

I stay starring down at the white shoes near my desk for a while before looking up. I see her brown hair tied up behind her in a messy bun. Ashley stands there smiling waiting for me to respond. I sigh before giving her a small smile and mutter a 'hello'.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh just problems,"

"Well you know, I'm always here for you. Okay?"

She smiled and went off to her seat. The teacher goes over electronegativity and all that other difficult stuff. I sit there with my eyebrows furrowed, erasing over answers. I'm going to fail. This is honors for fucks sakes and she needs to take a chill pill because she’s going too fast and this is all so boring. Minutes fly by and I'm sitting next to Ashley. There's a few minutes left till school ends.

"So you wanna hang after school?"

I think; what am I doing after school? Oh yeah, I somewhat agree to meet up with Mikey after school and then Gerard expects me to show up for conditioning. I mentally slap myself. I shake my head and sigh.

"Can't, I've got conditioning and I gotta meet up with my friend,"

"Damn, well how about tomorrow?"

"Only if you’re willing to wait up for me tomorrow? I've got conditioning."

"Of course, I'll hold you to it."

She smiles and fixes her bag. The bell finally rings and I'm off to my locker. I find Mikey perched up against his. He seems deep in thought, staring at his shoes. I make my way to him and open my locker. I dump my books in and close it. I turn to face Mikey. He finally looks up and stares at me.

"Ready to go?"

I shake my head.

"I remember I had conditioning."

His face grows in disbelief. He rolls his eyes and mutters something I couldn't quite catch. He sighs and nods his head in approval.

"Yeah okay then. I'll see you after?"

"Sure."

He walks away, flinging his bag onto his back. I walk away from the lockers and across the black top. I'm inside the guy’s locker room now, changing. I walk outside and to the batting cages. I feel that tightness in my chest again. I greet some of the guys there, knowing only some of them. Stand there in line with most of them, waiting for Gerard to show up. Minutes later he shows up. He apologizes to us and makes us stand in two lines. I'm somewhere in the middle for the second line. I can't stand being anywhere near him right now. We finished running and we've now finished stretching. The work out wasn’t so bad but he tells us some time after Christmas break we’ll get to learn the basics of baseball. He reminds us about showing up tomorrow. I walk off to the locker rooms, already dismissed. I'm at the sign out sheet, waiting for the guy in front of me to finish.

"Frank?"

I look up and see Gerard coming from the coach’s office. He's smiling. I sigh loudly, and raise my eyebrow.

"About yesterday, I know we were just confused and all that jazz, so I forgive you. Let's just forget that ever happened alright?"

I stare at him in disbelief. Forget about it? forget about it. It takes everything in my will to not punch him in the face this instant. I look down at the paper, reading the over the names that have already signed out. I shake my head and quickly write mine down. I look back up and he's still there, waiting.

"Yeah, sure."