My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

I hear voices fill my head or maybe the room. I’m not sure. They’re muffled and I can’t hear them through the right side of my ear. I furrow my eyebrows as my nose come to contact with something cold and soft. I wriggle my nose in attempt to shake it away. It ends up staying near my nose and I groan in defeat.

“Shut up now, he’s waking up.”

I blink furiously as I sit up, running my fingers through my hair trying to undo some knots. I yawn and wipe my eyes. I look around as I finally keep my hands in my lap. I notice that the cold thing rubbing against my nose was a pillow and that this isn’t mine or Mikey’s room but rather Gerard’s. I look down at the soft blanket pooled around my legs and look back up to notice an annoyed Gerard and a very amused Mikey.

“Hey,”

“Hey,” Mikey replies while Gerard only rolls his eyes while walking out.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, you know Gerard’s just annoyed because he found you snuggled up next to him.”

“What?”

“Oh don’t act so naive Frank. I know you; you just can’t get away from Gerard. No matter how much you complain that you don’t like him and the way he acts.”

“Fuck off Mikey; I’m not a morning person.” I groan.

I get out of bed and try to remember where I’ve left my shoes. I remember that I had shed them off last night while talking with Mikey about the song. I groan and stretch as I make my way across the hall and into Mikey’s room. I grab my shoes by his bed and slip them on, heading back down stairs to the kitchen. I grab a cup from a cabinet and head over to the coffee maker.

“You’re not getting away that easily. We’ll talk about this later on. Now, tell me why there is a picture of me, on my phone, sleeping?”

“Mikey, just forget about it. You didn’t even text your girlfriend goodnight so I had to do it for you.”

“Oh god, I can’t believe you did that.” He groans and leans against the kitchen island.

I go back to pore some coffee into the cup and hold it up to my cold nose. I go to a different cabinet in search for the sugar and drop a few spoonfuls into my cup. I begin to sip on it, being careful as to not burn my tongue with the steaming hot liquid. I stare at Mikey while I sip my coffee, expecting him to keep talking. I didn’t have to wait long before I was questioned as to why I was sleeping in Gerard’s bed. I stiffen and stop drinking for a bit, letting his question sink in. I’m not sure what part of me wanted me to lie to Mikey but I couldn’t stop the word vomit coming out.

“I was going to talk to him about his girlfriend.”

“What?”

“I- I don’t know.” Oh shit.

“Why would you do that?”

“He should have a right to know that his girlfriend is cheating on him.”

“Yes but that doesn’t mean to just lay it on him like that. You have to break it down for him or better yet let his girlfriend tell him.”

“But what if she doesn’t end up telling him?”

“Well if it goes on for far too long I’ll break it down for him, not you.”

“Whatever.” I grunt and look away, finishing my coffee before setting the cup in the sink.

I walk away from Mikey and head to the living room, picking up my discarded sweater. I slip it on before I start heading away. I stop for a few seconds, hearing the silence enveloping the house. I hear the faint breathing of someone not to behind me, knowing its Mikey waiting for me to do something. I look down at my shoes before sighing.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at the fair.” I say.

I open the door and walk out, shutting it behind me. I walk down his front lawn and down the side street to my house. Minutes pass by until I arrive at my house, finding my mom in the living room not sat down at the couch but watching the TV. I furrow my eyebrows but not think much about it. I leave my shoes by the door and walk over to where my mom is perched against the couch. I touch her shoulder and she turns to me, pulling her hand up to her mouth and hugging me with the other. I stare at her back in confusion and look over to the TV.

“What happened?”

“Someone was found hung at a tree at the park a few streets away. Honey, when I heard that it was a young male I thought...”

“Shh- Its okay I’m right here.”

“I know.”

She sniffs as I look at the TV screen and watch a woman in a gray suit stand a few feet away from the crime scene. The rope and body are not hanging from the tree but the ladder is still there in full display for the news reporters. A lot of cop cars and a few ambulances surround the scene not letting much be seen apart from the tree and ladder. I shiver but disguise it by shuffling over to the couch and sitting her down.

“Oh Frankie, you don’t know how scared I was. I got goose bumps from just hearing it,” she touches her arm as if to recall the feeling.

“I honestly didn’t know something could happen. Have they mentioned how old or the cause?”

“They’re still figuring that out and I think he was about twenty-two.”

Six years ahead of me. That’s not much if I think of the physical differences. Twenty-something year olds tend to look like they’re still eighteen. I shudder again, feeling a wave of nausea over come me. What would actually happen if that was actually me and my mom never stopped worrying? Would the cops deliver the message? Would I leave a message? I get rid of those thoughts and focus on soothing my mom.

“Come on, too much TV is bad. This stuff doesn’t do anything good for you.”

She nods and wipes away the few tears she had falling down her cheeks. She grabs the remote and turns off the TV. I give her a small smile as she gets up and heads for the kitchen. She asks me how my stay at Mikey’s was and if I ate breakfast. I nod even though she can’t see me from in there and continue nodding but still reply to her.

“It was great. I did eat breakfast.”

As soon as I say that my phone vibrates. I shove my hand down my pocket and struggle to take out my phone from within its confinements. I hum as I read it’s a message from Mikey. I try flipping my phone with one hand as the other one lays behind my head. I manage to open and drop it to the floor. I bend over and grab my phone not bothering to stand back up.

I forgot to tell you that I already booked you at that one stage where bands always play... so just be ready and see you backstage at 12am.

I shrug and close it. I remember that I haven’t told my mom about me playing at the fair and I contemplate on whether it would be a great idea to tell my own mom to show up. I decided that I shouldn’t tell her I’ll be playing but just showing up.

“Hey, ma?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to the fair with Mikey tomorrow, is that fine?”

“Yeah okay, just make sure you wear a jacket; it’s getting pretty windy.”

“Okay. Another thing, I’m going out right now. I’m gunna hang out with a couple of different friends.”

“Oh, alright. Is it the other two boys you used to hang out with?”

“You know me.”

I grin as I look down at my phone and text the two people I haven’t contacted in a while.

Be prepared. Time to fuck shit up.

It takes about thirty minutes for me to arrive at their house. Instead of heading to the front door as other people, I head to the garage and pull it up. I grin as I find everything the same way as it was when I left. I hold on to my guitar strap tightly with my left hand as I greet the two guys I haven’t seen in the last few months. I get a big bear bone crushing one from the blond one and a much softer one from the brown hair one.

“It’s been too long.”

“I know,”

“Damn Bob, you sound even manlier than the last time I left you guys.”

“S’just the way I am, I guess,” He shrugs and grins.

“Ray man, I swear that fro of yours is deflating.”

“It’s just sad that it hasn’t seen you lately.”

“Oh poor hair,” I say as I pat it.

Ray pushes me away as he grins, rolling his eyes at me. I smile and go over to one of the many amps littering the garage floor. I shrug of my guitar case and pull out my guitar. I hold it in front of me and stare at its black beauty. I plug it in and carelessly strum it, trying to listen if it’s out of tune.

“Still have the old guitar, man if I had I dollar for every day that I’ve seen you with it…” Bob says as he sighs.

“She’s still very dear to me. I don’t play her as often as I’d like to.”

“Why is that?” Ray asks.

“Well actually I have new friends.”

“What? You’ve replaced us?” Bob gasps, mocking me.

“No, I just added to my list of friends.”

“Since when have you been cheating on us, Frank?” I laugh at Bob as he tries to maintain a straight face asking me.

“Well you’ve known Michael for a few months actually, you just haven’t met him. Now I talk to his brother.”

“That’s great; Frank is making high school buddies.” Ray chuckles.

“It’s whatever.”

“Yeah well I bet having college buddies is better, huh?”

“Yes Bob,” I roll my eyes at him.

“So what brought you to have a meeting like this?”

“I have to perform tomorrow and I need a band.”

“The song?”

“It’s for his brother.”

I won’t go into full detail as to how the band session went but I will say that the song sounded pretty great even if we only rehearsed for a few hours. I messed around a few times with the guys, they even punked on me for not drinking. I think they called me a sissy for not drinking while doing baseball conditioning. Their comeback was that, “if I’m doing exercise, the alcohol will be sweated out’. I don’t even know where they get their information from. I thought college people would be smarter than that.

Come to think of it, I haven’t had any information on baseball if we were suppose to condition during winter break. I think I need to talk to Gerard. I feel like I’ve been missing out on a lot.

“Well Frank, it was nice seeing you today. I expect more visits from you.”

“Yes Bobert, I know.”

“Damn right you little pickle,” he grabs a hold of my head and dishevels my hair with his fist. I push him away and pat my hair down, rolling my eyes at him as he grins.
“We’ll I’ll see you guys tomorrow early in the morning before twelve to go on.”

“Wait, what? I thought you meant like at midnight.”

“Bob, What the fuck are you on? Are you serious? What gig have you done that was at midnight?” Ray tells Bob.

“Well you know a lot of bands-“

“Not the bands, but us.”

“Oh… none.”

“Bob, you crazy fuck. See you guys later it’s almost time for dinner and I haven’t had lunch but that damn lunchables you guys took out for us.” I say.

“You fucken loved it. Admit it.” Bob smiles at me.

“I had to remind you guys that I don’t eat meat.”

“We’ll it was ham.”

“It’s the same shit.”

“Are you serious?”

“Bob!”

“Alright, don’t get your panties in a twist tinker bell.”

I get into the car and strap on my seatbelt before waving goodbye to them. I arrive home no later than six thirty. I pull in and park the car. I walk inside and find my mom in the kitchen.

“Hey Frank, how are your friends?”

“They’re fine, they said to tell you hello and that they miss living across from us because you would always cook better than them.”

“Oh tell those boys they’re very welcome to come over and stay some day for dinner.”

“Will do.”

I head to my room as soon as I finish talking with my mom. I pull out my phone and text Mikey.

So like being book includes two other dudes right?

I wait a few minutes before I get a reply.

Yes. Frank? I’m having some trouble having Gerard show up... He doesn’t want to go without his girlfriend.