My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

"She's got a knack for hurting me, is it the words she says? The only thing that keeps me here is her eyes in the morning. Well I packed my things a thousand times and, and I've faked believed all her lies, for the last time."

I look over to Gerard and find him staring at me intently. I breathe in fast and look away before getting nervous and forgetting the lyrics.

"The other day I drew myself a map, so I could figure out your head," I lift my eyebrow and look at Gerard and roll my eyes before looking back at the crowd. "The canvas dripped with my sweat, blood, and tears; and she hated every thread."

"Well I packed my things a thousand times, and I fake believed all your lies, for the last time.

“Take it or leave it. Cause I'm really leaving. I've purchased my ticket to New York. First thing in the morning, kissing you good morning, and whispering goodbye."

For the remaining of the song I alternate from looking at the crowd and then at Gerard. I try not to make it too obvious but I’m pretty sure his girlfriend caught on and kept glowering at me. At times I'd see her pull on his sleeve to try to get him to leave but he'd remain in tack staring at me.

"’Cause I try to love you, try to hold on to, the feeling that makes me fall for you. Oh, the feeling that makes me fall makes me fall for you."

I strum down and let the strings vibrate for a few seconds. I such in a huge breath of air and let it go, smiling at the audience as I get off the stool and bow with Ray next to me and bob behind his drum set twirling the sticks in between his fingers, doing the same thing. I look over at Mikey's side and find that it’s only Mikey standing there. I shoot him a confused look as I step back, he gives me a defeated look as he drops his hands down to the side of his thighs. The last thing I see before the curtains are being lowered is him mouthing sorry. I grimace and turn around, ready to pack everything up. I'm being stop by a set of arms and I look up finding Bob giving me a sad smile.

"Stop, tell us how you feel."

"I'm okay, seriously. We just need to hurry up and pack to let the other bands on."

They give me a look before sighing and helping me out. We finish in around thirty minutes seeing as we're only three members. I wait outside the car and cross my arms.

"Frank, are you getting in?"

"Yeah just give me a minute to go find Mikey and ask him what happened."

"No, you'll just end up feeling worst. Come on, let's just go home and eat our feelings." I hear Bob say with a hint of a smile in his voice.

"Fine, whatever, I'll just text him." I sigh and roll my eyes at Bob's logic.

I ride in the back this time, holding my head in my hand and my elbow leaning near the window. I look at the trees and sky as we head to my place first, I only had a guitar with me so I was the first one to be dropped off. I don't know how long we were in the car but we finally arrive at my house. I grab my guitar strap and open the door.

"So you want us to drop by again so we can-“

“No it’s alright; I just need to be alone.”

“Okay, bye. See you some other time.”

“Bye.”

I shuffle out and shut the door. I walk down the lawn and up the steps to my door and take out my key. I turn around and wave goodbye to the guys as the drive off. I turn back around and open the door. I slam it shut as soon as I get inside, dropping the guitar down into a couch and walk to the kitchen in search for something to do. I open the fridge and look around before grabbing a juice pouch and head down the hall.

“Hey ma, I’m home.”

“Okay, how did it go?” I hear her say from her room.

“Could’ve gone better,” I mutter. I begin going upstairs to my room but the voice of my mother stops me midway.

“What happened?”

“We’ll I wanted a certain group of people to listen to it but they didn’t show up.” I half lied.

“Oh well, maybe they’ll get to see it when people upload videos.”

“Yeah…” I trail off.

I continue walking up the stairs and drinking my juice before walking into my room and plopping down onto my bed resting one arm behind my head. I feel something vibrating against my thigh and look down to see my pocket. It takes me a few seconds to respond before bringing down my hand and digging my phone out, feeling my jeans go a little down by the movement.

Hey how's it going the text message read. It was from Mikey.

Okay

I’m sorry I couldn’t keep gerard longer

it’s alright, as long as he heard part of the song

Yeah I really tried though. Its just that his girlfriend kept bugging hin
Him*

Why

She was getting moody and if you only could’ve seen gerards face up close but I could tell he kind of understood what you were trying to say

Oh really? I didn’t think he actually liked it. That totally changes my mood

Why? Were you sad and ship?
Shit* damn auto correct

I guess you could say that. Anyway do you mind if I come over to your place tomorrow to get ready to go back to school?

Yeah totally, just don’t get all depressed on me alright

Yeah yeah whatever. Bye Mikessss

Bye

I lock my phone and look at it. I unlock it and go through my contacts. That’s who I’ve been missing! Ashley didn’t get to see me perform. Well that’s a bummer. I guess I’ll update her tomorrow during class.

I throw away the juice pouch as soon as I finish it. I purse my lips and contemplate on what to do now that there’s nothing left to do. Maybe I should just go over to Ashley’s and tell her all about the fair and my performance instead of telling her tomorrow.

I shove my phone back into my pocket and rush back down stairs. I grab my keys and my guitar before going back up and leaving it on my bed. I hurry down the stairs again and begin heading towards the door.

“Frank, what is all that noise? Sounds like you’ve brought elephants into the house,” she says as she comes out of her room.

“Sorry I was going to go see Ashley.”

“Alright, well tell her hi for me. Don’t be out too late alright?”

“Alright.” I kiss her cheek before walking out the door.