My Bulletproof Heart, Your Hollow Point Smile

Gray. Gray is such a boring color, yet we use it. We wear it, and we walk on it. And that's what I'm doing right now; walking on gray. Gray cement, covered in spots. Those spots are gum. At least I think they are. I was heading to school, looking down at the ground and fixing my backpack now and then. Why does school start so early in the morning?

"Ey yo kid, want a smoke?"

I looked up to see a chunky guy holding out a cigarette. He was surrounded by what seemed to be his friends, who also had a cigarette in hand.

"Uh no, I don't smoke," I replied.

You see, if you have any form of drugs in your system, the school won't let you join any sport. Doesn't matter if it was just one quick smoke or a bit of a sniff of cocaine, you can't be part of a team. That and I'm paranoid. I kept walking, heading to the school's bus stop. I saw a few kids around the pole. Some were talking, and others just minding their own business listening to their iPods.

"Ey, Frank!" Someone yelled. I looked up to see the batmobile in front of me with Gerard and Mikey inside of it.

"Jump in, we'll give you a ride," Mikey called. I look around me and see a few kids staring at me and the 'bat mobile'. I walk forward and opened the door behind Gerard.

"Yeah! Three's a party."

"Uh, isn't it 'Three's a crowed, Mikey?"

"No. Shut up," he crosses his arms and turned back around.

"Well then. Someone's on his man rag," I muttered. I hear Gerard snicker. Mikey turns to look, glares at his brother, and slaps his chest.

"What? I didn't say that! Slap Frank!"

"No. But he laughed."

"Both of you shut up, or I'll slap you both."

"Okay okay! Geez." I replied.

Minutes go by and I looked out the window, seeing the houses fly past us. Taking a glance at Gerard’s rear view mirror, I see him look back at me with a smirk on his face. I take a quick glance at Mikey. He was looking out his window with his arms crossed. I lean forward and rest my hands on either sides of Gerard's seat.

"Why is he mad?" I whisper.

I smirk as I see him shiver, his eyes wide as I stare at him through the side mirror. He looks over at Mikey, then back at me.

"He's afraid of going to school with his new look," he replies with a hushed tone.

"Hm?"I hear it come from the other side of the car. I look over at Mikey to see him staring at Gerard. I back away slowly, making sure Mikey didn't see me in that position.

"Uh, nothing…just blabbering to myself,"

"You need to see a doctor," Mikey replied, turning back to look out the window.

"No! you need to get over the fact that you look great no matter what people think," the brother replies, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Yeah, Mikes. Who cares what they think? I sure don't, and I'm sure you shouldn't." I said, keeping my eyes on Mikey.

He turned away from the window to look at me, sighing "Yeah..." he mumbled. "It's just... I'm nervous, y'know?"

"We know, and we understand. Just forget about everything and everyone, and don't let them get to you," I replied, smiling.

He nodded as he took a deep breath. "Okay. I can do this." He said as he exhaled.

~~~~

"Frank, you’re her-who's this?" our English teacher asked as soon as I entered the class.

"That's Mikey, Mr."

"That's crazy; he's not Mikey," He says, looking at him through the top of his glasses.

"How mean, I always talk with you after class," Mikey replied, crossing his arms.

"Oh! I'm sorry, Michael," He apologizes, walking over to him and patting his shoulders.

....

"So tell me, why did the Chinese come to the United States?" My history teacher asked. I was a bit spaced out today. I didn't hear much of what she was saying before, and I barely got to listen to this question.

So to make her believe that I wasn't dozing off I replied: "To give girls manicures!" I yell out. I instantly froze when those words left my mouth. I clapped my hands over my mouth as the class busted out laughing.

"Excuse me?" she asked, her right eyebrow lifting as she put her hands on her hip.

"Uh... Nothing. I'm sorry," I reply sheepishly, looking down at my table in embarrassment. The class began to settle down, a few snickers heard here and there.

"Please see me after school, Mr. Iero."

"What was that about?" Mikey whispered beside me.

"I zoned out."

...........

"Frank," Gerard said as he sat down at his table and I sat at mine.

"Sup," I replied sitting down, I placed my bag on top of my desk unzipping it.

"Anything new?" he asked going through his bag.

"Got in trouble for yelling out in my second period," I replied, taking out my folder and a pencil.

"Really? What'd you yell out?" he asked, getting up from his seat and taking the one next to mine.

"Oh, you know…she asked why the Chinese came to the Unites States and I yelled out 'To give girls manicures!'" I replied, doing my little yell at the end.

"Dude, really?" he asked, looking at the teacher then back at me. He started chuckling as he said: "Damn Frank, I didn't know you were [i[that down to say shit like that,"

"Well you know, I try my best," I said, sounding pretty smug.

"Don't get too full of yourself," he chuckled punching my arm lightly. He got off the seat and walked over to his. The bell had rung, and a few tardy kids were piling in.

"Così come è stato il tuo week-end?" Mr. Lewis asked the class as he wrote foreign words on the board. "Chi ha fatto qualcosa di interessante?" he asked again while turning around looking at the class expectantly. I see Gerard raise his hand from my peripheral vision.

"Ah, sì Gerard?"

"Frank, mio fratello-Mikey-, e sono andato a Venice Beach," he replied nonchalantly. I gawped at him. I couldn't be better than him. Sure I'm Italian, but he can pull it off.

"È vero, Frank?" the teacher asked, facing me this time.

"Uh, sì è vero," I replied, averting my eyes away from the teacher.

"Oh che è bello da ascoltare. Hai ragazzi vedi qualcosa di interessante?"

Yeah, Mikey screamed like crazy and Gerard is bipolar. "Uh, immagino ... Abbiamo visto due tartarughe testa e un sacco di gente artistico," I replied finally, glancing at the teacher.

"Oh, che bello sentire. Ti siete divertito?"

Does this man ever get tired of asking questions?

"Hm? Oh, sì ci siamo divertiti," I replied, glancing at Gerard a bit.

"Quello è grande. Chiunque altro fare qualcosa di interessante?" He turned back at the class. The class stayed still till a student finally raised his hand.

"Sì, signor Willson?" He pointed to the kid across the room.

"I played soccer?" he replied, making half the class laugh while others gasped.

"Lingua signor Willson, il linguaggio. Hai mai parlare l'inglese in questa classe. Usa quello che ti insegnano," he said, shaking his head.

"Oh, scusa ... Beh, ho giocato a calcio," He spoke.

"Così va meglio. La prossima volta non dimenticare il signor Willson, o sarai passare il tempo qui dopo la scuola per imparare tutte le parole di nuovo- Che va a tutti voi pure."

He turned back to the board and pointed at the words. "Voglio che tutti voi a scrivermi un paragrafo in italiano, mi dice qual è il punto di questa classe," He explained.

His words caused some students to take out their paper, the rest grabbing some from a stack in front of the board.

......……

Lunch was boring; just walking around the cafeteria got tiresome. Third was art and was quite boring even though I very much like it. Fifth finally came, and it couldn't go any slower.

"So now that we've done the work, I'll let you talk to each other for the last five minutes of class." My chemistry teacher said. The class began to talk, some whipping out their iPods and others just staring off into space.

"Hey, Unicorn Lover," I heard a girl say next to me. I looked up from my hands to face her.

"Um?" I replied dumbly.

"Y'know, the pizza? Your mental friend?" she recapped. I stared at her dumbfounded.

Realization hit me and I responded: "Oh! That,"

"Yeah, that," she smiled; "The name’s Ashley," she said, extending her hand out.

"Frank," I smiled back and shook her hand.

"I thought it was Unicorn Lover," she said jokingly.

"Yeah, I thought so too," I replied, playing along.

"Well anyways, you didn't think I'd be in this class did you?"

"Uh nah I don't really pay attention to who's in class," I said, looking around and back at her.

"I'm hurt," she said sounding hurt, while she wiped away an imaginary tear.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, putting my hands on her shoulders; "I notice you every day," I smiled.

"You do?" she played along, sounding hopeful.

"Yes, I notice you sitting across the room, flipping your hair, twirling your pencil, picking your buggers, and scratching your head," I smiled, trying to keep a straight face.

Her jaw dropped as she gaped at me, and finally said: "I do not pick my buggers!"

I burst out laughing, my face going red as I doubled over -or tried to, since the table was in the way- and continued to laugh. I bet half of the class was starting to stare at me by now.

"Geezus Frank, keep yourself together," Ashely snickered. I stopped laughing, the odd giggle still escaping occasionally.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I couldn't keep it in," I replied, wiping away a tear that had gone down my cheek.

"It's okay, I wouldn't keep it in either," she replied.

"Yeah..." I trailed off.

"Hey, wanna hang out after school?" She asked, clasping her hands together.

"Sure, but let me go to 'detention' first and then we'll go" I smiled. Deep down in my guts I knew something else was missing, but I let it go.

"Kay," she smiled. The bell rang minutes after and we walked out of class.

.........
"So tell me Frank, why did you yell that out?" my history teacher asked.

"I zoned out, I'm sorry, I was just trying to prove that I was paying attention... but I ended up making a big fool of myself," I confess, averting my gaze down at my shoes.

"Well, as long as you know what you did wrong, I won't blame you. But next time don't let it happen again, alright Mr. Iero?"

"Yes, I promise," I smiled.

"Alright, well then, carry on," she told me. I got up and headed to the door.

"How'd it go?" Ashley asked, shoving her hands in her front pockets.

"It went alright, she didn't go bizarre on me," I replied.

"That's good, at least she didn't have a bat to swing at you, she would have gone ape shit on you," she said chuckling. At the naming of 'bat' and 'swing' I froze. Baseball.

"Oh shit Ashley, I totally forgot something," I said tugging at my hair.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked confused.

"I have baseball conditioning," I replied, pacing back and forth, chewing on my nail.

"Oh, you can go and exercise, I don't mind waiting," she said, swinging back and forth on her toes and heel.

"Are you sure?" I asked, stopping in front of her.

"Of course! Now hurry, you don't want to be late," she smiled.

"I think I already am." I said.

...……

"You’re late." Gerard said angrily. Something's up his ass.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I replied, crossing my arms across my chest. He kept yelling at the guys to stretch.

"Look Gerard, I had detention and I was with a friend, I forgot I had conditioning," I defended. If he's gonna act like a bitch, I might as well act like one too.

"Get lost, Frank." he replied, finally making eye contact.

"Why? I only missed a day, it's not like I missed two months or something," I defended.

"Everyone! Take three laps!" he yelled. The group ran off towards the field. He turned back to face me.

"Just leave, Frank," he replied, looking down at the ground, his hands on his hips.

"Dude, what's gone up your ass?" I demanded.

"Shut up, Frank," he said, glaring back at me.

"Whatever man.... just get over it okay, and when you do, come back and see me and tell me I can come back to conditioning," I said, shoving my hands in my front pockets and turned around to walk back to Ashley, who was leaning against the batting cage.

"Fuck..." I hear someone mutter behind me. I rolled my eyes and stopped in front of Ashley.

"What happened?" she asked, stepping away from the cage.

"Oh nothing, the captain’s just on his man rag," I said a little too loud.

"Oo, you've done it now," Ashley said stepping away from me.

"I did what?" I asked confused.

"Oh, nothing; I'mma wait over there," she said pointing behind her as she started walking backwards, eventually turning around and leaving.

"What the?" I said. I turned around and was face to face with Gerard-or much more like face to neck, seeing as I was a bit shorter.

"Leave." he glared.

"What if I don't want to?" I glared back.

"You really don't want to mess with me, Frank," he replied, inching a bit closer, if that was even possible.

"What if I do?" Was I trying to provoke him? He grabbed me by my shirt's collar, and fisted his hand.

"Oh, I know you don't." he clenched his jaw. Now this, this turned me on, the way Gerard gets mad. It makes me want to provoke him even more.

"Oh, I do," I smirked, as I took my hands out of my pockets. He started pushing us towards the locker rooms. A few stumbles and pushes later, I was finally against the inside of the locker's door.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked innocently, trying to hold back the smirk that was threatening to show.

"Shut up, Frank! Just shut up!" he yelled, slamming me back against the door with his hands that were fisted in my shirt. He let go and stepped back.

"Jeezus Gerard, are you on your period?" I asked, no longer trying to be funny. He glared back at me as he stepped in front of me. His fist clenched. He unclenched one and laid it on the door next to my head. He rested his other hand on my hip. What the fuck?

Okay, now I know moody Gerard confuses me but angry Gerard really gets me thinking: Does he have some type of mental illness that needs help?

He started rubbing circles on my hip, his face inching closer to mine. "G...Gerard?" I stuttered, getting turned on. I don't need a boner now. His lips landed on mine. I stared at him wide eyed.

He started kissing me, his other hand now landing on the other side of my hip. I closed my eyes and began to kiss him back, one of my hands landing on his hip as the other landed on his hair. He began getting rougher, our lips making soft smacking noises. His hands began to grip my hips as he grounded his lower half against mine, and I stifled back a moan as I felt his hard-on rub against mine, my hand gripping his hip. His lips left mine as he moved down my jaw to my neck. My fingers weaved themselves through his hair. He began to nibble and suck, trying to find my sweet spot. I moaned lowly as he found it…and then all of a sudden, he pulled away.

His breathing was fast and rigid, one of his hands went up to his hair to untangle it and the other to his hip. My hands went to my lip and neck. Our hard-ons long and forgotten, we stared down at the ground.

"I-I'mma go," I stuttered out, not really knowing I had the voice in me to speak at the moment. I looked up from the ground to see his back facing me, his head nodding. I stumbled out of the lockers with shaky legs and leaned against the batting cages, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

"Fuck," I muttered, as I looked down at my jeans. I tried to think of the most gruesome things. Frogs, vomit, Marissa, sh-wait, Marissa! I looked back down and hissed out sigh in relief. I smiled, smoothing out my shirt as I walked out and towards the blacktop.

"What took you so long?" Ashley asked. I looked over to the benches she was sitting down on, texting away.

"Oh uh nothing, just guy problems," I muttered, shifting my eyes from her to the buildings behind her.

"Okay, well, let's go," she smiled. I nodded and started walking out of the school with her.