Accidentally Yours

"Um, hey," I began the moment I saw him. He sat on the sidewalk, looking straight up at me.

"Hey," he answered back.

I bit my lip nervously. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I was angry at him. Did I hate him? I didn't think so.

I just needed answers. Explanation.

"Sit down, silly," he said shortly, chuckling almost inaudibly. I did so, beside him. We were just a few inches apart, and I was sure he could hear my heart racing.

I told myself to stop acting like this; I was supposed to be angry! Not...like this.

"Aren't you going to ask me anything?" Raven asked, now facing me with serious eyes.

I turned away slightly. "Why did you kiss Aly?" I said coldly, unintentionally. My heart slowed down for a moment as I waited for his answer.

"You promise to believe me?"

Slowly, I nodded.

That's when he put a hand over my mouth abruptly. My eyes widened as he leaned down, his lips on the back of his hand, kissing it. Too close. He was too close, so close that my stomach turned - I felt like jelly. Tons of jelly molded into a person. That was me right now.

He pulled away and smiled. "That's how it was."

"Waaah?" was all I could say, feeling dizzy.

"I didn't kiss her. Well, she tried to kiss me, but my hand just automatically blocked the way. After that she asked me why."

I snapped back to my senses. "Why?" I asked, my face burning. "Aly told me you liked her once."

"I did. Once. I liked her, sure. But that just wasn't what I was searching for. My feelings for her died away. Then the same thing happened over and over again. I kept liking girls, but they all died away...and then I met you."

"Why did you lie? About...that night we slept together." I averted my eyes, so that he wouldn't see my now tomato-red face.

"I didn't mean to lie," he began. "At first, I really thought something happened. I doubted we did anything like se―err, it―though, since we still had clothes on. But I thought something happened, like you know, kissing and touching and stuff. I got too shocked when I saw your shirt half-way unbuttoned."

Now my heart was starting a riot inside my chest as I processed this.

"A few days passed and suddenly, I had this memory flashback, or whatever you call it. I finally remembered what happened that night," he continued. "You were crying. You told me you didn't want to be alone. That you weren't a kid anymore. You asked me to drink with you, and we got drunk―"

I felt his gaze on me, but I didn't look at him.

He went on, "I hated seeing you like that. The way you looked that night. You kept crying and crying. And then you passed out, but I had no idea where you lived, so I took you home."

Slowly, the pieces began to find their places. Memories―the ones I had dreamed about weren't dreams; they were fragments―of that night played in my head.

Raven continued on, but as he explained, I remembered, bit by bit.

I woke up in his room that night, and I was crying over Rob and Aly. I told Raven that they were going to do it, that I was supposed to be the one Rob loved. I started, Oh God, unbuttoning my clothes, pulling at him.

"...but before we were able to do anything, you fell asleep again. Soon after, I did, too." I heard Raven sigh, and I glanced at him. "Even though I remembered all this, I kept it from you because..."

He clenched his fists and looked down, until I couldn't see his expression anymore. I leaned closer to see what was wrong.

Then, he said, "Kat told me you were leaving for LA tomorrow. Spending the break over your dad's folks' place."

"Yeah," I answered quickly, then I noticed he was dropping the situation from before. "Hey, what were you saying a while ago?"

"I...um...kinda fell in love with you."

My eyes widened again. This time, I felt like all the air got sucked out of me. I wanted to laugh and run back into my house and scream, but I stayed in place, paralyzed by his words.

"W-What?" I asked to reassure myself of what he'd just said.

"I said I fell in love with you, you idiot," he snapped, embarrassed, now looking up at me.

We stared at each other in awkward silence, but I noticed that his face was red too. My face burned even more at this, and somehow, butterflies fluttered like crazy inside my stomach.

"It'd really help if you say something," he muttered, his eyes not moving away from me.

"Uhhhhh."

"Don't 'uhhhhhh' me," he copied the exact same way I'd said it.

I bit my lip and began, "So you love me huh."

He slapped a palm against his forehead, and I heard him mumble to himself, "This girl is...just...thick."

"I heard that!" I retorted. "Just say yes or no."

"It doesn't matter," he stood up, pissed. "You don't feel the same way anyway."

I was slightly taken aback.

My heart raced every time I was with him. I hated him and missed him at the same time. Right now, hearing him say that he loved me made me feel...happier. I've never felt this happy before.

I was going to die out of sheer happiness.

He dismissed himself quickly. "You can go home now. Take care on your trip."

"Wait!"

Subconsciously, I reached for his hand, surprising him more than I surprised myself. I stared right through his eyes and said the craziest, most embarrassing, kill-me-now-for-saying-this thing.

"I'll just say this once―" I practically yelled at him, shutting my eyes so that I wouldn't see his goddamn face. "―I love you, you moron! I love you so much I hate you for it!"

A very looooooooong silence followed after, drowning me with suspense. This must be how it felt to be waiting for a life and death answer.

Maybe I shouldn't have told him? But if I didn't―

My train of thoughts got cut abruptly when his lips landed on mine. He was kissing me! Raven was kissing me!

But before anything else, I pulled away and shot him a glare. "You pervert," I snapped, so much blood rushed to my face, making me feel like a volcano. "Just because I told you that I...I...you know...that doesn't mean you can kiss me as you please!"

"Just because you told me what?" he asked mischievously, playfully, seductively, teasingly, acting like he didn't hear what I said. He inched closer, shortening the already-short distance between us. He continued, "Told me what, hmm?"

"I'm not going to say anything more," I stood up from the sidewalk and sauntered for my house.

He trailed after me.

"Aw, I wanna hear it one more time," Raven persisted, the shameless punk.

"I hate you."

"Nooooo, you don't," he teased. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly, knocking me off guard. "You love me!"

That did it. My heart's gone crazy and was now fluttering up, up, and away to the moon. Way to go, Raven. Way to go. Stupid, stupid, hopelessly in love me.

"NO," I denied sternly.

"Liar."

"NO. STOP IT. I AM WARNING YOU."

He stole a kiss from me, pressing his lips against my cheek so fast I had no time to evade him, before his hand let go of mine.

"Good night," he whispered just before I opened the door. I smiled, awkwardly still, and he smiled sweetly back, and then I went inside.

I let out an ear-piercing scream as soon as I entered my room, and then jumped up and down on my bed, pillow in hand, feeling so, so, so happy I could die.

I could die now.

Seriously.