Accidentally Yours

I broke down completely. I was no different from all the other girls at last night’s party. I was dirty, ruthless, and unclean. How could I face my parents now? How could I face my mom?

I covered my face with both palms and cried, cried so hard.

The next moment, Raven kneeled down in front of me. “Hey—“

I pushed him away angrily. “I can’t face the world anymore!” I yelled. “And it’s all because of you!”

He looked offended, but I didn’t care at all. I was the victim here. “What if this was all your doing? I probably got drunk last night—and I remember you being there—and maybe, you took advantage of the moment,” I snapped, but then quickly covered my mouth in regret.

Raven just stared back at me, his blue eyes darker than before. He stood up without a word and left the room.



I didn’t want to go to school today, but I had to apologize to Raven for blaming him like that. I’m sure he’s having problems about what happened too, and even though he was famous for being a player at school, I haven’t heard of rumors that he actually touched the girls he flirted with.

Kat appeared out of the blue, a sunny smile already plastered on her face. “Good morning, Hayley!” she greeted. "How was your morning? Did you get your sleep?"

I forced myself to smile, but I couldn’t. Not with all that good vibes coming out of her. “H-hi.”

She raised a brow worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

“I…did it.”

“Did what?”

“It.”

Her eyes widened. “What—the—hell?!” she yelled, shaking me by the shoulders. “With whom?! Oh my God, Hayley, were you forced to do it? Did someone fucking rape you? I swear to God, I am going to kill that fucking demon—”

I shook my head.

“Then how did it happen?” Kat couldn’t calm down. Unlike me, Kat knew all about these things—about the 's-word' and about relationships. She had several boyfriends after all. “Who did you do it with then? Why? How?”

I grabbed her by the wrist and walked with her to the library. From there, I told her the entire story. About what happened with me, Rob, Aly, and with the most unlikely person to be involved…Raven.



“Raven?” Kat blurted disbelievingly. “Raven and I know each other since seventh grade. He isn’t the type of guy who’d take advantage of anyone, believe it or not.”

“I believe you,” I answered weakly, forehead against my palms. “That’s why I hate myself right now. Hate myself for blaming him. I didn’t mean to. I just—just couldn’t accept it, Kat. That my—you know—had been taken.”

“I get it, your whole ‘Virgin Road’ principle, right? You wanted to do it with the person you were sure of spending all your remaining years with, and clearly, that wasn’t Raven. I get it.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore. How would I tell mom? What if I actually get pregnant?”

“Whoah there, girl. Quit jumping to conclusions. Are you really sure you guys did it?”

“Well, I was drunk for the first time. I woke up this morning on his bed, my clothes stripped off of me slightly. How else could you explain that? I mean, it couldn’t have been unbuttoned by the bed now, could it?”

“Was Raven drunk too?” she asked sternly, as if my answer would be the solution to the big question mark. "Was he?"

I tried to remember. I was at the party…I watched Aly and Rob go upstairs to the bedrooms…I grabbed a drink from a waiter…and then there was Raven trying to stop me…and then...

“I…I think so. Why?” I answered, still unsure.

She just looked at me, not saying anything. But I knew the answer just by reading the expression on her face.

Something really did happen to us.



Raven couldn’t think straight anymore. Did he really do something to Hayley? If he did…then…what would happen to them now?

And she even blamed me, he thought, sighing. It made him angry at first, but he shrugged it all off. Hayley wasn’t the kind of girl who’d go around having sex with just anyone. Hayley was too old-fashioned to be like that. And then there's Kat, who definitely wouldn't let this kind of thing slide off too easily.

He slammed his locker shut and tried to get a hold of his memories, of what really happened last night at Kingsley’s party.

“Yo-hoo,” Kat patted his shoulder from behind.

Raven turned around, startled. Speak of the devil. “Oh, Kat. What’s up?”

She crossed her arms and averted her eyes.“I heard about it.”

“Yeah.”

“You two should talk,” she suggested. “I mean, you can’t just move along and act like nothing happened, Raven. Hayley is seriously hurt and in pain. She doesn’t know what to do anymore. Plus there’s this thing with Rob and Aly…”

“Rob Kingsley?”

Kat looked up and nodded. “Know Aly Carter?” When Raven answered yes, she continued. “That girl had been Hayley’s best friend for, like, forever. The two of them met Rob two years ago, and he and Hayley fell in love. They didn’t date though, simply because of Hayley’s ‘principle’. Rob didn’t like it, so he went out with Aly. The painful thing about it is that Aly agreed, even when she knew Hayley loved him. They haven’t talked to each other since then until last night, at Aly’s birthday party.”

Raven didn’t say anything.

“My point now, Raven, is that her heart is breaking. Aside from that, because of what had happened last night, her dreams are crumbling into dust. Her life’s all messed up now, no thanks to that bastard Rob and that whore Aly.”

“Yeah,” was all Raven could answer. He’d always thought Hayley was carefree and strong, someone who didn’t let anything bring her down. He was wrong.

Kat snapped, “Just because you’re also my friend, that doesn’t mean I won’t beat you to a pulp. Hayley comes first. So I suggest you take care of things. Got it?”

Raven nodded.

“If you want to look for her, she’d surely be at her most favorite place. That’s the only place she could find her peace, after all.”



Raven ran to the library as fast as he could, hoping Hayley was there. He searched every corner until he found her sleeping, her head on a table, near the discussion rooms. He walked over carefully, wearily, so as not to startle her.

“Hayley,” he said loud enough for only the two of them to hear.

Hayley shifted, and very slowly, opened her eyes. Raven looked into her hazel-colored eyes; they were beautiful, he noticed. He had never seen them this close, had never really seen how long and thick her eyelashes were.

She sat up abruptly, her eyes apologetic. “Raven, I’m really—“

“I’m sorry,” Raven cut her off. “I’m sorry I couldn’t remember what really happened. I’m sorry it happened. It shouldn't have happened, not to you; you didn't deserve any of it. I’m so sorry.”

“N-no,” she shook her head. “It wasn’t your f-fault. It was mine. I remember it now—well, some of it. I was the one who forced you to drink…you said you were bad with alcohol…”

Both their eyes fell to the floor, unsure of what to do next.



I didn’t know what to say. He didn’t say anything either. The silence was practically killing me, and I had to say something. Fast.

“Raven—“ I said, just about the same time as he said my name.

“You go first,” he smiled awkwardly.

“Uh. About that—if we really did do it…did you use c…co…” It was so freakin’ hard to say, the terms. Especially since I was a girl. “Co…co…you know!” I exclaimed, frustrated.

I glanced at him and saw his cheeks turn into a shade of tomatoes. “I think…I didn’t.”

“What happens if I get…”

“Well…”

He averted his eyes, and I averted mine. Blood rushed into my cheeks, making them warm, and my heart raced non-stop. We were at a point of no return. This was our punishment, I guess, for doing what only married people should do.

“I’ll take responsibility for you…and for the kid…if the time comes,” he said shortly. His palm was over his mouth, so his voice came out muffled, but I heard it, all right.

The way he said it made me feel safe and reassured. So I smiled—I couldn’t help it. “For a player, you’re pretty responsible. Most guys would run away, that’s why teenage single mothers exist.”

“I’m not like my dad.” It took him a while to answer. “I take responsibility for my actions, just like my mom had taught me.”

I turned back to face him, eyes wide. Who knew Raven, who seemed so calm and collected and easy going, had a sad story to tell as well? “What happened with them—your parents? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“That bastard left my mom soon after he’d found out she was pregnant. My mom had to raise me all by herself. She was seventeen then and was a graduating senior. She had to stop for one year, and finding out about all that made me wish I wasn’t born for a period of time. But then she said, if she didn’t have me, she would have been all alone.”

Somehow, we both thought the same. What would my mom say, if I told her? Would she tell me it was all right, or would she say I repeated her history? Knowing her, she’d say the latter.

“That’s about it,” he leaned back into his chair, hands on his pockets. “Now tell me what happened last night. Why were you crying and drinking all by yourself?”

The memory was still blurry in my head, but I knew the exact reason why. “Aly changed, and it’s all because of Rob.”

“Rob Kingsley, huh. He’s supposed to be this hot guy you fell in love with—”

“I still am.”

“—Oh-kay. This hot guy you are still in love with. So, what’s the deal? Why him, if he was such a jerk?”

“I don’t really know why. That’s just the problem. We can’t help who we fall in love with,” I told Raven. “If I didn’t fall in love with him, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you right now. I would probably have been friends with you still though, but we wouldn’t be involved with each other like we are right now. It’s really…it’s really scary how one thing, like falling in love, can change your life in so many drastic ways you can’t control.”

“And your best friend? Don’t you feel bad about it, that she, of all people, had ended up with him?”

“Cupid sucks at aiming, I guess.”

“What a weird girl you are,” he whispered. I turned to face him, saw him looking up at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“You know, the only thing funny about this is that, of all people, it had to be you.”

“That’s a little too insulting,” he smiled.

“Well, I mean, we were always fighting about petty things at the committee room.”

“Mainly because you are such a perfectionist—“

“And mainly because you always did your paperworks clumsily,” I put in.

“Hey! I’m not clumsy!”

“Yes you are, you moron,” I pressed.

Raven scoffed, “Am not.”

“Just be mature and accept it, will you?”

“You’re the one who always nags at me.”

“That’s because you always fail to act your damn age.”

A few seconds later, we were back to our usual selves again—our usual bickering selves. But something was different now. Somehow, amidst all the complications we were and are going through, I actually felt…happy. Safe. Warm, even.

It was beyond what words could describe.