Accidentally Yours

"I-I-I don't know," the words slipped right out of my mouth. My heart was racing, along with my trembling hands. I didn't know what to say. This was what I wanted, wasn't it?

So why couldn't I just say yes?

Rob's lips curled into a reassuring smile, before he gave me a light kiss on the forehead. Then, as he was helping me to my feet, he said, "I'll wait for you."

I smiled back, unsure of what to say. After that, I went on ahead to find Raven and Kat.

But then—just as I had expected—as soon as I found them, Kat bombarded me with her never ending questions. Which were not necessarily pleasant to the ears.

"Where have you been? We've been waiting for you! And now, look what happened!" she scolded. "We didn't get to watch the fireworks together, probably because you got lost somewhere like a puppy."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I was..."

My eyes trailed off to Raven, who was leaning with his back against the wall.

"You were what? Don't tell me you actually got lost. Come on, spit it out."

A terrible liar, yep, that was me. "I wasn't anywhere, and I wasn't lost. Things came up and—"

"What things?" Raven cut in, finally breaking his own silence.

"Well—"

"What things?" he repeated, this time raising his voice. I could see him grit his teeth and clench his fists, and impulsively, my eyes stared down at my feet.

"Raven," Kat tried to calm him down.

"Why can't you answer?"

I tried to look at him straight in the eye. I really tried. But somehow, I felt afraid of what I would see in them. Pain? Anger?

"Actually, something happened," I began shortly. "Rob was—"

"Figured as much," Raven snorted bitterly. "You don't have to explain anymore."
"Just listen to me!"

"Listen to what?" he blurted. "Listen to you, telling me how wonderful this Rob Kingsley of yours is? I've had enough of that! Choose now. Me or him?"

I gritted my teeth. "Stop dragging him into this!"

Silence followed after, but not for long.

"I'm sorry I'm not Rob," he muttered suddenly, looking straight into me with sad, deep eyes. "I'm sorry he wasn't the one you woke up next to that morning. I'm sorry it had to be me."

I felt a pang.

"You can do whatever you like," Raven continued, smiling bitterly. "I can flirt with as many girls as I want, and you can be with Rob and have your happily ever after...but when the time comes—if ever there really is a child...you're mine."



Three days had passed since the festival—three days had passed since Raven last talked to me, or even looked at me. He stopped sharing a table with me and Kat, ignored me when we crossed paths at the corridor, hung around with different girls every day.

Sometimes, he talked to Kat, but of course, he ignored me completely. As if we were total strangers.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" I asked Kat once.

"He's not angry; he's just stubborn," she answered.

Rob began following me around, asking me to hang out with him more often. But for some reason I could not exactly fathom, I kept rejecting his offers. Probably because now was not the time.

After all, when Rob left me, Raven stepped into my life. When Rob walked away, Raven followed after me.

I thought that I wanted to be with Rob for as long as possible. Forever, even. But now, I'm not so sure anymore.

Someone patted me on the back suddenly, and for a moment, I expected to see Raven smiling at me and saying, "I was kidding! How could I stand to ignore you for this long?"

But, this was reality after all. It wasn't Raven. It couldn't have been him, not when I've done something so wrong and hurtful. I never wanted this. I had become so selfish.

"Why are you crying?" Kat asked worriedly, shaking me by the shoulders.

"I'm not crying!" I lied. "I'm not crying!"

She hugged me tightly. "Aww, you poor you. Don't cry; everything is going to be all right, you'll see."

"What if it doesn't?"

"I'll kick the ass of the next thing that moves," she joked, chuckling. "Shall we go eat something after class?"



The best place on earth (aside from home) would be the little shop Kat and I often went to, the place where we met.

As soon as my carbonara arrived, my eyes sparkled with glee. All my problems were set aside for a moment—even for a moment—and I felt like after eating I would be able to face the world again.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

"What's with your face?" Kat asked, eyes wide.

I stuck out my tongue in disgust. "This carbonara tastes off today. Bitter? Tasteless? Sour? I can't really explain the taste."

"Man, you're having bad luck," she commented as I set the plate aside and gulped down a glass of water.

What a way to trample on somebody's growing resolve. Now I was back to drowning myself in misery again.



Raven tucked his books back to his bag after club session in the afternoon as some girl sat on his desk, cross-legged and flirtatious.

"You're spacing out again," she cut through Raven's thoughts.

Raven's eyes bored into her wide, goldish eyes. They weren't hazels. For some reason, those golden eyes didn't seem so beautiful to him. For him, all their eyes were the same. Nothing special. Nothing beautiful.

"Are you all right?"

He forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Absolutely fine."

The girl leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips. Raven closed his eyes for a moment, and pulled away.

"Sorry," he apologized with a gentle smile. "Kisses are a big no for me."

She pouted overdramatically, leaning in again and trying to steal a kiss. This time, Raven covered her lips with his palm.

"I said, no."

"But, I want to kiss you!" the girl whined childishly. "Why won't you let me kiss you? Even though we've been hanging out for a long time now."

Raven closed his eyes again. "You know, that was a pretty long time ago."

"Was not," she snorted. "You started ignoring me ever since, I don't know. It all happened so quickly. It was like, yesterday you were with me, and the next you're off somewhere I can no longer reach."

"What are you talking about?" Raven sighed. "From the very beginning, we've been fooling around. Don't tell me you're taking this seriously?"

The girl smiled. "What if I am?"

Suddenly, Raven's phone vibrated in his pocket. He flipped it open after seeing it was Kat calling him.

"What's up?" he asked.

"It's Hayley...Raven, she's vomiting all of a sudden!" Kat's voice came out panicked, and Raven's eyes widened. "Just a while ago we were laughing and having fun, but now, she's—"

"Where are you guys?"

"We're at the plaza. Near school. I'll call you later; Hayley's started vomiting again. Hurry up!"

Raven stood up abruptly from his seat, practically pushing the girl off the edge of the table. "Wait a minute! Where are you going? Don't tell me you're going to leave me here," she blurted disbelievingly.

"Sorry. This is important. I'll see you later!"

"But—"

And Raven was gone, leaving the girl alone and wondering what the hell made him give an anxious expression, an expression she'd never even seen Raven have on before.