What If I Never Hold You?
This can't be happening
It had been two month since Matt first started dating. He has found someone he seems to really like, and she is coming on the tour with the band. Her name is Cameron. We all got on the bus and I watched through the window as we drove off. How I had ended up here was still strange to me. If I was to say anything to anyone other than the guys they would have thought I was insane.
I looked over to see Abby sitting next to me. I had grown close to Abby and Hayden in the past few months. Sometimes I wondered if I was getting too close to them. I mean after Matt found someone there was really no reason for me to stick around. But Zacky told me that I had to. I was a friend of theirs and I wasn't disappearing again.
"Abby why don't you sit by me sweetie?" Cameron asked sweetly.
"I don't want to" Abby replied.
"Sweetie please? I want to get to know you." Cameron pleaded. Abby wrapped her arms around me tightly. I picked her up and sat her in my lap. I played with her hair. She wasn't letting go of me. I felt so bad for them that they couldn't know their mom.
"She likes you a lot Kass. I'm glad she's close to you." Val's voice said in my head.
"Cameron she's not going to come. She'll go to you when she's ready." Matt told Cameron.
"We need to talk. You, me, and Kassi." Cameron responded.
"Abby sweetie let me go please"I I told Abby. She did and Matt, Cameron, and I went to the back lounge. I wondered what she wanted.
"Kassi I know Abby is attached to you and all, but I'm Matt's girlfriend. She needs to get used to me." Cameron complained.
"She's known me for longer maybe that is why." I responded.
"Cameron she's my daughter, but she doesn't have to get attached to you yet. Just let her be. Kassi is the closest to a mom she's ever had. She needs Kass right now." Matt cut it.
"Yeah tell her Matt!" Val said appearing next to us.Cameron pouted. Matt and Cameron left and I said I'd be right out.
"Kassi you are the closest thing to a mom Abby has ever had. Please keep it that way." Val said. She was serious.
"Okay. I will." I responded
Back in the lounge Abby got back on my lap. Hayden sat next to me. I was playing with Abby's hair and Hayden held onto my arm as I kept it around him. Matt watched as they began to drift off to sleep this way later that night. We were the last four left up. I watched Matt. At this moment that night I realized what was happening.
"I should put them to bed." Matt said.
"Give them a few more minutes." I responded. Matt and I's eyes met and locked for a split second. This wasn't happening, I couldn't let myself. It wasn't part of the plan.
"Kass, it's okay. Just let things play out on their own." Val's voice said. It was that night on the tour bus that I realized what was happening with me. I was falling madly in love, with Matt.
I looked over to see Abby sitting next to me. I had grown close to Abby and Hayden in the past few months. Sometimes I wondered if I was getting too close to them. I mean after Matt found someone there was really no reason for me to stick around. But Zacky told me that I had to. I was a friend of theirs and I wasn't disappearing again.
"Abby why don't you sit by me sweetie?" Cameron asked sweetly.
"I don't want to" Abby replied.
"Sweetie please? I want to get to know you." Cameron pleaded. Abby wrapped her arms around me tightly. I picked her up and sat her in my lap. I played with her hair. She wasn't letting go of me. I felt so bad for them that they couldn't know their mom.
"She likes you a lot Kass. I'm glad she's close to you." Val's voice said in my head.
"Cameron she's not going to come. She'll go to you when she's ready." Matt told Cameron.
"We need to talk. You, me, and Kassi." Cameron responded.
"Abby sweetie let me go please"I I told Abby. She did and Matt, Cameron, and I went to the back lounge. I wondered what she wanted.
"Kassi I know Abby is attached to you and all, but I'm Matt's girlfriend. She needs to get used to me." Cameron complained.
"She's known me for longer maybe that is why." I responded.
"Cameron she's my daughter, but she doesn't have to get attached to you yet. Just let her be. Kassi is the closest to a mom she's ever had. She needs Kass right now." Matt cut it.
"Yeah tell her Matt!" Val said appearing next to us.Cameron pouted. Matt and Cameron left and I said I'd be right out.
"Kassi you are the closest thing to a mom Abby has ever had. Please keep it that way." Val said. She was serious.
"Okay. I will." I responded
Back in the lounge Abby got back on my lap. Hayden sat next to me. I was playing with Abby's hair and Hayden held onto my arm as I kept it around him. Matt watched as they began to drift off to sleep this way later that night. We were the last four left up. I watched Matt. At this moment that night I realized what was happening.
"I should put them to bed." Matt said.
"Give them a few more minutes." I responded. Matt and I's eyes met and locked for a split second. This wasn't happening, I couldn't let myself. It wasn't part of the plan.
"Kass, it's okay. Just let things play out on their own." Val's voice said. It was that night on the tour bus that I realized what was happening with me. I was falling madly in love, with Matt.